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Found 15 results

  1. "Coming out" as otherkin

    As I've only recently come to terms with being otherkin, I wanted to spend a little time researching and getting my bearings with the whole thing before telling anyone. Then, once I was sure about my identity, I started to join the online kin communities (such as this one, tumblr, and Discord servers). I'm really grateful to the online kin community that I've encountered so far: everyone's much calmer and kinder than I expected, to be honest. I had some negative expectations coming into this, and I was scared for a long time, but I'm so much happier now that I've started to interact with others like me. After I'd "come out" (albeit anonymously) online, I thought I'd just leave it there. I don't have very many friends to begin with, and I was sure that those I do have wouldn't take my identity very well - they're not mean or anything, I just knew they wouldn't understand and was worried they'd make fun of me or think less of me. The thing is, I've just been so excited to explore the nonhuman sides of me, and I started thinking about all the awkward situations that might arise if my friends accidentally found out that I'm otherkin... What if they saw otherkin blogs on my tumblr dashboard? What if I accidentally put kin-related stuff on the wrong blog? What if they found some of my kin musings on my laptop? I didn't want to have that conversation, at least definitely when I wasn't expecting it. So, earlier today, I decided to "come out" as otherkin to my two best friends. I can't really think of a better phrase than "coming out" but it still sounds funny to me in this context. Anyways - it went way better than I expected! They don't really understand it, which is nothing surprising, but they both said that it doesn't change their opinions of me at all. In fact, when I explained my kintypes to them, they even encouraged me to get kin-related tattoos! That was extra awesome for me, because I've been planning my selkie tattoo for months now, and I think I'm going to follow through with their idea of me having a tattoo for each kintype. <3
  2. At Ease

    First, I want to thank those who have commented on my prior entries, albeit without unnecessarily pinging them: Kergulen, Shezep and Opossumblossum. Thank you for your insights and willingness to read and respond to the incoherent ramblings of a random user. As for those who have read and not responded for reasons of their own, thank you for taking the time to give them a look. While I only have the view counter to go by and I realize several are from myself or those mentioned above, I appreciate it never the less. Now, for the actual subject of this particular entry, following closely on the heels of my vent that was apparently posted not too long ago. It feels like weeks have come and gone since I wrote it, but the publish date does not lie; even if my mind is trying to convince itself otherwise. Ever since I wrote that entry and got everything off of my chest, then proceeded to look at the new possibilities and almost immediately rule out one of them, I find I have become... content. This is not due to being able to eliminate one of the possible kintypes I had been considering, but from a personal realization and the actualization of the kintype through an artist I fell in love with. To explain, I do not experience phantom limbs (as far as I am aware) and instead I go off a variety of other signals and 'signs'. One of the ways I help myself understand whether or not something may be close or completely off is by having an artist work with me in bringing this possibility to life through a visual medium. However, instead of seeking them out and commissioning someone I know would do the idea 'justice' because they are comfortable with the particular subject, I post wanted threads and see who it attracts. Every time I have done this, the right person has always shown up eventually (a reminder for when I feel deeply impatient) and not once has an artist I have worked with previously responded to the new one. Instead that only seems to occur with my more generalized threads, for when I am seeking original character work as opposed to something on this level. I do not know if there is a particular term for going about it this way or if it may be frowned upon, but I find it has helped me a great deal throughout the years and I am ever grateful to the artists who have worked with me. Never the less, the reason I find myself posting about this is not only due to the prior entries, but the fact that I felt such a sudden... change in my overall demeanor and thoughts. I no longer feel this positively frantic need to try and figure out my kintype, something that has been plaguing me for longer than I care to admit. Even when I identified (I may still?) as a machine entity, I still felt that fiery desire burning within me; albeit to a vastly lesser extent than it had been before. As the title says, I am at ease and I am at the most calm I have been in such an incredibly long time. Even my family has taken notice and, oddly enough, my baby boy cat Thanatos. Then again, I have an incredibly intuitive and empathetic family, so any changes in me are noticed immediately. Though they have also noted how... I suppose 'drastic' this one is, especially compared to what is considered normal for me to go through. While I am exceedingly pleased and quite ecstatic with these developments, I do feel incredibly shy with regards to discussing or even mentioning what exactly my identity is. To be quite frank I have never quite been at ease with people who have this particular identification or 'label', given what I have seen from the wider community. However, I also understand I should never judge an entire group and instead make informed decisions based on the actions of the person. Granted it still makes me incredibly hypocritical to feel uneasy, given my prior complaints and commentary with regards to how people view those with a machine identity as a group; but I suppose that is one of the more unfortunate facets of human thought. Regardless, I am quite content and I will be happily looking into all of the new avenues which have opened to me. I will also be deeply considering my machine identity and whether or not it is as I had believed or if it is a heart type. Of course, looking at my identity as it stands now, it makes complete sense as to why I view machines as I do and why I possibly mistook it as being who I was. Granted this is not an affirmation for or against it, just a brief observation on one of several possibilities now on the table. This endeavor is going to be both exhilarating and terrifying for the sheer scope it now encompasses...
