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Shezep last won the day on February 10

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  1. Yesterday I went to pick up my mom to take her to the gym. She decided she'd rather take a road trip to a wildlife refuge instead. BTW if you're in Alaska and waiting for your shipment of sandhill cranes, they haven't left their winter hangout yet.
  2. The occasional dream about the future is not a big deal. I've met many people who get those from time to time, and I occasionally get them myself. I've always suspected that time is not as simple as it appears. Time reversing is not one that I've heard of. Feeling like time is passing faster or slower is not a very uncommon situation as human minds are flexible like that. Traveling to other dimensions is a bit trickier as there is no available way to confirm this. (I think I may have done that myself once, but as there is no way to know for sure, it had no impact on my daily life.) If these time distortions are interfering with your daily life then I second having a doctor look into them. You are currently in possession of a human brain and human brains can sometimes have seizures that produce these kinds of effects. Not to mention certain substances. I wouldn't mention the dragon part to a neurologist, and I'd preface my concerns with "I feel like X is happening," rather than be absolutely adamant about time messing up around you. That way they focus solely on the problem at hand. I'd also like to point out that psychic occurrences do not have any direct relation to being otherkin. Some otherkin get them, and many do not, much like the general human population. It seems to be a common misconception that otherkin have special powers above and beyond ordinary people. You should also note that this site has a rule against making extraordinary claims without being able to back them up. The previously mentioned misconception has caused quite a few disruptions on other sites I've been on. There are many other sites out there dedicated to psychic phenomena, but it's not a main area of focus on this one. If you want to go ahead and make a full account to talk about being a dragonkin, we would be happy to have you around.
  3. I'd start by going ZOOM! I'd fly through the air at supersonic speeds, maybe play with the clouds. People might wonder about the freak weather changes and random booms. Not sure if they'd be able to see me or not. Then I'd go visit friends and family, others like me. That reunion might be a little noisy too. Once I stopped freaking out with joy, I'd probably settle somewhere, maybe here, maybe somewhere else, and go back to using my magic to keep the place stable.
  4. Shezep

    Rear View

    (Insert beautiful backside joke here.) Poking at old bookmarks is what brought me back here. Today I looked at my old WordPress feed. I just scrolled through the headlines, didn't read any of the entries. People are still doing pretty much the same things they've been doing, or so it appears. There's the usual rituals, shrines, devotions and general ramblings. Was I tempted to go back? Not really. Those little snippets looked like something seen from a rear view mirror. It was a pretty, ornate box that smelled of incense, and I remember fighting against it often. I studied it, wanted to understand it, tried it out for awhile, but I hated the box. It never really fit. All that stuff behind the box was a different story. I still want to go home. I felt that pull so strongly, and still do. I thought that being around other people and talking about it could bring me closer. It was never close enough. I was always hungry for more. The more we talked, the hungrier I became. Talk doesn't get the door open. I'm not sure what does. This prison sentence is for life. But honestly, my life isn't bad at all. I've made a home here too, and I'm not in any hurry to leave it. I wish I could have it both ways. "Love yourself with the same fierceness that you loved him," Djehuty told me. Just say no to those unsatisfying addictions with their embedded toxins. Love yourself enough to know that you won't crumble into dust without them.
  5. I saw the first flowering tree of the season, an ornamental plum with pink flowers.
  6. My whole Tai Chi class went out to lunch together. Good food, fun people.
  7. Imagine that you've been trapped in a dark, stuffy basement for weeks. Then suddenly you're outside and someone has stuck an oxygen mask in your face, and you're just a tiny bit high from it. Me: It is definitely spring. Mom: Not quite. The trees haven't budded out yet, but maybe in a few weeks. And I'm sitting here thinking, "You really can't feel that?" It's not any sunnier or warmer than last week, but it's definitely spring here.
  8. Three different types of cough in one week. Last week it was the tickle throat cough that told me I'd caught some kind of bug. A few days later, it was the congestion cough from drainage. Today, it's the asthma cough. I don't want to leave my air filtered room, but I have to.
  9. Shezep

    Notes to Self

    1. Those random pains that make it hard to sleep at night are the result of a pinched nerve. You know what causes it and you know which exercises will mostly sort it out in a couple of weeks. Do them. Yes, I know that will cause other aches, but those are temporary. 2. That anxiety you feel is a side effect of the energy increase as the days get longer again. Spring is coming. We know all about "mad as a March hare." Ra's energy can equalize the pressure. He's offered to help many many times. Don't be too proud or too shy to accept. Chi gong also helps, so do that too. 3. Those other random emotional aches and pains have to do with you dredging up the past and torturing yourself. ~Love yourself.~ That's an order, not a request. Don't argue with me about this, just do it. Keep practicing until I don't have to nag you anymore. This one has other good effects, such as not getting overwhelmed when you spend too much time around Ra. He's got a giant gravity well. Stabilize your own orbit and that becomes less of a problem. That concludes the top of the list, next we have things like: 4. Do a little bit of cleaning every day, doesn't have to be very much. Everyone in the house is happier when the dishes are clean and counters have some room on them, including you. 5. Daydreaming is a useful way to pass the time. It cultivates the muse, and then you have something to write about. 6. Figure out that exercise thing. Don't want to lose that momentum gained while hiking all over Disney World. You've got a treadmill and you've got Netflix.
  10. Shezep

