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First, I want to thank those who have commented on my prior entries, albeit without unnecessarily pinging them: Kergulen, Shezep and Opossumblossum. Thank you for your insights and willingness to read and respond to the incoherent ramblings of a random user. As for those who have read and not responded for reasons of their own, thank you for taking the time to give them a look. While I only have the view counter to go by and I realize several are from myself or those mentioned above, I appreciate it never the less. Now, for the actual subject of this particular entry, following closely on the heels of my vent that was apparently posted not too long ago. It feels like weeks have come and gone since I wrote it, but the publish date does not lie; even if my mind is trying to convince itself otherwise. Ever since I wrote that entry and got everything off of my chest, then proceeded to look at the new possibilities and almost immediately rule out one of them, I find I have become... content. This is not due to being able to eliminate one of the possible kintypes I had been considering, but from a personal realization and the actualization of the kintype through an artist I fell in love with. To explain, I do not experience phantom limbs (as far as I am aware) and instead I go off a variety of other signals and 'signs'. One of the ways I help myself understand whether or not something may be close or completely off is by having an artist work with me in bringing this possibility to life through a visual medium. However, instead of seeking them out and commissioning someone I know would do the idea 'justice' because they are comfortable with the particular subject, I post wanted threads and see who it attracts. Every time I have done this, the right person has always shown up eventually (a reminder for when I feel deeply impatient) and not once has an artist I have worked with previously responded to the new one. Instead that only seems to occur with my more generalized threads, for when I am seeking original character work as opposed to something on this level. I do not know if there is a particular term for going about it this way or if it may be frowned upon, but I find it has helped me a great deal throughout the years and I am ever grateful to the artists who have worked with me. Never the less, the reason I find myself posting about this is not only due to the prior entries, but the fact that I felt such a sudden... change in my overall demeanor and thoughts. I no longer feel this positively frantic need to try and figure out my kintype, something that has been plaguing me for longer than I care to admit. Even when I identified (I may still?) as a machine entity, I still felt that fiery desire burning within me; albeit to a vastly lesser extent than it had been before. As the title says, I am at ease and I am at the most calm I have been in such an incredibly long time. Even my family has taken notice and, oddly enough, my baby boy cat Thanatos. Then again, I have an incredibly intuitive and empathetic family, so any changes in me are noticed immediately. Though they have also noted how... I suppose 'drastic' this one is, especially compared to what is considered normal for me to go through. While I am exceedingly pleased and quite ecstatic with these developments, I do feel incredibly shy with regards to discussing or even mentioning what exactly my identity is. To be quite frank I have never quite been at ease with people who have this particular identification or 'label', given what I have seen from the wider community. However, I also understand I should never judge an entire group and instead make informed decisions based on the actions of the person. Granted it still makes me incredibly hypocritical to feel uneasy, given my prior complaints and commentary with regards to how people view those with a machine identity as a group; but I suppose that is one of the more unfortunate facets of human thought. Regardless, I am quite content and I will be happily looking into all of the new avenues which have opened to me. I will also be deeply considering my machine identity and whether or not it is as I had believed or if it is a heart type. Of course, looking at my identity as it stands now, it makes complete sense as to why I view machines as I do and why I possibly mistook it as being who I was. Granted this is not an affirmation for or against it, just a brief observation on one of several possibilities now on the table. This endeavor is going to be both exhilarating and terrifying for the sheer scope it now encompasses...