  3. I keep getting nervous and wind up either re-writing this entry repeatedly and setting it to publish at a set time OR removing all of it and leaving it as blank as it allows. Which has occurred four times so far over a month. Never the less, as per the title I am going through this disturbingly circular pattern. One moment I feel this intense jealously towards others when I see them discussing their kin or theriotypes, especially if they were around human size or smaller or come from a more common mythos/type. The next it slowly fades and instead leaves me with this gnawing sense of denial and aggravation towards myself. I simultaneously feel I am solely an autonomous mech of disturbingly incredible height and that it also cannot possibly be me; that I MUST be something different. Something of purely organic origin. However as I continue to consider all of it, I fear the latter stems from the stigma I had faced on a forum I previously frequented, where the only supportive user was an older gentlemen named 'Lark'. While I cannot recall the name of the forum, I believe it was run by the user who created DreamWidth before it suddenly disappeared. I recall my thread getting to six pages of questions and answers, each question basically a new way of asking the exact same thing in a way that was more condescending than their predecessors. Granted I was around seventeen at this time, I answered to the best of my ability; yet they continued to harp on it. There were even threads solely dedicated to tearing down synthetic identities and saying how there was no way for it to be possible, let alone plausible, and that anyone claiming it was full of shite. Yet they were more than happy to accept a single answer from another user who identified as the San Diego bridge before dropping it and allowing them to participate as a normal member. Now, I do not mention it because I think their identity was somehow less than mine, but the fact they were harping so severely on machines that it felt completely hypocritical for them to accept someone identifying as an object. I also wish I could remember this users name more clearly as I loved reading their posts and getting their insights with regards to their identity. It was incredibly fascinating and quite satisfying to read, so I hope they are active on some form of Otherkin Forum or Chat, or that their posts were archived somewhere... Never the less, I feel like the people I faced and their constantly tearing me down, never giving me a chance to breathe for the last three years I spent on there, is the major factor in why I am constantly going through this pathetic cycle. While I would love a little bit of blatant acceptance once in a while, regardless if the people in question raise their eyebrows or look at my posts oddly, I am also aware that I need to be able to accept myself as well. I mean in a way, how can others provide such a feeling when I cannot even give it to myself to start with? Of course, that then brings up a new(ish) question: How can I bring myself to actually accept my identity as an autonomous alien mech? I have given it time. I have ignored it. I have meditated on it when I could through swimming, kickboxing, walking and... well, talking to our Dodge Journey named Copra. I always feel calmer when talking to her. I also "anthropomorphize" other vehicles and often forget there is a human inside, seeing the vehicles on the road as their own people rather than being controlled by a human being; especially when communicating through headlight flashes at night. So given the above, what else can I do? Is there any particular recommendations, whether from other machinekin or users in general who feel that disconnect for whatever reason? I have also attempted consuming media in all forms that deal with my kintype, or as closely as I can get (La Machine is bloody amazing for this), given I cannot actually work with machines beyond my computer (a Corsair One named Andromeda, although he is listed on PCs that can be connected to as Quasar). I cannot really leave the house as I take care of my family and I am mortified by the idea of learning more about the inner workings of Copra, fearing I may do something wrong, even though my father was a mechanic for... Well, most of his life, until he landed his dream job as a courier and was subsequently disabled in a wreck. So even if I worked up the nerve to look under the hood beyond refilling the windshield fluid, I do not think he would be able to assist me much. Yet I still have that desperate desire to work with them in some meaningful way. This entry is all over the place. I apologize for that. Though the questions remain that I will hopefully get some form of answer to, whether from outside myself or within...
  4. Artifacts

    I brought a karambit knife off of the internet. At the time I got it just because it looks cool. But once it came from the mail. I felt drawn to it somehow.The same type of 'drawn to' as the selenite crystal I got last week. It was then that I realized the knife pretty much hit two kin types with one stone sort of deal. The knife was shaped like a claw(for my feline type) and it shone and had a similar hue to the alien's blades.Maybe it's similar to a blade I once had. Honestly when all of this new knowledge and epiphanies pile on top of each other, that's when it stops being a coincidence and the less and less I doubt it. I want to carry it with me for self defense, but I can get into trouble like that so all I can do is leave it home. I feel whole with it like with the crystal when I first got it. Those dreams I mentioned weren't just dreams. Even from the time I was 5, they had the same theme to it. I was obtaining some artifact of power and when I see artwork of my kin type's ceremonies, I feel a pang of sad bittersweet nostalgia.
  5. Epiphany

    I'm not so sure what happened with my previous post, but it looks like it's been lost on the website. But I feel now that I can go in more detail about my third type, even though I am way too timid and shy to actually say it. (Basically an alien fictional species). Hell, I'm even too shy writing this out. I physically can't bring it upon myself to spell it out or write it out. But if someone else say that is their kintype as well? I am going to be asking a shit ton of questions to learn and compare experiences with them and only then I might speak about it. It looks to me that it's very rare, which is a nice change for once seeing how I'm a wolf therian. I was in denial at first, telling myself that it can't be right. At first I thought I was just hearted with them, but as I kept going on, I realized that the way they move and the way they look matches with how my mind perceives my body. It was then when I started to sense little hints of self. I was in denial for a few days until I began to accept it. At first the phantom shift felt very wrong because of how different they look (their faces in particular) look different from a human's...or anything on earth for the matter. But when I finally adjusted and warmed up at this awakening, I managed to feel comfortable within the shift. Those cameo horns I felt on my head? They weren't horns at all, but something similar to a head plate instead. Feeling like I'm walking bipedally on two legs? I thought at first that I was mixing up my human form and my animal forms but then I realized that it wasn't necessarily that. As I went deeper in the lore, I began getting this sense of it feeling real instead of fiction. I even had a small brain fart last night when I was half asleep and thought to myself as I was browsing the internet: Why are people treating this like a game? Oh. I realized my experiences fit the kintype like a shoe. Now, that was an awakening. The epiphany, sensation and shock was so intense that it made me anxious for a few days until the shocking sensation went down. It felt like I just solved a huge problem or found a difficult answer. I found 10 possible traits that point to that kintype and once I mulled it over my head, I knew. Not once have I felt so sure and confident about a kintype and I am normally very skeptical, probably a little too much. I have no memories so I have to try this method that I like to think of a hand print or a foot print. You have to figure out who or what the print belongs to, and it's hard to tell at first, it can be anything. But once you find it, it's a perfect 100% fit. A lot of the traits may seem like nothing at first but when I added them altogether, I felt like I got hit with a sledgehammer in the head. I am seldom ever THIS confident and sure about anything. I found a selenite crystal at a store that lured me or interested me some how. I don't know why. I never felt a strong pull from a crystal like that. But when I researched what the crystal meant and its properties, it made perfect sense that it would be calling out to me at a time like this. It deals with the crown and the third eye chakra as well as past lives. It was EXACTLY what I needed. But I know there isn't anything scientific about the crystals, but the coincidence felt so weird and unreal. So, I'm left thinking that the universe works in ways no one can understand or prove with science. It was a couple of hours later that I realized that the new species I am also work a lot with crystals. It can be a coincidence but seeing how everything I said happened, it felt too uncoincidental especially if I found it at a time like this. I still feel my other two therian types, but it's on hold at the moment because of this new type. On another note, I brought a coyote jawbone from a store to help me a bit with species dysphoria. Even though I'm not a coyote therian, the jawbone was close enough to resemble a wolf's jawbone, if not smaller. So when I put the jaw bone against my actual jaw, it felt like it was a part of me or that's how my face/skull should look like. The universe is really really weird.
