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Found 9 results

  1. Tarots and Memories

    I honestly don't know if I'm meditating right but what I do is close my eyes and listen to music and detect what thoughts and images come to me without guiding or directing it. (Turns out one image I had which was this green maze-like thing actually exists in the game as a statue. LOL!) So an image of a gravestone popped in my head, something told me it was a teacher. Then when I thought of how they died, I saw a little signal that represented an explosion or fire. After this, I went to the tarots and asked if my assumption was right. All positives and yeses. Today, I got together my selenite crystal and began to ask the question more thoroughly, to see if I was right and to apologize for forgetting. I took a picture of the results so I can remember, and it looked very promising. There were zero negative cards. Then at the end, I mentally said thank you, and pulled out the king of pentacles. Which I interpreted as a "No problem! ^.^ " I caught a sense that he was beaming so that little emoji suits it. As I age and get more experience with this life I'll probably be much better at this. I might be a bit odd and eccentric, but I'm not delusional. I am caught up with reality. I realize from an outside perspective or from a dogmatic non spiritual one, it sounds crazy. That's why I am very quiet about these things irl save for my mom who understands.
  2. Stemming from the age-old line 'but you only found your identity after finding your source material', I was wondering how many had experienced things such as shifts, feeling, even memories of their source before even getting near it. Not having seen many who say this myself, I was curious. -- With myself, you've probably seen me mention numerous times how I believe that my own instincts/reactions match up pretty close to what happened in canon events, without much/any prior leaning (heh, you think out in Saudi Arabia I knew anything about being trans? I wish I had). I've bored you all enough about my personal feelings towards London... Some things I can't explain that were just so strong and so natural to follow. Granted, I didn't experience shifts before that time, nor any memories (dream or otherwise), so I really didn't have much to go on. Like they say, things seem to click into place, I guess. As utterly weird as that sounds.
  3. Artifacts

    I brought a karambit knife off of the internet. At the time I got it just because it looks cool. But once it came from the mail. I felt drawn to it somehow.The same type of 'drawn to' as the selenite crystal I got last week. It was then that I realized the knife pretty much hit two kin types with one stone sort of deal. The knife was shaped like a claw(for my feline type) and it shone and had a similar hue to the alien's blades.Maybe it's similar to a blade I once had. Honestly when all of this new knowledge and epiphanies pile on top of each other, that's when it stops being a coincidence and the less and less I doubt it. I want to carry it with me for self defense, but I can get into trouble like that so all I can do is leave it home. I feel whole with it like with the crystal when I first got it. Those dreams I mentioned weren't just dreams. Even from the time I was 5, they had the same theme to it. I was obtaining some artifact of power and when I see artwork of my kin type's ceremonies, I feel a pang of sad bittersweet nostalgia.
  4. Epiphany

    I'm not so sure what happened with my previous post, but it looks like it's been lost on the website. But I feel now that I can go in more detail about my third type, even though I am way too timid and shy to actually say it. (Basically an alien fictional species). Hell, I'm even too shy writing this out. I physically can't bring it upon myself to spell it out or write it out. But if someone else say that is their kintype as well? I am going to be asking a shit ton of questions to learn and compare experiences with them and only then I might speak about it. It looks to me that it's very rare, which is a nice change for once seeing how I'm a wolf therian. I was in denial at first, telling myself that it can't be right. At first I thought I was just hearted with them, but as I kept going on, I realized that the way they move and the way they look matches with how my mind perceives my body. It was then when I started to sense little hints of self. I was in denial for a few days until I began to accept it. At first the phantom shift felt very wrong because of how different they look (their faces in particular) look different from a human's...or anything on earth for the matter. But when I finally adjusted and warmed up at this awakening, I managed to feel comfortable within the shift. Those cameo horns I felt on my head? They weren't horns at all, but something similar to a head plate instead. Feeling like I'm walking bipedally on two legs? I thought at first that I was mixing up my human form and my animal forms but then I realized that it wasn't necessarily that. As I went deeper in the lore, I began getting this sense of it feeling real instead of fiction. I even had a small brain fart last night when I was half asleep and thought to myself as I was browsing the internet: Why are people treating this like a game? Oh. I realized my experiences fit the kintype like a shoe. Now, that was an awakening. The epiphany, sensation and shock was so intense that it made me anxious for a few days until the shocking sensation went down. It felt like I just solved a huge problem or found a difficult answer. I found 10 possible traits that point to that kintype and once I mulled it over my head, I knew. Not once have I felt so sure and confident about a kintype and I am normally very skeptical, probably a little too much. I have no memories so I have to try this method that I like to think of a hand print or a foot print. You have to figure out who or what the print belongs to, and it's hard to tell at first, it can be anything. But once you find it, it's a perfect 100% fit. A lot of the traits may seem like nothing at first but when I added them altogether, I felt like I got hit with a sledgehammer in the head. I am seldom ever THIS confident and sure about anything. I found a selenite crystal at a store that lured me or interested me some how. I don't know why. I never felt a strong pull from a crystal like that. But when I researched what the crystal meant and its properties, it made perfect sense that it would be calling out to me at a time like this. It deals with the crown and the third eye chakra as well as past lives. It was EXACTLY what I needed. But I know there isn't anything scientific about the crystals, but the coincidence felt so weird and unreal. So, I'm left thinking that the universe works in ways no one can understand or prove with science. It was a couple of hours later that I realized that the new species I am also work a lot with crystals. It can be a coincidence but seeing how everything I said happened, it felt too uncoincidental especially if I found it at a time like this. I still feel my other two therian types, but it's on hold at the moment because of this new type. On another note, I brought a coyote jawbone from a store to help me a bit with species dysphoria. Even though I'm not a coyote therian, the jawbone was close enough to resemble a wolf's jawbone, if not smaller. So when I put the jaw bone against my actual jaw, it felt like it was a part of me or that's how my face/skull should look like. The universe is really really weird.
