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Ithral Dharzul

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Ithral Dharzul last won the day on November 14

Ithral Dharzul had the most liked content!

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About Ithral Dharzul

  • Rank

Personal Information

  • Gender Identity
  • Gender Expression
    Masculinity (weak)
  • Sexuality
  • Antisexuality
  • Interests
    technology, reading, writing, hiking, camping, fishing, hunting
  • Hobbies
    programming, reading, writing, video games, anime
  • Favorite Music
    Metal, Folk, EDM, Rap, Rock
  • Favorite Books & Authors
    Terry Brooks, Terry Pratchet, Patrick Rothfuss, Mercedes Lackey, Eragon quadrology
  • Favorite Movies & TV Shows
    Code Geas, Game of Thrones, Death Note, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Angel Beats
  • Favorite Games & Video Games
    Witcher, Witcher 2, Witcher 3, Baulders Gate, PUBG, Shadowrun, D&D
  • Religion
  • Personal Spirituality
    An it harm none, do as ye will, an it cause harm do as ye must. It is important to balance all things, chaos and order, nature and civilization. No action should be taken without thought for it's implications, and one should stand ready to reap threefold what they have sown.

Other-than-human Identity

  • I am...
    an otherkin
  • Primary Identity

Otherkin Identity

  • Kintype(s)
  • Time of Awakening
    March 8th 2016
  • Body Dysphoria

Otherkin Shifting Frequency

  • Mental Shifting
    I experience it few times a month
  • Dream Shifting
    I experience it few times a month
  • Phantom Shifting
    I experience it some times a week
  • Sensory Shifting
    I don't experience it
  • Astral Shifting
    I experience it few times a month
  • Bi-Location Shifting
    I don't experience it
  • Cameo Shifting
    I don't experience it

Otherkin Shifting Duration

  • Mental Shifting
    It lasts many minutes
  • Dream Shifting
    It lasts some hours
  • Phantom Shifting
    It lasts some hours
  • Sensory Shifting
    I don't experience it
  • Astral Shifting
    It lasts many minutes
  • Bi-Location Shifting
    I don't experience it
  • Cameo Shifting
    I don't experience it

Otherkin Shifting Triggers

  • Mental Shifting
    unprovoked involuntary
  • Dream Shifting
    unprovoked involuntary
  • Phantom Shifting
    unprovoked involuntary
  • Astral Shifting

Otherkin Shifting Experiences

  • Mental Shifting
    It affects my voluntary responses to stimuli
    It affects my involuntary responses to stimuli
    I make noises that similar to the ones my kintype makes
    It affects my posture
  • Dream Shifting
    I experience this during the night
  • Phantom Shifting
    I experience the sense of light touch in my phantom limbs
    I experience the sense of heavy touch in my phantom limbs
    I experience the sense of heat in my phantom limbs
    I feel I can move my phantom limbs
  • Astral Shifting
    No one said they saw my non-human astral body

Plural System Identity

Vampire Identity

  • Vampirism
    Not a vampire

Recent Profile Visitors

98 profile views
  1. The Political Compass Test.

    Interesting to see these two contrasted, and interesting to see how my perspectives have changed over time. It would be fascinating to take these kinds of questionnaires once a year or so and see how they shift.
  2. The "Canadian" wolf

    The main reason humans are classified together as Homo Sapian, and other animals are broken down more is due to more dramatic differences. Homo Sapians they all can interbreed, and follow the same diet without much issue. Lactose intolerance could be brought up as a differentiating feature in that regard, but compared to other species differences that is fsirly minor. Given enough time and isolation broken down into smaller groups in varied environments humans could well diverge. But due to modern travel and large population sizes this is unlikely to occur. Homo neanderthalensis, and Homo Erectus coexisted for a time with Homo Sapiens before the Homo Sapiens out-bread them. So untill Homo Sapiens diverge more dramatically they will all be Homo Sapien. Homo Sapiens have variations in eye color, skin color, hair density, hair color, etc... such variations can exist in a species without falling outside of that categorization. And even .ore significant changes need to exist to fall outside a genus. The particular species in question has a culture that is polluted by previous generations heavily mistreating other members of the species based on superficial characteristics. As such the current culture is largely one which is insensitive to anything which could be seen as supportive of the previously far more oppressive culture. Therefore making a big deal out of superficial features is heavily frowned upon, and comments which, whether intending to incite division or not, that focus on such things, outside of some tightly knit social structures, will result in backlash.
  3. Dumbest thought of the day!

    I'm not sure but I'm positive.
  4. Twin Flames

    I don't know all that much about twin flames. I generally act, and function alone, collaborating only when I myself am not enough. If I have a twin flame I suppose they would be much the same, complimenting my weakness with their strength and visa versa but still valuing independence. I don't know if I will ever find that in this life, it is rather short, and prone to a brutish end. However, I suppose such a relationship is one to search and strive for.
  5. Finishing Each Others...