  6. Therian Wiki and Otherkin Wiki

    Otherkin Wiki It looks like this Wiki was started on April 25, 2008. There is currently an Admin, but the Wiki is lacking in articles and correct information. While this is a lesser known and less often visited resource, it may still be worthwhile to update it if anyone has the time to contribute. Therian Wiki The Therian Wiki was created in May 2009 by Sherlawk Dragon. By 2013 the Wiki had been abandoned. Last year, my mate and I began to reverse years of spam, vandalism, and incorrect information. We put in an adoption request and were granted administration status. We've been hard at work collecting links to archived sites and piecing together the history of the Therianthropy community. It's a work in progress, but I hope that you can find information there that you may not have known. The Therian Wiki also has many articles that are incomplete. I’m slowly adding information and trying to improve the Wiki in my spare time, but it’s a big project. If you are a knowledgeable Therian and/or Otherkin who would like to contribute, please make an account and read the policies before getting started. Also please fill in some information on your profile so that I can get to know those who are helping. Thank you.
  7. Meditation "Challenge"- Day One

    Meditation “Challenge” Sense I am terrible at remembering to meditate I am going to turn it into a challenge. I will try to do at least one session every day for the next three days and see what I can discover. Each session must be at least twenty minutes long and have to do with Kintype discovery or Spirit work. Oh boy here we a go: Day One- 7/26/17 The session starts as K, R, and I go off to our astral space. K had her heart set on picking some berries found in my astral space. K and R started to chat about the berries as I joined in on picking them. My form changes to that of my Dontarian self, than my nails grow black and long. I put down my basket calmly and take a few steps back as I turn into a Werewolf, I was first like a regular wolf except larger, than took the form of the anthro-classic werewolf, and then back to the former. I let my form change fluidly, not trying to control it, as it settles on the anthro-class were. After that I change back into my Dontarian as K looks at me and goes “You really want to do some Kintype work, huh?” I nodded but went back to my basket to find it already full of berries. She nods for me to go off and continue my self-evaluation. I sit down on the decline of the hill I am on, trying to keep my body relaxed as I lay down with my head going down the hill. I think my intent, wanting to learn more about me, and I start to roll down the hill. I don’t try to stop myself but instead let myself roll and roll all the way down the hill. When I stopped I was at the base of a mountain. Black vines with blue thorns decorate an entrance that looks like a cave yet with the look of temple ruins. I look behind me to see myself falling down the hill, and in front of me to see me walking in, each one of me falling and walking in did it in a different manner: scared, overly excited, and in astral Kintype forms. I started to walk in normally as Anakin, my power animal, took form at my side. He lead me into a chamber with a blue crystal floating and glowing on top of a pedestal. He explained that the crystal is my soul and by touching it I can gain access to my higher self. I quickly touched it and found myself falling through the starts and into a white mass of light at the bottom. When my eyes adjust I see a person dancing. They wear white clothes , like the one’s the Queen’s servants in Black Butler wear, and around their neck a green snake. I knew who they were, I like to call them The Dancer. They are a sort of higher persona of mine I guess, I honestly am not sure. I watch them dance before asking them to help me in my discovery process. They reach out and touch my hand and I disappear again. The white slides away like a sliding door as I look out onto a white corridor. I walk down to the first and only opening to see a man there. He has white wings and what appeared to be a cooking apron on. He introduced himself as Red, and said he will be helping me. He lead me to a room split into three sections, each with a class casing and Kintype I am questioning. The first has the werewolf inside and he said to “Try it on.” So I tried change myself into the Werewolf. And it worked, only I was just a wolf with deep brown fur and various lighter patterns, not an anthro-were or the size of the one I was before. When I asked if I was just a wolf he looked at me, shrugged, and said “Maybe,” with a smile. The next room held an osprey in the container. As I tried to change into the osprey I was rejected from it, and again a second time, before I was able to finally able to in the third try. This is when my dogs decided to go crazy and I was jolted awake. However I did have the weirdest phantom shift where my fingers were bird’s talons and my legs were the tail feathers, and somewhere around my shoulder’s the wings grew out. When I asked why it was rejecting me he said, “You are avian, but are you sure you are osprey? Try another bird.” My mind went first to the Barn Owl. I was given a vision of me in an autumn forest, perched on a birch tree next to its twin tree. Below us was a stone structure in the shape of a den where a dark brown wolf walked into. It was quick but I knew I was a Barn Owl. The last room held an Irish Elk. When I turned into it I wasn’t in control of my body as I exited the white room and walked on water in the stars that I initially fell. The form changed, though, into that of a moose instead. And I was given quick visions of me running and eating in pastures. After that I met Red one last time and said my thanks and goodbyes. Then I woke up. End research notes: · Started my research into Barn Owls and I remembered a Winged Avian I thought was a Kintype who had Barn Owl wings. Possibly me getting my Dontarian and possible Barn Owl Kintypes confused. · The Wolf resembles that of a Mackenzie Valley, Timber, and Iberian Wolf. · I did some research into Moose. This was my train of research into types of Moose: Libralces, Megaloceros, Megaloceros giganteus aka the Irish Elk. Full circle.
  8. Reevaluating

    Reevaluating Jesus Christ if I knew being Otherkin was so hard I wouldn’t have discovered I was one in the first place. But here we are, no going back, just endless essays trying to explain who I am only to never be finished or see the light of day on my personal or kin blogs. Yet I write, it must help me in some way. It is much easier than meditation: it takes less time, I am often too busy watching anime to sit down and close my eyes, all that jam. But every time I go and mediate I think “hey, this is pretty cool and it has helped me a lot, I need to do this more!” than I don’t. I did some today though, starting to confirm a Kintype, denied a Kintype, and found out that two of them are just cameos I put too much attention on. Let’s start with the latter as those were the ones that gave me the idea to write them: Toriel and Blue Diamond. You know a Kintype is a Kintype by that core feeling in your heart. I just never got those from these two. I mean I did, then they poofed and I didn’t want them to poof so I started to do whatever I can to keep them as me. That didn’t work. I will not deny the memories as being real, as many have claimed to have gotten memories from cameo shifts, but they are real in the sense that my brain perceives them as real. That real in terms of proven or imaginary I am still unsure about; but the thing I know to real is that at the end of the path where I should see myself there is nothing more than just a faint mist of who I want to be and who I have tried to be. Next lets go to the Denied one. That one is the Kobold one. This is where my imagination went wild. About three to four years back I wanted to create my own world. So I went onto FantasyNameGenerators, brought up the Alien species name generator, chose one that sounded cool, and created the species from the body up. It wasn’t until after it was made, and after I joined the Tumblr Otherkin community of “Have many Kintypes that are unique, or go home” that I consciously took on that species as a Kintype. It didn’t last long, until now that is. In all reality I had no Kinfeels to the SAO Kobold outside of wanting to fulfill that past image of me. Now onto the one that I am starting the trail of confirming. That of course is the Werewolf Kintype I have been talking about for the past forever. The wolf connection started right when I entered the community, as seeing that everyone has a wolf Kintype, and I decided that my Fursona would be my Kintype (the thing that described me at the time that I could relate to being nonhuman with). Time went on I discovered it to be more of a Coyote, than a Coyote Soulshard. But like all good stories start, the feelings of wolf-ness did not go away. I guess it started with the Twilight series, as I watch them change from wolf to human to wolf, that I found a relation to (still Team Edward!). Then about a week or two ago I joined vampire and werewolf roleplay and it felt somewhat right. It has lead me down a path that I am not annoyed about following. One clear sign of something being a cameo or not for me is if I get easily frustrated at it for not being simple, but with the werewolf I am a bit frustrated but it is more of an amused “alright I’m getting ya, what’s next?” sort of frustrated. Thought I should just post that. And I actually finished it. Wow.
