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MechanicJasper

Guardians
  • Content Count

    34
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    2

MechanicJasper last won the day on December 10 2018

MechanicJasper had the most liked content!

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5 Followers

About MechanicJasper

  • Rank
    Plebeian

Personal Information

  • Occupation
    Theatre/Entertainment Technician
  • Hobbies
    Vulture Culture, Witchcraft and Spirit Work, art and writing, Pokemon GO (Instinct)
  • Gender Identity
    Male
  • Preferred Pronouns
    Masculine
  • Sexuality
    Bisexual

KinCard

  • Aliases
    mechanicalMelancholy
  • Primary Identity
    Otherkin
  • Kintypes
    Android, Fire-Oriented Reptile
  • Kithtypes
    Dragon
  • Year Awakened
    2016
  • Shifting Experiences
    Mental Shifting
    Phantom Shifting
    Astral Shifting
    Aura Shifting
    Sensory Shifting
  • Shifting Triggers
    I experience voluntary shifts
    I experience involuntary shifts provoked by emotional stimuli
    I experienced unprovoked involuntary shifts

Recent Profile Visitors

285 profile views
  1. So, I got thinking after receiving a few questions in a discord server I’m a part of, about how my two kintypes interact with my day to day life as a physical human. They’ve found ways to intertwine themselves into my daily life, through my career, hobbies and comforts, as well as my habits. The first and foremost example I felt strongly about was career. So, I’m a technician, as well as someone who identifies as a piece of technology, working with machines through sound systems and lighting fixtures, dimmer technology and projection. And even before I settled on theatre and audiovisual technology, I’d always studied in some form of tech, first in computer technology, then in automotive with cars, then as a welder, and now as a theatre and audiovisual tech. Technology in general is inherent to my identity and my interests in life, both major parts of my sense of self, I am a piece technology and I am a technician. I am both someone who works with and maintains that technology, as well as inherently linked to it as technology myself. Working in my field tends to blur the line between my physical reality as human and my spiritual and psychological existence as a machine, and I credit finding my proper niche of tech to being able to start my awakening and allow myself to accept after 5 years of denial that I am a machine inside. I had spent since early high school denying that nonhuman aspect to myself, having it rear it’s head here and there in ways I passed off with excuses. It wasn’t until between my first and second years of college - studying Technical Production for the Performing Arts Industry - did I allow myself to start being honest about the lingering feelings. I believe that my function in that life was very set in research, however nowadays I’ve taken a bit more control of my path, which I have the privilege to do in another life, even if I really desire my old body back. My function is more so in my hands as a human, but being technology and working with it as I had with humans before is still heavily dominant in that path. Though for that past reason I was programmed with a huge tendency to be very observant, and the programmed observant tendencies and logical, technical thought processes have been beneficial on the job site. Though a negative influence adds to a bad work addiction, a drive to “work like a machine”, which is something soon to be broached to a therapist. However that’s a very practical, technical and physically-focused influence my identity has drawn into my life. There are much more metaphysical influences caused by it as well. My android urges and processes outright become frustrated by the fact that there is any spiritual involvement in this identity. Frustrated that it cannot measure or code the soul like programming. However I find my spirituality to be both a) from my odd-reptile-kintype which had a very metaphysical focus and b) a process I’ve used to help step away from the rigidity of my android self’s programmed activities. A lot of my focuses in my magickal and metaphysical work are drawn from factors I associate with the strange reptile kintype I am still examining, a focus on draconic magick, fire energy work, and necromancy as well as working with bones and carcasses. I see this entity I identify as as highly spiritual and outright invoking spirits from its past in order to assist within its endeavors. Fire energy and spiritual flame are staples of the identity to me, and I strive to include them in both my spiritual practices as well as just general hobbies - my landlord is yet to give me shit for burning things, so that’s a plus. In the end, just another day and another set of rambles. Work was harsh today, but that’s life. -Jasper
  2. I'm gonna be that jerk and shoot you where you stand. Go back to 0.