    ...going to buy a farm and live my days in peace. The question is not...
  6. What kind of loot would you drop?

    A deck of many things draw from it at your own peril, and a Talisman of Pure Good with 3 charges.
  7. Whatcha eatin?

    I just finished some instant noodles, and am now working on a cup of honeybrush tea.
  8. Where is everyone from?

    @Tizri I doubt many of us have meet another kin in person; or at least known that we have. There aren't exactly a lot of us out there, and fewer still who are willing to talk about it. Perhaps it would help if there was more public awareness; I know that I for one felt very alone, and didn't really figure out what to look for for quite a while. Perhaps it would help if we could get together a convention of some kind, or establish a presence at a known convention. Though that of course comes with it's own challenges. On the bright side we have this site. :)
  9. Test your vocabulary!

    I'd say that is pretty good, my vocabulary in other languages is limited to a few hundred words at best, which greatly limits my ability to fully communicate, honestly I find it impressive.
  10. While reading through the library I found the following link: which raises some good points. I am always striving to represent myself accurately, and when needed, revise my opinion of myself, and subsequently how I represent myself. As such I decided it would be a good idea to really evaluate myself and explain why I believe what I believe. There were various things which ultimately led me to question my humanity, one of them being the BBC "Prince Caspian and the Voyage of the Dawn Treader" which my family owned on VHS. (I guess I'm dating myself a bit here, I bet half the people who stumble across this won't even know what a VHS is much less have ever used them regularly) Every time I watched it I wondered why Eustace would have allowed himself to return to being human, I couldn't help but think I'd take the deal he was offered in a heartbeat, the isolation would kind of suck, but in a land so filled with magic, and the strength of a dragon a solution to that could surely have been found. Moving on to my time in high school (pre 2013) where I would wonder for a moment why I didn't really feel right, why my views were so similar yet just a little off from what everyone else was saying. I never got much further than starting to type an internet search something along the lines of "Why can't I be a dragon?" or "Why don't I feel like I fit in?" before just brushing it off as angst and figuring I'd get over it sooner or later. I did largely get over the latter question, and am sure it was largely inspired by your run of the mill teenage angst, however the former question became something I could not so easily ignore or brush off once I encountered a book. Unfortunately I do not recall the title of the work as I was just reading through some collection of fantasy books I found online, I wasn't really paying attention to exactly which titles I was reading, just reading book after book, to take my mind off of the mind numbing car rides across the country while me and my family were visiting various national parks. This particular book focused on a woman who wandered off into some mountains for reasons lost to my imperfect memory. There she met a dragon, several in fact, and while not exactly welcomed at first her presence was at least tolerated after she helped a female dragon lay an egg that was not aligned correctly. After which she ended up forming a deep bond with a male dragon; I think it was called something like the soulsong, which for the dragons was how they bonded with their mate. When this came to the attention of the dragon council they were not impressed, and insisted it was impossible. I don't remember exactly what series of events transpired that eventually led to her mate becoming human. This is where we get back to me, at that point I can't really explain all the feelings that were rushing through me, but in the forefront of my mind I couldn't help but feel it was so wrong, that she should have become a dragon, not the other way around. That was a strangely emotional moment for me, I couldn't really feel happy for the characters, it just felt so wrong to me, such a twisted cruel fate. Of course at the time I ended up just brushing it off, shrugging my shoulders, and muttering something about artistic license, but that scene would periodically come back to my mind and I would feel anew the pain and wrongness of it, despite the character's happiness. And it is from that experience that I begin to build my case for being otherkin. There is no logical train of thought I can compile which would explain that deep emotional reaction outside of having some skin in the game. Not just my brief attachment to the characters desire to be happy, not even an obsession with dragons that largely consisted of simply collecting things depicting dragons. The first is easily invalidated by the point that they were happy, and the second would not justify any more than a brief disappointment at the artistic direction. Neither could explain, or justify, just how gut wrenchingly wrong the scenario felt. Of course I just tried to ignore it and move on with my life, but I could never really get it out of my head. It gnawed at me, not constantly, but when it did it really hit hard, I'd pace and ponder it, rewrite it my head the way things should have gone, it honestly took up far more of my concentration than I could justify so I did my best to just put it out of my mind. I was generally successful in this endeavour, but I could never quite shake it. Life went on, as it is prone to do, but I never felt fully at ease with myself, I found myself searching for information like "How to become a dragon", "I am a dragon", and in the first few links I found little information of use. Just people trying to hawk magical goods, and spell books, or links to various novels. There was nothing there for me, nothing that explained the somewhat strange feeling I had of not really belonging, of not quite feeling right in my own skin. Finally in some frustration I searched FYIAD (F*** You I Am A Dragon) only to be greeted by a know your memes page documenting it. My initial response was that of elation, finally I found something related to what I was feeling and not the usual rarely changing useless stuff I had been accustomed to seeing. But while reading the page I got the impression that the otherkin community was somewhat immature to herald a statement that ended discussion as a common answer in a debate. So I moved on, but the name stuck with me and I pondered it on occasion. My next encounter with the otherkin community came when I ran across a youtube video making fun of them, and that time I decided to dig a little deeper and found a few videos from kin who struck me as being normal reasonably well adjusted beings. This alleviated some of my issues with the label and while I was not entirely sure I wanted to adopt it, I at least left it on the table. Then finally after much introspection I concluded that the preponderance of my experiences left me with little room to doubt my draconity, and while I do not run around proudly telling people I am otherkin I did decide the description fit, and now here I am.
  11. Test your vocabulary!