  9. Seeking the Answer

    This has been plaguing me for a while now, so I decided I'd write about it here. I had a memory of when I was my kintype come to me about a year ago. I've had many others since, but this one has stood out for being more complex, and rather unpleasant. Here it is: I was in a field, standing in the shadow of a large tree behind me. There were mountains in the distance. It was a sunny day, only a few clouds in the sky. There was a tree not too far in front of me, and a rock to my front right. My past self's/kintype's adoptive father was standing in front of me. He was very distraught, pleading with me, crying even. He was begging me, "Why won't you let us be happy? Why do you choose to do this? We could've been happy! Please don't do this!" I felt no sympathy for him, only a callous anger. I held out my hand, and must've used some sort of magic to push him into the tree that was in front of me. Then I drew a sword and ran him through. I killed him. That was the end of that memory. I've been trying to figure out why I did it for a year now. I've done a lot of meditating, yet the answer has yet to reveal itself. From what I understand from other memories, I didn't seem to have a problem with any other family member, just him apparently. And I haven't had any other memories with him in it. I don't know. I'm hoping the answer will show itself eventually, I can't really force it I guess.
  10. Gryphon Under the Moonlight

    This picture actually has a little background to it about my Dream shift. I had a dream about this once, almost like an outer body experience. It felt like I woke up but truly I wasn't. I was in my bedroom getting up and realised something wasn't right... turns out it was still nighttime and my body has changed. I was in Gryphon form. And I could phase through walls as I've tested out, so what I did, with the wings I had, I flew through the town I live in. Then up into the sky under the full moon. It was an amazing! It almost felt real for some reason, I can't put my finger on it. I felt the wind blowing through my feathers and the strength of each flap of my wings that I took. I really wish to dream up of something like this again.
  11. "Other" religion?

    I know some of us have memories from our Otherborn/Otherkin selves of past lives. Some of those memories involve religion. My most vivid memories were of a lifetime when I was a Winged Elf. In that society, I filled the role of a healer/priestess. I worked with herbs, medicines, salves, tinctures, etc. I also worked with prayer, ritual, offerings, and honoring of our Gods. The more I examine my current Pagan practice as a Hedgewitch, the more I notice that things I remember from "then" seem to bleed over into "now". I still prefer working with herbs, roots, etc. I still like to be in an altered, ecstatic state when I perform ritual. I still work with cthonic energies and like to feel the pulse of the Earth I'm on. The Gods I honor are very based in plants and animals. Does anyone else find that religious or spiritual overtones kind of leak through?
  12. Ash's Awakening and Beyond

    What better way to begin my new blog than to write a more organised and comprehensive entry about my awakening, identity and introduction to the community? I did create one of these before and my first consideration was to copy-paste into my new blog but the disorganised layout and outdated information in some parts led me to scrap it and start from scratch. So without further ado, I'll get straight to business. Introduction For those who don't know me, I suppose I'll begin with a quick introduction. Within the community I always go by AshenFall, I tend not to switch around my username for simplicity and because I've grown attached to it. We don't constantly change our names in real life, so why do so on the internet? More informally I go by the names: Ash, Ashen or Floof, although any reasonable derivation of my username I'm perfectly fine with. I am a 19 year old trans man from the edge of the Lake District, a national park situated in one of the northernmost regions of England. Surprisingly, I do have a life outside of the internet, although the amount of time I spend on it would have one believe otherwise! I'm currently studying psychology at university, hoping one day to find a job in the realm of forensic psychology but I try not to be too specific due to the unpredictable nature of life and health issues. I have a pet birb, a Green Cheeked Conure named Darwin. But I also have a more fiery bird companion living in my head, Arca. I do have a daemon too, Arabella is the name she currently goes by, although as of yet she does not have a settled form. So I suppose you could say we're a system of three but not in the traditional sense, I almost always control the body. I've been an active part of the otherkin community for nearly two years now, although I have identified as such (without knowing the term) for several years longer. I have three kintypes, snow leopard, western dragon and Rhys of the Borderlands universe. I most certainly didn't discover them at the same time, it was far more of a staggered process, in order from left to right. I won't deny I had my fair share of mistakes happen on the journey of self-discovery and I'll go into that below. Initial Awakening Thinking back to when I first felt the signs of being non-human a lot is pretty blurry. I never had an awakening in the traditional sense, but at the same time it wasn't a feeling that was "always there and I knew it". As a child I'd always had a strong draw toward animals, I saw them more as brethren than as another species as cheesy as that sounds. But hey I was a kid, kids are pretty damn cheesy. Felids had always stuck out to me above the rest in terms of living creatures, and in mythology I was always attracted to dragons and felid-like creatures. I pretty much always played the cat, the tiger, the dragon. I didn't like playing as a human character all too much because it just felt wrong to me in a way I can't explain or quite put my finger on. Looking back on that maybe it was a sign of my non-human identity and something that as a kid I couldn't really understand. Or maybe it was just some of the building blocks that led to a psychological occurrence forming my identities. I still don't know whether I view a more spiritual or psychological approach on being otherkin after all, so for now it's kind of a strong mixture of the two. Either way I try not to put too much stock into it because kids naturally play pretend and sentimentalism can skew things greatly. As I grew up of course the days of playing pretend and running around on all fours ceased. Weirdly enough and much to my dismay however, I just didn't feel right like I was yearning to be able to express myself in such a way again. I didn't for very obvious reasons but some days it got stronger than others and it confused me. I was confused enough as it could get anyways without that, we're talking around 2008/09 if I recall correctly, I was reaching the years of cringy teen angst and puberty. Again, sometimes I'm not quite sure if this was just a normal transitioning behaviour from child to teen, or if it was another sign. I always listed that time as the beginning my awakening because of the surfacing feelings and unease. But I'd be lying if I said it was the climax. It wasn't until I was 15 years old that it got to a level I couldn't deny or try to rationalise it as my imagination any more. Coincidentally enough this occurred not long after a time of great trauma in my life and the subsequent unstable months that followed. Around this time phantom limbs began to surface noticeably and I won't deny it scared me a bit, feeling appendages that weren't there. I think I may have had them before that time but my memory is sketchy. This was