  5. Well I still can't fully grasp the concept that I was fictional characters, like they're made up yet I clearly remember living as those characters. I do believe in the multiple universe theory but I think multiple dimensions would work better which would explain how there's multiple people claiming they're a certain kin. Example I'm Hunk Golion from Voltron Legendary Defenders and there is others who are him too so in one dimension I lived as Hunk and in another dimension the other person lived as Hunk too, we have things in common like both of us piloting the yellow lion but there's differences between us. I think what I explain for multiple dimensions is the multiple universe theory. I think I have made a blog on how I listened to my instincts on my Barry Burton thing, I originally thought that he was a kindred spirit but nope he's an ID meaning I'm literally him and in a constant mental shift as him. Yesterday [7/28/17] I was talking to my friend on Discord and we were talking about the Samurai Edge and I said: "My Samurai Edge had a long barrel, I mean Barry's version....... (Sweat drop emoji) She replied: "Lol you need to get that under control gets awkward." I replied: "I know I know it's hard because he's an ID and I'm in a constant mental shift as him." If you love Resident Evil in general here's a funny memory I had. Chris went to S.T.A.R.S wearing a blue shirt and black sunglasses that were specially to be cooler than Wesker's. There was a bet going around to see how long it would take Wesker to smack Chris. Wesker's face was priceless and when I remember that I laughed so hard that I saw stars from the lack of oxygen. I found Chris who introduced me to Jake, it's so nice to talk to them. I have a Resident Evil Kin Discord so if you're RE kin comment on this your name and number I'll send you an invite. France is still around helping me with my self esteem, he likes to get into arguments with England who's my friend's headmate.
  6. Reevaluating

    Reevaluating Jesus Christ if I knew being Otherkin was so hard I wouldn’t have discovered I was one in the first place. But here we are, no going back, just endless essays trying to explain who I am only to never be finished or see the light of day on my personal or kin blogs. Yet I write, it must help me in some way. It is much easier than meditation: it takes less time, I am often too busy watching anime to sit down and close my eyes, all that jam. But every time I go and mediate I think “hey, this is pretty cool and it has helped me a lot, I need to do this more!” than I don’t. I did some today though, starting to confirm a Kintype, denied a Kintype, and found out that two of them are just cameos I put too much attention on. Let’s start with the latter as those were the ones that gave me the idea to write them: Toriel and Blue Diamond. You know a Kintype is a Kintype by that core feeling in your heart. I just never got those from these two. I mean I did, then they poofed and I didn’t want them to poof so I started to do whatever I can to keep them as me. That didn’t work. I will not deny the memories as being real, as many have claimed to have gotten memories from cameo shifts, but they are real in the sense that my brain perceives them as real. That real in terms of proven or imaginary I am still unsure about; but the thing I know to real is that at the end of the path where I should see myself there is nothing more than just a faint mist of who I want to be and who I have tried to be. Next lets go to the Denied one. That one is the Kobold one. This is where my imagination went wild. About three to four years back I wanted to create my own world. So I went onto FantasyNameGenerators, brought up the Alien species name generator, chose one that sounded cool, and created the species from the body up. It wasn’t until after it was made, and after I joined the Tumblr Otherkin community of “Have many Kintypes that are unique, or go home” that I consciously took on that species as a Kintype. It didn’t last long, until now that is. In all reality I had no Kinfeels to the SAO Kobold outside of wanting to fulfill that past image of me. Now onto the one that I am starting the trail of confirming. That of course is the Werewolf Kintype I have been talking about for the past forever. The wolf connection started right when I entered the community, as seeing that everyone has a wolf Kintype, and I decided that my Fursona would be my Kintype (the thing that described me at the time that I could relate to being nonhuman with). Time went on I discovered it to be more of a Coyote, than a Coyote Soulshard. But like all good stories start, the feelings of wolf-ness did not go away. I guess it started with the Twilight series, as I watch them change from wolf to human to wolf, that I found a relation to (still Team Edward!). Then about a week or two ago I joined vampire and werewolf roleplay and it felt somewhat right. It has lead me down a path that I am not annoyed about following. One clear sign of something being a cameo or not for me is if I get easily frustrated at it for not being simple, but with the werewolf I am a bit frustrated but it is more of an amused “alright I’m getting ya, what’s next?” sort of frustrated. Thought I should just post that. And I actually finished it. Wow.