    Don't feel bad about it, see it as an opportunity to learn more. No one was born knowing vocabulary it is picked up over a lifetime of seeking new knowledge from various sources.
  12. My life, as it stands

    Disclaimer, while this has been my experience it may not be yours, I in no way want to generalize any group of people as many people of a given group have a lot of merit. This isn't about bashing anyone, or any belief system, it is just me venting, and trying to get off of my chest things that have been kind of bugging me for a while but I wasn't really sure where to talk about them. I was raised in a very conservative christian household. This in and of itself is not particularly interesting, I am sure many people here can relate, however this is my story, and for all the pain it has caused me hopefully it will offer someone some insight into their situation, or at least let them know they are not alone. My story starts in a small Colorado town, while not exactly rural it would be hard to claim it is really a full fledged city either. Some of my earliest memories revolve around hiding from other children behind my father's leg. At the time I was far from trusting or accepting of others. Probably not all that strange for a young child. After that I remember falling down and relaxing across all two steps of the first house I lived in, it was a wonderful feeling to be finally free from church and would later be a feeling I treasured after various activities such as soccer. However life was not all roses as much as I may have wished for it to be. I remember my parents frequently yelling at each other over things I did not care to hear about. I would hid from their wrath behind furniture or in a different room out of site. When these confrontations happened on a Sunday morning I could not hid a small hope that perhaps their arguing would spare me from the three hours of boredom that I found church services to be. I would not say my parents were bad parents, but I can't really claim that they were ideal, I recall one time a bit later in my life, after we had moved, when my father so enraged about whatever he and his wife were arguing about that he all but broke down their bedroom door after she had fled there to be free from his wrath. It was at this time that I became aware that perhaps things were not entirely right with my parents marriage. So being the good christian that I was I looked up a bible verse about the evils of divorce and left in on sticky notes where I was sure my father would see it. He later gathered all his progeny and thanked whoever had left said missive. After that things seemed to be more or less right with the world. My father gave my mother a bit more space and we hung out more as a family. That really marked the change in my father's apparent attitude towards the world, when he became far less angry and likely to lash out violently. The best thing about this is that most of my siblings were young enough they would not remember the trials and tribulations that had come to define my childhood. But my journey was not over. As I grew older I eventually reached college age. (of course there were many intervening moments, but those are tales for another time) And for the first time I moved out of the house to attend a college in Salt Lake City. It was there that my beliefs which had been instilled in me really came into question. No longer was it the default position that the earth was 6000 years old, no longer was the default position that everyone was christian. It took a lot of self will, and in retrospect, wilful ignorance to go to church just as I always had not questioning anything. There I met a charming woman, who after some dating ended up becoming my fiance. We were generally happy together, some problems here and there, as with any relationship, but all was pretty much well. Then I finally let my ideological wall down, and decided to experience things as they were, and not as I had been told they were. This came with a number of new revelations to me, first that I was bisexual (how else could I explain my attraction to my fiance while still thinking that a guy I knew was a little more attractive). But things stayed as they were, I was to fearful to bring up my feelings in no small part due to my upbringing and the world in which my fiance lived. Finally I decided to move back to Colorado and enroll in a local University to better my odds of landing a part time job. This inevitably put some strain on the relationship between myself and my fiance. After a few months it proved to be just a little bit too much, and we ended our relationship. It largely came down to a few ideological differences along with disagreement over when exactly we should get married. In hindsight I probably could have done things a little bit differently to ensure our relationship was successful, but what is done is done, and my current state would likely never have come, or would have taken many years more to develop. After that I was really heartbroken, but I also felt like I was in the right regarding the matter. And since our breakup revolved largely around ideology I decided to really dig into why I believed what I believed, and why others believed what they believed. It was an eye opening experience, what I had been told everyone else believed turned out to be largely false. The teachings of my churches, and my fellow christians finally rang hollow in my ears. Exacerbating this was my attempt to deal with my bisexuality, I could not reconcile it with what I had been told all my life about the "evils" of homosexuality. Finally I found the straw that broke the camel's back, Wicca. Finally there was a belief system that resonated with me and did not feel like a prison. I was able to breath again, no longer in fear of eternal damnation, things just fell into place, and felt right. From there I decided the best course of action would of course be to tell people close to me about my path of discovery. But I also knew that after all the years of having been told my new way of life was of the devil, and should probably be eradicated it would not be something to do lightly. So I decided to join the Navy in order to ensure that even if I was evicted I would have a place to go. I arranged everything and about 30 days before my report date (the minimum number of days required for someone to serve an eviction notice) I left my parents with a somewhat poorly worded outflowing of my feelings. My hope was to find acceptance but my past experience told me to prepare for violence. So I loaded my shotgun and placed it under my desk out of sight, and waited. (yes I followed all applicable laws, I legally owned the gun and did not violate any storage rules etc...) My father didn't respond immediately, but when he did he simply asked for some time to think and asked to discuss it more in detail at a later date. Truly a welcome change from the more violent man I once knew. Still on my guard I kept a knife with me as I slept for about a week before we began to discuss things. My parents decided to accept that they could not make me believe something I did not believe. While not exactly supportive of my life choices they at least understood. As such the remaining time until I shipped out for bootcamp passed uneventfully. Once there I eventually fell into the strange routine that is bootcamp. I meditated every night, and when I could grab a few moments during the day I tried to piece together who and what I was. It was during that time that the name Ithral Dhazul came to me. My name had bothered me for a long time, it never really felt right. However my new name did, I had wondered about several names but none seemed to fit me aside from the one I now post under. During that time I began to experience phantom shifting, I can't say for sure if it was the stress of bootcamp or my acceptance of myself that really brought it out. but for the first time in my life I felt like I knew who I was and why I felt that way. Despite the somewhat confining circumstances I felt liberated. Finally bootcamp ended and I left for "A" school (training specific for your job in the Navy) and found myself in Florida. There I met many friends and really was able to be myself for the first time in my life, not constantly worrying about "wrong think". Ultimately I ended up in SOCAL (Southern California) and here I am forging a new life for myself. While I can't really feel entirely comfortable about being openly otherkin it is a marked improvement from my life before now. If you stuck with me through this somewhat long and rambling tale, thank you, perhaps you will better understand me, or perhaps not. Either way I felt the need to get this off my chest as it has been weighing me down for a long time and I have no idea where else to post this. In retrospect I wish I had been a little more open about my feelings, my obsession with dragons and rather vivid dreams about being one go back a long way to early childhood. I wish I had had the courage to speak up about it, I also wish I had been a little more open with my family about what all I had been going through, though with the above examples I'm sure you can generalize why I chose to keep silent. I wish anyone who reads this the best, perhaps it can offer hope to those who feel hopeless, or offer insight into how a person can change and grow in the face of apparent adversity. All the best, Ithral Dharzul
  13. Back From Hiatus With Much More To Show

