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As I was listening to some music about three days ago I experienced an interesting occurrence. I felt an unusually strong mental and physical shift, which caught me quite of guard especially as it was accompanied by what is perhaps best described as a vision, or perhaps a hazy memory. I was in a small village lit by lantern light with houses made of mud or clay bricks and roofs of thatch. There was music playing as everyone was dancing in the town center. I felt a sense of requirement born of propriety to sit by and more or less observe. But shortly gave up on that and found a barrel of mead which I proceeded to down. I could taste and feel the texture of the oak it was made from but aside from the knowledge that it was honey mead I could not really say for sure what the drink tasted like. From there in a slight haze I asked a girl there to dance with me, which turned out be somewhat awkward as a roughly 15 foot dragon trying to dance among a number of less intoxicated humans. From there I remember feeling moved by the music and awkwardness to to try dancing in the sky. That particular endeavor ended badly as I managed to get a whole 10 or so feet off the ground before crashing back to earth. Then a brief moment of blackness before I saw mud and trees devoid of leaves the smell of blood filled my nostrils as I doggedly moved across a battlefield, and with that the moment ended. This threw me for a bit of a loop, especially as my more conscious mind wanted to do things, only to be contradicted by "it didn't happen that way". I had more or less been operating under the assumption that my feelings of being a dragon were entirely psychological with little or no spiritual influence. However after that I am not so sure, it seemed to similar to a memory to be fully dismissed as just a fantasy or dream, but still tinged with a sense of not being entirely real. I am still unsure what exactly to make of it. Later that evening I sought the counsel of my spirit guide regarding the matter. From that all I received was the cryptic words "Know thyself", followed by a vision of myself as a dragoness pacing a clifftop for a while before leaping into the air in search of food and a mate. It was more vivid than the previous glimpse I received; I could feel the stones under my claws and tail as i moved, the hunger that pushed me to hunt, the burning desire for chicks that led me to seek a mate, and finally the rush of air as it played over my scales. This leaves me wondering if in fact it was a memory from a past life, or if it was something else all together. Though I lean rather strongly towards it being a memory I obviously can't say for sure, and wonder if I will encounter more experiences similar to that which may provide some context and clarify the situation. Either way I thought I would share as regardless of what exactly it was, it was interesting to say the least.
Mmh, so... not been feeling too great lately, but I'm okay right now. May as well do this while I'm feeling up to it! I mentioned in the daily 'kin thought thread that I was kinda tentatively questioning having another theriotype. The posts got eaten by that database error the other day, but I was meaning to make a blog post about it anyway! Just gonna note down the details, the whats and whys. I'm questioning that I might be an amur leopard therian. Most likely a suntherian or contherian, same as my wolf 'type. I came to that particular (sub)species after doing a bit of research on animals that match what I've experienced. Leopards in general match up pretty well, and amurs - so far - seem to work perfectly. No other felines have the same feeling of familiarity, nor do any other subspecies of leopard. But I only did some quick, general research; I plan on doing some more digging when I'm feeling a bit better. As for why I'm questioning, it's not a particular situation or experience I've had - it's just a lot of little things that I never really noticed before, but put together are enough to make me wonder. These are "quirks" I've had as long as any other oddities related to my kintypes. In fact, most of them I just blamed on my other two kintypes, consciously or subconsciously. The things that make me question are: The instinct to make feline vocalisations, especially hisses. Previously I blamed that on my former dragon "kintype", then on my spirit kintype, and then just kinda started to think of it as me being strange. Alone, I certainly wouldn't attach any deeper meaning to it. An instinctual familiarity and nostalgia for feline communication. This is something I only consciously noticed very recently. I was playing a video game, and sort of subconsciously started translating the characters' moods/behaviours into the feline equivalent. Thought it was a wolf thing at first, until I remembered that wolves don't flick their tails when they're annoyed, but rather when they're existed or alert. That's not the only time it's happened, but it's the first time I stopped and thought "hey, that's weird". Familiarity towards a leopard-esque body type. The main reason I'm pretty sure I'm not any other kind of feline is because their legs are too long, and their bodies are too slender. Looking at leopards, and reading a description of their defining characteristics, something about their appearance feels "right" to me. I looked at jaguars too, but their heads seem too broad. Leopards have very low, heavily built bodies and short legs, something which I've felt a resonance with for a long time. I used to think it was something to do with my spirit kintype's chosen form, but it doesn't match up well when I actually think about it. Natural/involuntary phantom shifts. Especially the tail and, to a lesser extent, the ears. I can sometimes feel my "tail" flicking when I'm annoyed, usually alongside some wolfish phantom shifts. Feline phantom shifts also account pretty well for the short-snouted head shifts I get sometimes (I previously pinned them on my other kintypes interacting oddly with the physical anatomy of my face). General affinity for feline shapeshifters/werecats/etc. Again, alone I'd just ignore this, but along with everything else it starts to paint a bigger picture. Now don't get me wrong, I like all kinds of shapeshifting in fiction (just part of being species dysphoric, I guess) but there's something different when it comes to leopards. I've even had a couple of OCs in the past that have been wereleopards, and one that I've had for years is a leopard therian. I expressed both of my other kintypes through characters before I came to accept/understand those parts of myself. This could be the same. Or it could just be a coincidence. I am just questioning, after all. I know it's not a cameo because my cameos are short but intense. I think I described them as being "a bright flame that burns out quickly", which is pretty much accurate. Whereas the leopard thing has been going on for years, and it's so mild that I've only just picked up on it. Wishful thinking can be ruled out too, because I really, really don't want another kintype, and definitely not something as cliche as a big cat. I'd much rather be something weird and obscure, but... nope. Much as I'd like to be a pine marten or a scorpion, I know I'm not. I wouldn't choose to be a leopard, but I can't say I'm not one with as much certainty. So... yep. That's everything I can think to write off the top of my head. Here we go again...
For a little while now I've been noticing something...different. I've been feeling different, particularly in terms of my otherkin identity. I'm questioning the idea of either having a possible second kintype, or if my kintype isn't exactly what I thought it was. I'm still in the early stages, and for all I know, this could just lead me nowhere. So far my research has come from recent changes in phantom shifts. I've been having ph-shifts of horns (which weren't there before). I still feel wings, although for some reason I feel more "in-touch" with them, let's say, than before. Like my desire to use them and fly is stronger now than before. I still feel a tail and pointed ears as well. As for what kintype I am questioning, with this evidence, I feel as though it could be something draconic. I've always felt a strong sense of something like stability or family towards dragons, but I'd pinned myself down as dragon-hearted. Now I'm not so sure. I still feel demonic though, that hasn't faltered. I believe that my soul is demonic in nature. So perhaps this possible new kintype is some sort of...demonic dragon? Now, as I've said, I'm still in the early stages of this, and I don't have much evidence. And, of course, I'm entirely open the the possibility that the shifts are just cameo shifts, and nothing to be concerned about. But if this continues, and I find new evidence, I'll be updating my blog with it.
Hello, My name is Kaden. I'm demon kin (as far as I know) and I am trying to figure out a few things. I have memories of places that don't have any relation to anything Demon kin like, so i'm beginning to think that maybe i'm something else, not demon. I remember a great plain of grey-blue grass, swaying in the wind. giant floating stones glowing blue between their cracks lighting up the grassy area in the dark. the stars overhead are uncountable. and a single orangey moon watches overhead. I know I was with someone, I just don't know who. or even where I was. I am hoping I can figure it all out in time.