  7. Fictotype Appearance

    I couldn't help myself. As you can probably see, I'm no therian, I'm no otherkin. I don't have claws or fangs or wings to show off in my sense of pride. I'm not the best at drawing, and have numerous half-finished projects, no matter how often I've thought of drawing my fictotype. Always looks better in my head than it does on paper. Although I do have an OC that looks heavily based on my fictotype, despite having been created before I knew of my source material, let alone my awakening as fictionkin. I've tried to remember as much detail as possible from what I've both seen and experienced shift-wise. Got a full head of pretty short (half an inch or shorter, growth depending) black hair, and gray eyes where you'll probably see me refer to their shade as storm-gray, although given the right light there's a shade of pale green and sometimes blue in there somewhere. I remember a month or so ago where I got frustrated and yelled out 'God damn it I'm 32 years old, I should know how to iron a pillowcase!'. Still makes me chuckle when I remember that, or get close to doing it again. From my own feelings, I want to say I was around 5'7 or 8, but of course I can't say for 100% certainty. I liked a good black suit, I still do, ever since I was a small Mirath I've enjoyed presenting a more formal look, even if I lack the physical attributes to say I prefer a nice clean shave. And even then there are always those days of just where being scruffy overrules everything. So I'm more or less your average white American male. Nothing too fancy. Now, I could go your whole 'standard human hands', which is half true. My right's pretty standard. My left hand, however, even I wouldn't exactly call normal, even if I am stuck with it, heh. Long story short, I was branded with the Signet upon opening Pandora's Box, painfully so, leaving a large oval of pale tough and raised (effectively dead) skin in the center of my palm. It was pretty much burnt onto me (which burnt off the sleeve of both my jacket and my shirt up to midway up my forearm), as well as what I believe to be encoded in the way of the internal pressurized bullet that was set off and took some of my blood with it... I have a feeling it affected my grip due to this and what I've experienced during strong phantom shifts seems to back that possibility up. That and I'm right-handed, so guess I got somewhat lucky in that regard. Why the red glow shown when I believe it to be orange? I imagine that it's the same as shining a flashlight against your fingers, the light from the absorption/use easily giving off that much strength. It could also just be lighting, but wouldn't account for the more natural... I'll shut up now. In brief explanation it granted me the ability to siphon Animus, the lifeforce of the creatures that were released. It did mean killing them, but you gotta do what you gotta do. And I quite fancied living. (Not to mention it hurt like a...) I'm not going to bore you with game lore, this isn't the place, but it was more of a... failsafe device for Pandora's Box, even though its ability to channel Animus has come in handy a load of times and saved my hide more than once. It makes phantom shifts... Odd, at times accompanied by my panic of being found out. And then the annoying times of when I browse through the graphic novel and my mind likes to go 'Hey, you know LeFey? Doesn't he look like an older version of you?'
