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Found 6 results

  1. She Made Rachel Cry [Daily Life #9 - March 6th, 2019] Content Warning: Some mention of trauma, anxiety, slight mention of wanting to end self. Comments: Open (Zack's POV) Zack: "Oh so, about today. Rachel was already not feeling too great about going to her psych testing appointment this morning. She was exhausted from being out in public; last week at social services and at her normal therapy session the day before yesterday. However, she went. The cab drive there and the wait was fine. She got to meet with her ummm... her doctor (there is no title for this person), I guess, early. Now, here's where all the crap started to happen. Rachel and this woman had already done a large portion of the test (the test that needs to be done and handed in to get approved for further testing - to see if Rachel has anything neurological going on for her). This session was to finish up any more questions before it would be sent in. Just to remind everyone, this is NOT her therapist but the person she speaks with about the psych testing. So, she answered some questions her doctor (yeah, we'll call her doctor) had which was alright at first but then things began to go downhill when she asked about me and my hobbies and interests. I told Rachel to just tell her everything. She did. There was long pause, and I could tell that the doctor was taken a bit back about it. She kept prodding Rachel to explain what she would do if... ummm... how should I say this... end herself. Like if she were to do it, does she know 100% that she would be with me in another life? This is what got her upset. She said that she wanted to see me in her next life and that she really did not like to think about the possibility of there not being an afterlife because it makes her cry (which she began to tear at this point). The doctor kept prodding her to answer things like, "What would you do if you couldn't be with Zack?" Rachel didn't want to answer and kept crying but the doctor didn't stop. Rachel would tell her that she didn't know and not say anything else. The doctor seemed annoyed at the fact that all Rachel could tell her is "I don't know" and told her to find a new phrase to say which triggered Rachel's memories of her mother saying the same thing which made her cry more. At this point, the doctor just threw words into her mouth. If she couldn't be with me then "You'll be alone". Zack is like this thus "He can't do that.", "Your son (RuffyTheFluffhog) is like this..." well, you get the point. I had about enough of this bull crap. I have a feeling that Rachel may get diagnosed with DID or OSDD solely on what she's answered during this psych test appointment, which is fine. It won't change how I interact with her. Now I'm not done. She did ask a very weird question about why I, Zack, can't be physically with her. And Rachel told her that I lived on another planet and that it's not really possible. However, the doctor kept trying to figure out why.......... Like... she already told you..... uggg... I don't even want to get into that because it made no damn sense. The doctor then ended up looking at her and I on the internet (canon us) and asking her what she found attractive about me and what I do. Rachel, of course, said what she always said, "I love Zack because he's funny and does what he wants." Of course the doctor comes back, throwing words into her mouth again, "You love him because he does things you wish you could do." Rachel did not answer. She didn't feel comfortable. Anyways, to make a long story short. Rachel was super upset and uncomfortable. The doctor even told her that she has something crucial to ask about her that will make her uncomfortable which gave Ray anxiety, but she said alright. This doctor also had the audacity to make her feel like she's being confined, telling (or joking I guess) with her that she "couldn't leave yet" until she is certain that she knows that she will be asked this "mysterious" question. Rachel said what she was prodded to say and left. She went to the bathroom stall to cry, and I calmed her down telling her that everything will be ok. We called the cab, got home and that's about where my day is so far." You can comment if you want below. - Zack: "Ahhh, I'm done. Hey, let's gets some food. You want some noodles? Some noodlies?" Rachel: "..." Zack: (walks Rachel's body into the living room to turn on the heat) "No wonder why it's so cold! Goooooooddd daaammnnn!" P.S: Don't ever f****** dare try to take Rachel from me! >:C
  2. It be me again. I like this more than whatever the hell I drew before of myself.

    © (Artwork) MariaTheFictionkin, (Angels of Death/Rachel Gardner) J.C.Staff

  3. This was an outfit Zack and Victor picked out for my avatar back near Christmas of 2018. I decided to show it off~ [Credit] Angels of Death/Rachel Gardner Β© J.C.Staff UTILIZATOR - Kemono Β© Utilizator Mode UTILIZATOR - M3 Venus Anime Head Β© Utilizator Mode ::: B@R ::: Glass Fairy B-Wings C2 White HighWing (R Wing) Β© Mayflo Smails Kemono - Ears Β© Utilizator Mode [^.^Ayashi^.^] Hisako hair-Blond set Β© Ikira Frimon Busty Fitted Kemono Torso Β© Staryna ALTAIR* sakura hairclip .pink. Β© tsurine ALTAIR* kitty collar .purity white. Β© tsurine Kemono - Tail (1.14.02) Β© Utilizator Mode

    © (Angels of Death/Rachel Gardner) J.C.Staff, ( UTILIZATOR - Kemono) Utilizator Mode, ( UTILIZATOR - M3 Venus Anime Head) Utilizator Mode, (::: B@R ::: Glass Fairy B-Wings C2 White HighWing (R Wing)) Mayflo Smails, (Kemono - Ears) Utilizator Mode