    It is not a silly thing to wonder about one's offspring, for better or for worse I am unsure if I have any in this life, and it will occasionally bug me. I lean towards no but with the many regrettable decisions I have made I will never be entirely certain. It is also not silly to hope for ones you loved to come back to you, or at least be confirmed as alive. Despite a rather tenuous relationship with my family I would still find it somewhat difficult to really accept their complete departure from my life. As for the rest I can't really comment, I don't really know you, and have only been here a few days, so I guess all I can do wish wish you the best.
  14. DragonPoll!

    I second the opinion that it would be nice to see options for what we horde. I can't really say I have a traditional horde of treasure, if there is anything I horde it is weapons or friends. I get ridiculously defensive of both. Also being able to select multiple habitats would be nice, While I have a deep connection to mountains, I tend to dream of forests, and my time in the mountains has largely been in heavily forested areas. They really go together, I'd say both forest and mountain, or perhaps mountain forests best describes my habitat. Answered the quiz anyway.
  15. Test your vocabulary!

    Your total vocabulary size is estimated to be: 30,500 words To bookmark or share your result, use the following link: http://testyourvocab.com/result?user=9104509 I can't say for sure if this is 100% accurate or not, actually cataloguing every word I know would be a tedious endeavor. I read a lot, even since a young age, I think it was round 6th grade that I first read an english translation of Don Quixote. So my vocabulary my actual vocabulary is likely a little larger or smaller. I am deeply familiar with some of the older, or more obscure words out there, yet lack an understanding of much modern slang. I recall one time in a speech class when I was banned from using words over 3 syllables, since I was confusing everyone else. Though that is more likely a reflection of the poor english education most people receive than a reflection of my vocabulary,