    Pull the Label Off

    The last few months I've been asking myself, am I still Kemetic? I'm not in that community anymore. So if community is part of the definition, then no. I never really got into doing the rituals, daily or otherwise, so if ritual is part of the definition, then no. What about the Netjer? Are they inherently Kemetic, or do they transcend that time and place? My earliest thoughts on the subject of my origins were not of this plane of existence, maybe parallel to Earth, maybe overlapping or crossing it, but not specifically of it. I've never believed that I was exclusive to that one river valley. If I'm not Kemetic then what of the Netjer? Who are they, and who am I in relation? How much of that was a real connection shared, and how much was iconography and seeing what I was expected to see? All those ulterior motives and schemes that I read about, are those real, or shadows that the humans painted on walls? Bringing us down until we looked like them, but I didn't hear anyone complaining that it happened. They played along. It served a purpose and didn't seem to be hurting anything. At least that's how I think it went. Spirits, pure energy forms, don't really pass a lot of judgments. Humans say we care about XYZ, so, sure, why not? It seemed important to them at the time. It seemed to make them happy to go along with it. Who created whom? You wear the mask, but the mask serves a purpose and it fits well enough at the time. So, why not wear it? Then they forget that there's more underneath that useful construct. Some of them see beyond it, and many do not. Some catch a glimpse and just as quickly forget what they saw because words don't do it justice. And there's me, stuck on the other side, looking back, with this mind that is like a tiny cup. It overflows and I can't hold on to it. Don't even try, my spirit tells me, just live in the now and see it when it comes. Not supposed to hold on to it, let it flow in and out. So I try to see beyond the masks, and I'm not sure what I expect to see there. Words don't work anymore. Walls and borders disappear, as they were probably arbitrary to begin with. This human mind doesn't know how to begin to get reacquainted. But if it's all so abstract and above it all, then why does my spirit cry and scream out in the night over something I can't remember? Maybe these masks are not completely without substance. Djehuty came and sat with me in his role as physician. He doesn't care what I did or did not do. He tries to cool my mind and return me to balance. Today we sat with each other in silence, our energy forms overlapping slightly. It's like standing at the edge of the ocean, feeling the sand shift as the currents play around your feet. Without saying a word, we discussed the moon and its cool, silver light that brightens the dark. For a moment, I smiled. This is how I can reconnect with the others. No prayers. No asking or offering or telling. Just being. Underneath all the shadows that got in our way, I think that's all they wanted of me. Maybe that's all I wanted of them too.
  11. Deity: Let's take care of ALL the people! I love them so much! Hawk: Solitary animal here. If you're not my mate or one of my chicks, get out of my sky.
  12. Phantom shifts are a daily occurrence for me. I get talons on my hands, wings on my back and feathers for my hair. I get other random things too that just sort of come and go. I just take it for granted that my energy body is squishy and it does what it wants. As for mental shifts, if I get all excited, it tends to break me out of it. I might think it was cool afterward, but during, I'm just being myself. My answer is probably influenced by the fact that I've been at this for decades now, so it's just life at this point.
  13. Imagine the Grand Universal Source as a big bright light. Then you hold up a prism and the light spreads out as a spectrum, a vast rainbow that goes far beyond what the human eye can see. Imagine that those colors make up the many various gods and spirits. And one of those colors is mine. That's my kintype, right there. Yeah I know colorkin isn't really a thing, and this is a metaphor anyway. I'm a spirit being made up from that particular source energy. Different energies affect the world in different ways, like how sound waves bounce the sand around on Chladni plates--they have a tendency to produce certain patterns. It just so happens that someone rather famous is also made from the same color that I am. From a certain perspective, we are the same. We are one being, closer than family. Of course, a further argument can be made that all the colors are one light. Everyone is One when you get down to it. But here I am on Earth, and we certainly don't look or feel like we are the same. And it's annoying to live in a deity-sized shadow. Studying him feels like looking in a mirror, and yet, I'm not the one who captured the hearts of that ancient civilization. I'm not the one who answers those who still call that name. How much of that image is me, and how much of it is due to that foreign time and place? Honestly, it feels stifling to imagine myself in that box. I don't want to wear his hat, never did. And it's stifling to feel like I have to keep explaining this. And it's annoying to feel like something so simple probably isn't going to be understood. Why am I here again? I'm just a blue sky thing. My soul is a pure tone, like rubbing your finger around a crystal wine glass. Sometimes this body and this mind make noise and it's hard to remember that tone, but if I'm quiet, it's there. I don't need to shift into my kintype, I just need to remember how to listen.