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Been away from the 'kin community as a whole for almost a month now. My phantom wings have never felt more real now that I've taken this time to just reflect and feel and think on things. So I'm pretty confident that these are true shifts of phantom limbs and flight urges rather than just cameos or my imagination. And lately I've been feeling less and less sure of my voidkin--those void mental shifts may have been cameos. I feel closer connected to nature spirits like nymphs--forest guardians--than just pure nothingness. Those void-y feelings could have just been me feeling close to the dark woods I believe my angel/spiritkin thrived in. --- The other night I experienced a weird dream shift. I dreamed I was flying on white(?) wings and playing guitar (or some other stringed instrument) at the same time. I hovered by a burning building and played a soft song in order to calm the panicked humans gathering around the blaze. Then another winged creature (maybe humanoid? I can't remember) flew up to me and told me it wasn't appropriate to play music during a disaster. I didn't say anything, but I remember thinking how I wasn't trying to be the center of attention; i was just trying to help. I was annoyed, so I flew away, still playing my guitar as I did. The last thing I remember was vanishing into the darkness of an alleyway. It's because of this dream and many others involving me having wings that I've begun questioning if I'm not voidkin after all, and perhaps kin of something else with wings instead. Angelkin comes to mind, but the words "spirit" or "fairy" resonate with me more. I get more of a "that's me!" feeling from those words than from the word "angel". --- I'm also questioning being fictionkin of either Sam or Castiel from the show Supernatural, although I'm more leaning towards Castiel for a few reasons. One of them is that I feel more like "myself" when I cosplay as Castiel than when I wear plaid and jeans like Sam. Another is that I feel more attracted to Sam the way another person would be attracted to him (instead of "recognizing" him as myself). And a third reason is that I've had many dreams where I'm interacting with Sam as Cas. There're a few more signs I think point to it, but these're the biggest ones for me. --- So all in all: I feel I might not be truly voidkin after all, and that I might be kin of some sort guardian spirit instead. That would mean my connection to angels would be more than just a psychological kin feeling. And separately, I've started questioning being kin of Castiel from Supernatural. I've got a longer road ahead of me than I originally figured. ^^;
I had a weird feeling on the sides of my neck as if I had eyes there. I tried to "blink" them but only got the two eyes on the right to listen. For the past hour I focused on the feeling as I ddi my homework, and from what I can tell I have two phantom eyes on the right side of my neck and one on the left. They seem to be slightly bigger than my physical eyes. Will keep track of this feeling for the next few weeks and see where it takes me. It's not any of my alters; I know this for sure. The feeling started after I spent some time browsing #voidkin on tumblr.