before my discovery of the otherkin community so I had no idea what phantom limbs were and I certainly didn't make the link to the syndromes of a similar name. I'd had what I assume were mental shifts before then so I'd experienced a couple weird things but this was a whole new level for me. I always tried to rationalise it. It had to just be my imagination and some kind of fantasy or escapism from the trauma, right? Shifts became that bit more frequent and noticeable in both forms, phantom and mental. Not knowing the terms I just called them "moments" to myself and although I did feel they were linked to animals (I began experiencing what I'd later understand to be species dysphoria) it wasn't quite that simple. I didn't know otherkin existed, to me I was either getting caught up in my imagination or going insane. But I'd soon discover it and things were about to start making sense to me. Finding the Community I was 16 at the time, had been in a long distance relationship for a good few months with my now ex. She first introduced me to the terms otherkin and therian. She was a therian herself, a self-proclaimed wolf therian. I feel sheepish admitting for a few months I genuinely thought therians were roleplayers thanks to my ex being that therian. The wolfaboo kind who makes a pack, howls at the moon and wears tails and collars in public to express their therianthropy and "get in touch" with the animal within. So it was a case of thinking: "oh cool I guess I can be a therian too" although I didn't go to the wolfaboo extent, just online roleplaying with my ex and some other people. At a later date I do remember her explaining to me better what a therian was. That it was an identity and more than just some roleplaying game. That's when I began googling the terms and came across a page on Therian-Guide. I never made a forum account there, just browsed through the information pages and I admit it really helped me make sense of what the terms really meant. It also hit me that these feelings I'd had earlier on in my life fit with some of the terminology being used and the definitions. That's when I seriously began to question if I was otherkin, although at the back of my mind I was worried I was being a "wannabe" and taking things at face value. So I didn't start using the term right away, I just kept it in mind and started searching for advice on how to find your kintype. I don't recall where I searched, there were several sites, most abandoned or outdated. And there was a heck of a lot of conflicting and confusing information so I believe I stepped back from it all for awhile, feeling overwhelmed. It wasn't many months after that when me and my ex broke ties, went our separate ways I guess you could say. There'd been a bit of turmoil and a few situations but it didn't end badly. So with that and everything else I decided to stop the self-discovery and focus on more pressing things in my life, returning when I felt better equipped. The shifts never went away of course, but I tried not to worry about them too much. I did try each time to figure out what they were. Sometimes I felt phantom wings, but more often I felt fur and wide paws and a tail and ears. Mental shifts were harder to figure out. July of 2015 I decided to dive into the community again and get some advice and discover my kintype or kintypes. That's when I joined Kinmunity, finding it through a link on a Google+ therianthropy group page. After a few minutes of nervous consideration I signed up and made this very account, albeit anxious. I hadn't participated much on forums before and being socially anxious the worries exacerbated. I never joined the chat to begin with, for my first few weeks I don't think I ever dared click on the chat link out of fear, watching the little red number fluctuate in size. I did make an introduction (very cringy one in retrospect) and I felt so much relief to find myself being welcomed by so many people. Everyone seemed nice. It still took me a little while before I began posting frequently in the forums though, and asking for advice every now and then. Heh I still remember kiror telling me to look into bony fish after a red herring (pun not intended) meditation session. And speaking of red herrings, I've had plenty of them. I did look into the fish, but quickly found out that was just some sensation completely unrelated to shifts. I looked into canids for ages, it seems everyone begins drawn to the wolves. Some things fit, but a lot didn't so I gave up looking there. I felt feline mostly when I thought about it, but... there was something else too. I still had that draw to canines so I looked into hyenas, being feliformes with canine traits. The Striped Hyena I looked into for a bit but that didn't fit. Then I looked into the felidae. Tigers were my initial go-to. I'd been obsessed with tigers since I was a little kid (funnily enough they are the closest cousins of the snow leopard, a species which I didn't know about as a kid) so it felt natural to check 'em out. But nah, too big. I snooped through many different felids but it was a case of: "nope, no, no, no maybe... oh maybe not, no" before I hit the clouded leopard. There was a week where I thought I'd nailed it but something felt off about it still, especially climate-wise. After much introspection, meditation, writing otherkin journals and keeping tabs on odd behaviours I finally came to the conclusion I was a snow leopard. It was far from simple, that I can remember as clear as day. But I'd gotten there and that was what mattered to me most right then. Second Kintype I was so happy I'd found my kintype I completely disregarded the other feelings I'd been getting. I think at the time I just kept passing them off as cameo shifts, especially the whole wing scenario. After finding my kintype I'd gained that bit more confidence, not feeling like some kid out of the loop with no knowledge of what I was. I participated a lot more on the site, joined a few chat groups, made some great friends and life was good. But there came a time when I couldn't pass off these shifts as just cameos. They were happening far too frequently and, not aligning with my snow leopard kintype I had to acknowledge maybe I did have a second kintype. At the time I was skeptical, I knew there were many people with more than one kintype but I feel like I was always scared I was getting too ahead of myself hence the repression for so long. It took a long time before I settled on dragon actually, I tried to avoid that path because I thought much like the wolf situation with many therians, that I would be fluffy for thinking I was. But looking through birds, mythological birds and even dinosaurs, nothing fully clicked. My last step was looking into dragons and there it was I found my answer. Funnily enough I realised I also somewhat resemble one of Pathfinder's Gold Dragons. I don't believe I am one though and that part is more coincidence than anything else. I mean I won't disregard the possibility of course, but there are enough differences to make me shrug off that part. Like discovering my snow leopard kintype, I used similar tactics albeit more comfortably this time as I was getting the hang of the whole introspection thing. Again I did use meditation, but the memories I uncovered while doing so I was more sceptical and critical of, than I was back when I first found the community. There was enough to make me realise I was a desert dwelling dragon, but that is the most damning evidence I have uncovered since then. It was around this time also that I began questioning whether I saw my identity as spiritual or psychological in nature. Initially I had come into the community strongly believing it was a spiritual thing, but as I spent more time the psychological possibilities began making sense to me also. And being unsure about my stance on