  8. Firstly, for those who don't know the term 'fictotype', which I use quite often - Kinmunity Definiton - Similar to "kintype". The term "fictotype" refers to the particular type of being a fictionkin identifies as. This term is especially used for fictionkin who identify as human characters, as the term "kintype" does not apply; otherkin must be non-human identities. -- This started off as an initial 'do you just relate to them or not' article, then just devolved into a bit of everything. As I've seen around here for a while, it is easy to mistake a connection with a character/species as an identity as that character/species. In fact I would say the most common question I've seen asked on character-specific fictionkin intros is 'How do you know you aren't just relating with the character, as opposed to identifying as them?'. Connecting with something can range from a complete love of a character to going as far as roleplay and making up 'headcanon' ideas/theories. Since characters are made to be related to, it is often how quickly people with new fictotypes seem to crop up, and also seem to come in "waves" when a piece of popular media comes out. Where this can often run into issue is a lesser-known term that is known in the fictionkin community as 'fictionflicker' - " A nebulous experience of shifting through identities as fictional characters and/or temporarily “becoming” a fictional character and the shift in identity and perception this may involve, with or without the experience of memories or past-life leanings if such beliefs apply to the person. This could be likened to a “temporary kintype” that comes and goes. " (Definiton from - http://fictionkin.com/glossary-of-common-terms/). The fact that these can apparently last up to months at a time can often throw an identity into question, similar to a cameo shift, and can often stay even after you disconnect from your source material and any associated media, which is often used as a way of 'confirming' an identity as opposed to the identity only coming into focus when the media is found/accessed. When you step away from any source material or associated media, see if your sense of identity fades away or persists through the times. If it fades away, chances are it was a fictionflicker, if it persists then more stock would be in the idea of this identity being genuine. In games where you can customize the playable character, this falls into more of a gray area, as you could always run the risk of unconsciously pouring yourself into said character. This may require extra questioning in order to get to the bottom of 'is it an identity, or is it just because they are modeled after myself?' Questioning might not be the easiest at times, especially if you're like me and want to pick your identity to pieces... I could say that it's much easier to ask question on a fictionkin forum than an Otherkin one, but sometimes the questions remain the same throughout the communities, give or take the different identities. So, what do you question? Where do you start? That seems to be it right there. - As said before, taking time away from any source material or media connected to the identity in question can help immensely as to whether it's just a 'trend' or not. The sense of identity may fade away to nothing, or it may persist through the times you're away from the source material. Although at times it may be dampened down to such a low level that it doesn't feel like it is there, but chances are there will still be a feeling of a different identity, or other signs. - In slight contradiction, returning to said source material may also reinforce the feeling of identity in regards to the feelings of deja vu or 'instinctual' reactions to events and/or other characters. Most people run the trial of leaving their source material for a few months/years, and then returning, in order to attempt to rule out anything false. - Think of how you felt before you found your source material, even though everything seems to 'click together' after finding said material, some claim to experience shifts, memories, and/or a sense of identity before they find their source material. - Similar to Otherkin/Therians, the more fictotypes you claim to have, the less you're likely to be believed. The saving grace is how much detail you can give in explaining your identity for every fictotype, and not just going off something like 'oh I just feel a connection to them'. The same question may even be asked a few times, just styled differently, or maybe in a different approach than the run-of-the-mill wording. - One way in order to question would be to document everything - every shift, every memory, every instance of even childhood that might have a chance of lining up with the identity in question. Document it, and then question why it's that way, if it could be something else, see if it's a reoccurring factor. As with any Otherkin/therian, some fictionkin don't have memories, or might not shift, or might not experience home/'canon'-sickness or a sense of instant familiarity. As with the other communities, it isn't a requirement, but due to the nature of fictionkin (character-specific or not), it is usually put under more interrogation. And yes it can put people off if you can't answer it 'correctly'. In contrast, saying you're '100% sure and don't doubt anything at all' may get you a few odd looks. Because that could mean that you blindly accept it without questioning and discovering more of yourself. Long story short, a lot of questioning techniques used by Otherkin/Therians can often be used for fictionkin, just with a few minor tweaks.
  9. (I may go off on a tangent here and there, so please bear with me.) I’ve been looking forward to the Final Fantasy VII remake since the day it was announced; I actually get some overwhelming emotional torrents when I watch the teaser trailer. Let’s just say that I love FFVII with all my heart, soul, and mind; like how I love Pokemon, Legend of Zelda, and StarFox. This game rose through the ranks so quickly when I played it for the first time. It was like finding a long-lost friend. Months prior to getting my PS1 and a copy of FFVII, after watching Advent Children, something in my head said: “You’ve gotta get this game!”, and, surprisingly, my heart chimed in with “You need this!” So I got it, played it, and loved it. Even though it’s been sitting idle for a year since then, it still speaks on a special level to me. To this day, I still don’t know why. When the remake teaser was shown, I laughed, screamed, and even got choked up when the word “REMAKE” came onto the screen. Will I get the remake? Hell yes I will! I’ll get a PS4 and a copy of the FFVII remake; even if the PS5, or PS2000 comes out. This game is something that I’ve loved since the first hour I’ve played it. That being said, someone told me that I could be fictionkin, (Something something..."You could be kin with Cloud Strife.") but I doubt it. Anyways, I just thought I'd share my feelings! Thanks for reading!
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