12amCritter
New member
- Bones
- 🦴0.00BN
Sometimes I don't realize how confident I am with myself. When I think about back then, I never showed to the public (conversations with friends) of who I am or what I'm interested in. I had this huge fear living inside of my mind, but now (since few years back actually), I don't care what others think. They can't handle who I am? So be it, I don't care. That's not going to stop me from covering it up. People ask questions of why I identify as this or that, I tell them. If anyone asked anything about me 90% I will tell them. Maybe I have grown too careless, tired of pretending something I'm not.
Being so open about myself, I'm alone all the time. I'm constantly talked behind my back and became the favorite "punching bag" among the people I know in person. I receive so much negativity everywhere and it's just fueling me to be myself. Reading the negativity people say about me is honestly entertaining at this point.
But there are times where I ask myself: is this really worth it? Would it be worth it pretending something you're not and having a couple of good friends?
I'm not solitary because of anxiety or not wanting to talk to people. Elementary is when I first realized depending on people is only going to make a person weak. I had that type of mindset ever since, and made me into a person I am today, both good and bad. The good part is I have learned to work out things myself, not giving up on something just because I couldn't do it in several tries. The bad part, I don't and afraid to ask for help, thinking I'll look stupid if I do. But often times I figure things out anyways.
Now, in college, trying to get myself together, trying to adapt to a family that doesn't think mental health is important, trying to ignore a brother who annoys me constantly every minute everyday...is it worth it being myself? Somethings I do really want that one persons who wouldn't turn me down. Though it has been so long, too long, since I decided to make friends. I don't have a problem or any difficulty making friends, it's the person I try to be friends that won't see me as a normal person. Not like I want to look/be like everyone else.
That's all I have to say for now. Just an update with myself, I'm still around here. I hope everyone is having a good day.
Being so open about myself, I'm alone all the time. I'm constantly talked behind my back and became the favorite "punching bag" among the people I know in person. I receive so much negativity everywhere and it's just fueling me to be myself. Reading the negativity people say about me is honestly entertaining at this point.
But there are times where I ask myself: is this really worth it? Would it be worth it pretending something you're not and having a couple of good friends?
I'm not solitary because of anxiety or not wanting to talk to people. Elementary is when I first realized depending on people is only going to make a person weak. I had that type of mindset ever since, and made me into a person I am today, both good and bad. The good part is I have learned to work out things myself, not giving up on something just because I couldn't do it in several tries. The bad part, I don't and afraid to ask for help, thinking I'll look stupid if I do. But often times I figure things out anyways.
Now, in college, trying to get myself together, trying to adapt to a family that doesn't think mental health is important, trying to ignore a brother who annoys me constantly every minute everyday...is it worth it being myself? Somethings I do really want that one persons who wouldn't turn me down. Though it has been so long, too long, since I decided to make friends. I don't have a problem or any difficulty making friends, it's the person I try to be friends that won't see me as a normal person. Not like I want to look/be like everyone else.
That's all I have to say for now. Just an update with myself, I'm still around here. I hope everyone is having a good day.