the existence of dragons in this universe it definitely brought rise to many doubts and uncertainties. I won't deny that even now I'm unsure which explanation makes the most sense to me, although I do believe there is a strong psychological aspect. I've never ruled out spiritual explanations either, especially regarding my snow leopard kintype, that I still feel is a strong mix of both. Multiplicity Some time around the months when I was discovering my second kintype I stumbled upon the tulpa community. We're talking late 2015, I'd heard the term mentioned a few times on Kinmunity and I was intrigued. I'd actually heard the term before then, but in that one creepypasta called the Tulpa Effect and I highly doubted they were the same thing. I looked about on tulpa.info, read some guides and started to build up a picture of what to expect from creating a tulpa and the best ways to go about it. I remember at the same time Mirath was also making a tulpa, so we kinda worked together through a lot of the process with our respective planned tulpae. I think it took around four to five months of forcing, concentration and meditation (and a few changes in form) before me and Arca could communicate to a point I could call him a headmate. Since then we've been extremely close and although he doesn't speak much on the site and admits he's more of an observer, he's a good companion. It's been well over a year now since we first "met" and honestly sometimes it's hard to remember what life was like without him around, sharing the headspace. Since that time we've had a couple walk-ins (never staying long) and within the last few months I also began work on a daemon who I briefly mentioned above. As I said there, we're still in the early stages but she's communicative just not yet settled on a form. That's something we'll dedicate more time on when I'm not so busy with university I think. Despite technically being a plural system, we've never really bothered to call ourselves such. We all feel at our core we're a strongly tied median system, yes we're separate from each other but all interconnected deeply enough we don't actually feel separate in that sense. Terminology tends to confuse me though, so honestly we don't care what we're called (within reason). Mistaken Identity and Being Fictionkin Before the daemonism situation I had quite the confusing time. First I began questioning fictionkin mid-2016, but not the kintype I currently identify as. I made a huge mistake that I'm still kind of embarrassed about to this day, because I jumped the gun and ignored my own advice I so often preach. It wasn't that I hadn't spent a good long look and think about it all! No, it was just at the time I encountered such a strong feeling and fuelled with cameo shifts I found myself led astray. I'd been binge watching American Horror Story again at the time and I think my love for the show interfered very strongly in that regard. But a month or so later after the Netflix binge I realised I had been too quick to conclude when any "identity" I had in that brief period completely ceased and safe to say hasn't resurfaced since. I still don't know if it was a cameo shift scenario or a fictionhearted connection but I do my best not to dwell on it too much because in the end it doesn't really matter. The gods know I lost a lot of confidence in my ability to tell what was what after my mistake. So after I'd played Tales from the Borderlands for the very first time and had it stir up emotions and recognition beyond what I could ever have expected I was crazy doubtful. I tried for a short while to repress it, but it was actually making me depressed and the homesickness hit extreme levels to where at some points I just didn't want to talk to anybody, even Arca. I decided at that point I couldn't pretend this wasn't a thing, so I plucked up my courage and decided it was time to do some good old introspection and research. I'd known about the Borderlands series for a while, but beyond the name I didn't know a single thing about it. So when I first played the games I had gone in blind and yet felt a familiarity that really struck me as off. And that was only the beginning. I do feel I had shifts relating to my identity as Rhys before then, but I'm wary of saying such, since it could be my mind playing tricks on me for that part. And of course I'm still very sceptical on my stance of being fictionkin in a past life. Since then I have definitely had a fair share of mental shifts and phantom shifts, like with my other kintypes. While in the questioning process I kept my distance from the games for a while, or anything that reminded me of them. Like my mistaken identity I didn't want to jump the gun. But unlike last time the homesickness just kept cropping up even when I hadn't been thinking about it, and the shifts didn't stop after a couple months. I got memories too, every now and then, brief flashes of things that happened between what was documented in the canon, and things that did happen in canon, albeit with a few differences. In terms of processes, similar to my previous two kintypes. Introspection, research, journals, distancing to ensure there was no confirmation bias or confusion going on. It did take me a while, but by the end of 2016 I felt comfortable enough in myself to know that this time I'd hit a kintype and not made a mistake. In terms of how close to canon I feel I am... pretty close. Most things I recall being similar or the same, nothing major happened differently anyways. Fini So by the time 2017 rolled in I was comfortable in saying I had three kintypes and now, heading into mid-year I most certainly still am. Since then I haven't had any other possible kintypes surfacing so I feel confident that I probably don't have any more. I've had cameo shifts every now and then, but very brief and since my mistake I tend to pay little heed to them, especially since so far none have persisted beyond a month at a time. With all of that said, I suppose I'll conclude this entry, my fingers are losing fuel here, heh. If anyone actually read this far, props to you because I am terrible for rambling on too long. And on that note I'm happy to answer questions here on this blog post or elaborate on anything.
  13. Reuploading my entry to the contest. When I think of Kinmunity I think of the chat, and all those I speak to there.
  14. The Amazing Atheist?

    I'm not sure where this should go so I apologize if this isn't the correct spot. I often go on tumblr just for silly little gifs and the like, but recently I have begun to just go through the 'otherkin' tag to have a peak. I get curious, it happens. Recently the community has been freaking out about a video that The Amazing Athiest has made and have; 1) sent him so many asks, trying to defend themselves, that he has had to close his inbox 2) effectively gone into hiding and called him horribly ableist when it comes to the subject matter. 3) have gotten mad countless times at otherkin, within the site, who point out to everyone why people make fun of the community and that they should not be mad that they have pretty much been called out. Apparently the whole "think of the children" argument is being flung around, saying that older members MUST help the younger ones defend themselves if they are to be targeted so to speak. Originally after the first otherkin related video this man has made there wasn't going to be much more about it, however with the way the community has recoiled on itself he has said there will definitely be a follow up. I'm just wondering what everyone feels about this whole thing. I am still learning about this whole thing myself since literally just this morning is when I found out about the whole thing. I apologize if this is a mish-mosh, but hopefully those who know about this can understand what I am referencing.