  3. So, I'm kicking this into high-gear, or higher than before at least. I've been criticized enough - welcome criticizing, as it's honestly needed - that I have and have as far back as I can remember had an obsession with the source I've been considering, having identified myself as an Alolan Marowak for a couple of years. And admittedly, I do, even if child me quite disliked the Pokemon I've thought I've been myself. And while I truly to feel that the Alolan Marowak is me, I need to be certain that I have more than just feeling to this, so we're stepping away from the "I'm a Pokemon" thing for some time, however long it takes, to see what happens. I've for some time been strongly under the belief that on some level or another, I am a fire-oriented, possibly bipedal reptilian, with a lot of spirit focus and some focus on bones. A lot of these may be details that are projection, so we'll see what becomes of them with time. For now, I don't quite have a name for this second kintype, beside some odd fire lizard. We'll go with that. If by some chance I find some non-fictionally-linked creature that matches the experiences of reptilian body, scavenger and hunter/gatherer diet, territorial aggression, and fire-relation, then I'll dig into that more as well. So far I've tried a number of other creatures that have been questioned, including dragons, salamanders (fae-related fire elementals), kobolds (though that was short-lived), and a number of earthen reptiles. But for now, it's time to do a bit of updating and see where it takes me. -Jasper
  4. This is a slightly more odd and personal entry than I've posted before, but here's a look into my mind and some questioning I've been caught in. So, I've been going hard on questioning this Alolan Marowak kintype for about over 2 years now (man, October 2016). Ramping up the intensity of the self-grilling the more I figure out about it. I've questioned nearly everything I could think of that would be similar to the slightly-anthropomorphic reptilian phantom body, territorial and warring traits, fire inclination, and weird diet I experience that I could think of, including dragons, various earth lizards, salamanders (fire faeries/elemental spirits), etc. And what I'm caught on now is wondering if I did fabricate this mentally, due to childhood trauma and a need to hide. I very well could have, my interest in the Pokemon franchise is far from quiet. However it leads me to wonder why I would have imprinted and taken on the identity of a Pokemon I've always been vaguely uncomfortable with, instead of one I've always loved that is similar like a Charizard or Salamence. And if my stronger obsession with the franchise Zoids has any influence, why would I have formed the identities of an Android and a dinosaur-like reptilian Pokemon, and not simply been a Zoid like Rev Raptor - which I was far more obsessed with at the age than any Pokemon. So I guess that's a progress update on where I am in questioning, before I give my mind a break to focus elsewhere. Questioning is a long journey, especially when dealing with the odd shit of the mind and identity. -Jasper
  5. It was more so a joke about shifts affecting work, which isn't nearly an issue. But, I can promise you if I was fully a Marowak, in the physical form, I would not be managing to do my show work. I can promise you however I'm not in the wrong industry, I love what I do even if it's stressful. As I mentioned, the work being non-stop is how I like it, and I wouldn't have spent three years in college for this industry had it not been what I wanted.
  6. So, I'm a terrible Guardian, to say the least. Work has been non-stop, finally becoming properly employed after graduating college has basically devoured my personal life right up, and with that my time to focus on my nonhumanity. But, I'm trying to take more time for that and for self-reflection, between work at least. I've got a second interview for being stage crew and lighting/audio technician on a cruise ship's theatre in a couple of days, so if that shows nicely I'll be able to put down the freelance turmoil for a little while and spend a few months both saving up, working theatre, and seeing the world. That should also give me time for both self-reflection, chit chatting here, and being a proper moderator ideally. But until then, I freelance, heh. I'm going to see an apartment on Monday downtown in the city I work in so I can be closer to work and spend less time on the train between calls. But that's not important, I'm trying to sort myself and my thoughts out after just getting home from work again a little bit ago. So, hopes of change from me.
  7. I've been busy, I'll say that. Finally finished some post-work call paperwork and got a bit of sleep after working through yesterday and the night before, and I'll be in the city again for about 24 hours tomorrow for work again. All in all, I really need to move there to cut down on how much I need to travel for work, it's getting brutal. But, the blues of rent being costly. We'll see where it goes. With being busy, I've set a lot of things that are important to me off to the side, shut down a lot of feeling in terms of them. My nonhumanity is included in that, a theatre technician is expected to be human after all. Well, an android can hang some lights and program some show files, but I doubt a Marowak can. So, human is the goal as of right now. And it seems to be working, aside from the ever-present dysphoria, but I'm used to having to ignore that anyways. Either way, I seem to be failing my obligations otherwise, my life is almost completely focused on work right now. Non-stop, heh, the way I like it. We'll see where this goes.
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