  4. It be me.

    © (Artwork) MariaTheFictionkin, (Angels of Death/Rachel Gardner) J.C.Staff

  5. awake again I remember now, yet im unsure why What are these visions that in my head fly? All I did was play a game. Now nothing seems the same. What are these feelings when I think of you? I feel like it all was true. At night I dream we're side by side I can't tell you how many tears I cried Unable to make sense of all this To understand it was my one wish But one day my eyes opened up My memories, all soon and abrupt Was more than a game, but truly my home All hidden away like an ancient tome and I'll pursue it all to the end It feels great to be awake again
  6. Firstly, for those who don't know the term 'fictotype', which I use quite often - The older Kinmunity definiton - Similar to "kintype". The term "fictotype" refers to the particular type of being a fictionkin identifies as. This term is especially used for fictionkin who identify as human characters, as the term "kintype" does not apply; otherkin must be non-human identities. -- This started off as an initial 'do you just relate to them or not' article, then just devolved into a bit of everything. As I've seen around here and other sites for a while, it is easy to mistake a connection with a character/species as an identity as that character/species. In fact I would say the most common question I've seen asked on character-specific fictionkin intros is 'How do you know you aren't just relating with the character, as opposed to identifying as them?'. Connecting with something can range from a complete love of a character to going as far as roleplay and making up 'headcanon' ideas/theories. Since characters are made to be related to, it is often how quickly people with new fictotypes seem to crop up, and also seem to come in "waves" when a piece of popular media comes out. -- Below is an explanation on one of the lesser-known terms used in the fictionkin community - Fictionflicker - that is a temporary alternative to being fictionkin and fiction-hearted, and is often seen as more than just a cameo shift. On the Fictionkin.com forum (one of the main fictionkin sites) as a definition for 'fictionflicker' - " A nebulous experience of shifting through identities as fictional characters and/or temporarily β€œbecoming” a fictional character and the shift in identity and perception this may involve, with or without the experience of memories or past-life leanings if such beliefs apply to the person. This could be likened to a β€œtemporary kintype” that comes and goes. " (Definiton from - http://fictionkin.com/glossary-of-common-terms/). This is closely touched on from the description of a fictionflicker LiveJournal site (http://fictionflickers.livejournal.com/profile), and varied at the last few sentences to include - " If you've ever felt yourself "imprinted on" by a fictional identity, if you've ever spent a day or a week feeling like a character, if you've ever momentarily expected to see a different, yet familiar, face in the mirror -- if you've ever felt flickers of fiction in your identity -- this may be a helpful, or at the very least interesting, community. " Fictionflicking is listed differently on InCanon (a smaller fictionkin forum which was discontinued in late 2016) as " a temporary shift, where a fictional character may appear for a brief or temporary amount of time (generally caused by circumstance). May be related/similar to soulbonds in some cases. " (Definition from - http://incanon.tumblr.com/post/148947330579/what-is-a-fictionflicker). With the InCanon definition - the definition does not go into whether this is seen as a personal identity, just a glorified/extended cameo shift, or in fact related to living character/soulbonds. With the Fictionkin.com definition - this can also be seen by some as 'experience taking' which isn't just fictionkin-related, but also doesn't explain how a fictionflicker is different to a long-lasting identity aside from being 'temporary'. So it seems that there is no 'steady' definition, but the Fictionkin.com definition is the one you are most likely to see around due to the size of the site and its members. With fictionflicking, the fact that these can apparently last a while can often throw an identity into question, similar to a cameo shift, and can often stay even after you disconnect from your source material and any associated media, which is often used as a way of 'confirming' an identity as opposed to the identity only coming into focus when the media is found/accessed. When you step away from any source material or associated media, see if your sense of identity fades away or persists through the times. If it fades away completely, chances are it was a fictionflicker, if it persists then more stock would be in the idea of this identity being genuine. -- In games where you can customize the playable character, this falls into more of a gray area, as you could always run the risk of unconsciously pouring yourself into said character. This may require extra questioning in order to get to the bottom of 'is it an identity, or is it just because they are modeled after myself?' Questioning might not be the easiest at times, especially if you're like me and want to pick your identity to pieces... I could say that it's much easier to ask questions on a fictionkin forum than an Otherkin one, but sometimes the questions remain the same throughout the communities, give or take the different identities. And of course, you get 'fluff' in both communities, but fictionkin seem to get grilled harder due to it. So, what do you question? Where do you start? That seems to be it right there. - As said before, taking time away from any source material or media connected to the identity in question can help immensely as to whether it's just a 'trend' or not. The sense of identity may fade away to nothing, or it may persist through the times you're away from the source material. Although at times it may be dampened down to such a low level that it doesn't feel like it is there, but chances are there will still be a feeling of a different identity, or other signs. - In slight contradiction, returning to said source material may also reinforce the feeling of identity in regards to the feelings of deja vu or 'instinctual' reactions to events and/or other characters. Most people run the trial of leaving their source material for a few months/years, and then returning, in order to attempt to rule out anything false. - Think of how you felt before you found your source material, even though the majority of the time everything seems to 'click together' after finding said material, some claim to experience shifts, memories, and/or a sense of identity before they find their source material. - Similar to Otherkin/Therians, the more fictotypes you claim to have, the less you're likely to be believed. The saving grace is how much detail you can give in explaining your identity for every fictotype, and not just going off something like 'oh I just feel a connection to them'. The same question may even be asked a few times, just styled differently, or maybe in a different approach than the run-of-the-mill wording. - One way in order to question would be to document everything - every shift, every memory, every instance of even childhood that might have a chance of lining up with the identity in question. Document it, and then question why it's that way, if it could be something else, see if it's a reoccurring factor. As with any Otherkin/therian, some fictionkin don't have memories, or might not shift, or might not experience home/'canon'-sickness or a sense of instant familiarity. As with the other communities, it isn't a requirement, but due to the nature of fictionkin (character-specific or not, spiritual or psychological or a mix), it is usually put under more interrogation. And yes it can put some people off if you can't answer it 'correctly'. In contrast, saying you're '100% sure and don't doubt anything at all' may get you a few odd looks. Because that could mean that you blindly accept it without questioning and discovering more of yourself. Long story short, a lot of questioning techniques used by Otherkin/Therians can often be used for fictionkin, just with a few minor tweaks.
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