  15. (Repost since the site went down, since this is an older post some things may be outdated now.) History I follow science and logic as closely as I can, it's the only thing that keeps me grounded in a world that's rather confusing and daunting to try and navigate. However I wasn't raised on science, I grew up in a household that didn't impose any beliefs on me, leaving me to discover the world however I wished. As a child, I didn't know about religion until a few friends would bring up things such as 'hell' and 'heaven'. Confused and interested I asked them what it was, and the answer I got sounded exactly like the story books I read before going to bed, so I dismissed it and just carried on letting them believe whatever they wished. Heck, at the time I believed in dragons, though it turned out to be more of a desperate plea rather than something I could continue to believe in in a seance that they walked among us. (Though ironically if Dragonkin are to be counted, maybe I wasn't wrong.) However, Otherkin for the most part seems to almost repel science theories and speculation. There's a number of very valid reasons for this, one being that it's simply an impossible thing to test or think about scientifically since it's beyond our abilities at present. Yet a lot of people's beliefs seem to be spiritual, in fact I'd say about 85% of the community from what I've seen tend to have at least 'some' spiritual beliefs. I myself can't bring myself to believe in such things, there's just nothing clear cut observable or able to be tested that can prove or disprove it, so I have to say I can't bring such a thing into my own beliefs. The few who say their Otherkin is physiological still interest me, as I'm not 100% what is meant by this. On the whole it seems to share a portion of the structure that some trans* persons go through. A person is trans when their brain structure is saying one thing that does not coincide with their physical body, though unlike otherkin, there are tests and a fair amount of linkage to how this occurs during development. I am trans myself, but for me, I would not put my otherkin experiences and beliefs alongside my trans experiences. When I found out I was what society calls 'trans', my experiences were very 'core'. I knew 100% that I was not the gender label I had been given at birth, any attempts at trying to reassociate to it would just be met with a very loud 'no' internally. Being addressed as such would cause great depression, anger, outbursts and more. My gender however is somewhat fluid, so I had moments of doubting I was trans simply because now and then it would change to become more feminine, but not female. These experiences resonate with me incredibly strongly, there is no debate, no question, it's as fact as it is that I have hair on my head. In comparison, when I found out about Otherkin I was incredibly sceptical. It's not possible for animal DNA to get forced into developing babies; humans do not carry the gene structure to be able to mess up and program the child's brain to be like that of an entire other species, it's impossible. It was also not a clear cut 'Yes this is what I am' like with my trans experience. It was something a lot more gradual, like I was becoming aware of something that was hidden from me. My experiences defy every rule I've had about following science to a T, it's broken me from a thought structure I never thought I'd leave. There is however one similarity between them. I discovered I was trans when I hit puberty, which is what brought the concept of gender to the forefront of my mind. Also how I discovered my otherkin-ness was the result of my mind going through a lot of changes due to mental stress, which brought it to my attention. In this way, it's actually very similar, if not identical. I became aware of things related to the changes I was going through. ​ What I Know This segment is mostly on the information I received about my connection to my kintype. As previously mentioned in previous posts, I essentially broke a wall to this information, it was created in a time of great mental stress, however what I was going through does not lineup to any mental illness, which is enough to allow me to lend an ear to what I was told. Essentially, I became aware of a voice, who always had the answers. Everything they've said has always been correct, and they were the one who told me my kintype. At the moment I'm starting to doubt them, but I haven't heard from them for a while, so I suppose that's natural. Basically, I am being used as a vessel of information gathering. When I die however, I'm no longer sure of the result. I will either A. Be absorbed in my entirety back into the full conciousness, however this will in essence still erase who I am now as I will have a whole other mentality again and thus behave as I once did, just with more information or B. Have them essentially 'read' the information off of me and then discard the human element of me back into the void of death. A rather more bleak result, but understandable. Then of course there's C. I'm not connected at all and I'm crazy and just die like everyone else. Which to me actually sounds nicer than B, as B would essentially mean I am being overlooked, but not cared for, as I hold no value to them. I must apologise though, I keep using 'them'. You see I am essentially split into many different parts, I say this with unyielding certainty. The main one is overlooking and communicating to 'me', my human mind. It's quite possible they're also learning through many other humans other than me, but I've had no information about such. They also have influenced my interactions and events happening around me. In other words, I am controlling myself and my own surroundings. The things that happen around me are decided by myself, however my reactions here on Earth to them is generally human, as that's how I am physically made up. Here's an example. Imagine you're walking down a street and you see a penny on the ground, you're now presented with the choice to either pick it up, or leave it alone. This is what in essence the 'me' still in their original form is giving me to see how I will react to specific events. Of course this doesn't apply to every event, but most of the major ones are structured by them. Another example is if you're playing the sims and set their house on fire and then sit back and watch them respond. You may not care about the sim, even if to them you have a very strong valuable connection to their own life, being able to effect it so much, but you are using them to gather information about how they act. This is a sensation I've had for a very long time, way way before I even became aware of Otherkin and started questioning myself. ​ Applying Science Now, if there are those who don't know much about my kintype I'd direct you to my other posts I've already made about such, here and here as well as reading over my profile. Unlike most other kintypes, mine does lean quite heavily on scientific theories and information about the universe around us, which I shall now get into. A quick message before I do though; I am not claiming that these are 'proof' of my identity or anything of the sort, I am simply sharing information that for me grounds my beliefs in a way that I feel justifies my beliefs to myself. An example being that if you have shifts where your mind changes to fit an animal, this would be your way of justifying your belief you are that animal. Sacred geometry Leonardo Fibonacci was an Italian mathematician who popularized the decimal system. He is also known for the Fibonacci Series, a numerical series found frequently in the natural world. The Fibonacci Sequence is generated by adding the previous two numbers in the list together to form the next and so on (1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55…). Divide any number in the Fibonacci Sequence by the one before it, for example 55/34, or 21/13, and the answer is always close to 1.61803. This is known as the Golden Ratio (Sectio Divina). One of the most profound and significant activities encompassed within Sacred Geometry and lLght Source is the 'Golden Mean Spiral’, derived by using the 'Golden Ratio’. Many forms observed in nature can be related to geometry (for sound reasons of resource optimization). For example, the chambered nautilus grows at a constant rate and so its shell forms a logarithmic spiral to accommodate that growth without changing shape. Also, honeybees construct hexagonal cells to hold their honey. These and other correspondences are seen by believers in sacred geometry to be further proof of the cosmic significance of geometric forms. Some scientists see such phenomena as the logical outcome of natural principles, however an experiment done at the UK.’s Oxford University, University of Bristol, and Rutherford Appleton Laboratory, and Germany’s Helmholtz-Zentrum Berlin for Materials and Energy have discovered this pattern on a nanoscale. Researchers examined chains of linked magnetic cobalt niobate (CoNb2O6) particles only one particle wide to investigate the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. They applied a magnetic field at right angles to an aligned spin of the magnetic chains to introduce more quantum uncertainty. Following the changes in field direction, these small magnets started to magnetically resonate. Neutrons were fired at the cobalt niobate particles to detect the resonant notes. “We found a series (scale) of resonant notes: The first two notes show a perfect relationship with each other. Their frequencies (pitch) are in the ratio of 1.618 … which is the golden ratio famous from art and architecture,” Whatever the case, geometry can be seen everywhere within our reality. Our Reality is structured in patterns, this is reflected though Nature in the form of Geometry. Geometry is the very basis of our Reality in this sense, hence we live in a coherent world possibly effected by relatively unknown laws. Frequency & the Law of Vibration In the year 1905, Albert Einstein proved that we can break matter down into smaller components and that, when we do, we move beyond the material realm and into a realm in which everything is energy. This is the Law of Vibration, a law of nature that states that ‘nothing rests; everything moves; every-thing vibrates.’ The lower the vibration, the slower the vibration; the higher the vibration the faster the vibration. The difference between the manifestations of the physical, mental and emotional result simply from different levels of vibrating energy, or frequencies. So, while the feelings of fear, grief and despair vibrate at a very low frequency, the feelings of love, joy and gratitude vibrate much quicker. The most common unit of measure for frequency is the Hertz, which is one vibrational cycle per second. So a frequency of 460 Hz means that there are 460 cycles of vibration occurring every single second. At the very leading edge of biophysics today, scientists are recognizing that the molecules in our bodies are actually controlled by these frequencies. In 1974, Dr. Colin W.F. McClare, Ph.D, an Oxford University Bio-Physicist, discovered that frequencies of vibrating energy are roughly one-hundred times more efficient in relaying information within a biological system than physical signals, such as hormones, neurotransmitters and other growth factors. Although most frequencies exist outside of our normal range of perception, all can be perceived as both colors and sounds. There are seven colors in a rainbow and seven notes in the musical scale. So the color blue is also heard as the musical key of D, which vibrates at 587 Hz. But what is most interesting is that, if a frequency is vibrating fast enough, it’s emitted as a color of Light. If we wanted to convert sound to Light, we would simply raise its frequency forty octaves. This results in a vibration in the trillions of cycles per second. So, if a pianist could press a key way above the eighty-eight keys that exist on a piano, that key would produce Light. They could create a chord of Light in the same way they can create a chord of sound. And it would be seen as colors of Light because it would be moving at the speed of Light. The philosophical and scientific basis for this Law of Vibration can be found in quantum physics and in Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. Energy is related to matter and the speed of Light. This is Einstein’s famous E = mc2 equation. When two frequenciesare brought together, the lower will always rise to meet the higher. This is the principle of resonance. So, when a piano is tuned, a tuning fork is struck, and then brought close to the piano string that carries that same musical tone. The string then raises its vibration automatically and attunes itself to the same rate at which the fork is vibrating. Using this principal of resonance, we can actually increase the speed at which the molecules in our bodies vibrate. And the higher our consciousness is raised, the closer to energy we become. ​Conclusion This is a personal conclusion based on these pieces of information and my own experiences. Theoretically, imagine if you will; a lifeform that has evolved in such a way that it can freely move between all forms of light and matter. I'm also going to say it's most likely in some way connected to the 5th dimension, be it having evolved there or what as it's abilities to be able to shift so easily would make more sense if developed in a dimension of constant movement. An example would be if a 3D character interacted with a 2D one, they'd be able to move in ways the 2D person would not be able to, or even be able to perceive. The ways the 3D person would interact could very much seem to be 'magic' as it's not observable for them. In this sense, a creature from a higher dimension interacting with this one can logically do things that would be 'otherworldly' and only comprehensible through very complex mathematics, if even that. However, this isn't a pass for the theory, the behaviour and result (me) still needs stronger ties to form a more water proof theory. Considering this creature is around in this dimension, well, why would it come here? Well, lets get down a few facts first. To be able to constantly change shape and form, one needs a lot of energy to do so, inconceivable amounts of energy in fact. For a lifeform to have developed something like this it would need to be self sustaining in a way that means it either does not ever run out of energy, or it takes energy from other sources such as stars, supernovas or dark energy; this of course excluding any possibilities from their own dimension. This would in essence, make them immortal. I can't get into how they came to be in the first place, but the only thing I could come up with is that it was formed during a Big Bang like event in their own dimension. Really I can't know something like that, and I'll never claim to have a solid theory in this area. Back to the question, why here? But to which I'd say, why not? If you can freely travel around space and have little to no concept of the flow of time, one would assume that you may want something to do while exploring this dimension. A different perspective, a way to experience 'living' in a way they're unfamiliar with. They can see the rules that bind this plane, and want to be able to experience what it's like to be bound by them. Essentially, if you play a game with the cheats on all the time, it gets boring, you'll want to make challenges for yourself, limit yourself intentionally to see what happens. I will say this is a human notion, but unfortunately they haven't given me any better logic for this element. Okay, so there's no way to prove it's actually out there, but theoretically, it's existence is possible. It is possible to change between light and sound. There are patterns in everything around us that could act as a form of recipe to follow when changing between other forms. The universe is also incredibly vast, allowing for many different lifeforms to evolve. We also know very little about other dimensions and how they might work. All of this isn't evidence towards it, but essentially it shows that there's not anything dismissing it through the information we do have. This combined with unexplainable experiences with voices, information that's so soundly structured the second I'm given it and hasn't had a single hic-up in attempting to decompile it, when I have deconstructed many crazy ideas and theories before is so far giving me logic enough to give it the benefit of the doubt. Until I get more information from this other 'me' or find a hole in the theory I have the belief I am connected to this being or if I am it, if but a shard.