Confidence | Kinmunity: Otherkin Community

Confidence

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Elvode, Nov 23, 2015.

  1. Elvode

    Elvode Wyrmling

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    I spend a lot of time on youtube watching videos, most of my day actually, I stumbled upon this channel that was really funny, they said some pretty smart things, I learned a lot about people in general, I could totally relate to some topics and they made me understand some stuff.
    I was bullied a lot in the past which lead to depression which is still with me to this day, I am considered a danger for my own safety but still I'm going hardcore and refuse medication, after watching the videos on this channel I started thinking about what people said to me in the past, what did they joke about and so on.
    I still suffer occasional comments and jokes about my body from people, I just laugh it off in their presence but in reality, I search for a corner somewhere to cry my eyes out. It never even crossed my mind not even once to tell these people "you know what, that hurt me a lot." perhaps because I lack the confidence..
    So I was thinking if I boost my confidence to become like indestructible and accept my body the way it is, my depression perhaps will be a lot better since lack of confidence is the major issue in my depression and I will be able to start dating again.
    If you got any tips and tricks that you know boost confidence, hit me with it all! :earwolf:
    If you got any thoughts you want to share, I would like to read it.


    Realizing all of this now is making me feel old.. I've been in denial for a very long time. ><
     
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  2. Nyht Myst

    Nyht Myst The Element System
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    I think a lot of us, myself included, could us some help with confidence boosting; I had read that some people will take a moment out of their daily routine to look at themselves in the mirror and name one thing they like about themselves for that day, and if you can't find anything you like then ask a friend to name something.
     
  3. Elvode

    Elvode Wyrmling

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    I think that is a very good idea, a teacher I had told us that he used to have super bad confidence, everyday he started looking at himself in the mirror and saying stuff like "wow what a badass!" or like "wow your so hot!" so I think it works in the long run since when you tell yourself something a lot you will start to believe it. :earwolf:
     
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  4. Cayto Ikooko Kan

    Cayto Ikooko Kan Otherworldly Wolf-Man
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    I had always been a lean fit atheltic body type since I was very young, then in 8th grade I suddenly gained weight despite being very active and this lasted till sophmore year in highschool. I've been back to my atheltic build since, but Needless to say I did experience getting made fun off for being chubby during that time, even comments form my own family members and close friends. It was a pretty hard time emotionally and I was already a sensitive kid back then. Thankfully for me I had a spiritual upbringing and was taught something valuable. Now, this will sound rather odd no doubt, even perhaps gushy, but this did wonders for me back then.

    My grandmother and dad always talked about self love and accepting your body. There's a...I guess you could call it a meditation that my dad told me do. You literally lay down, close your eyes and "send" every bodypart love. You consciously generate feelings of gratitude and love for each part of your body and think of reasons why. It could even be a reason such as "I love my toes because they allow me to stand" or whatever. It doesn't have to just be appearance related. Don't love how your eyes look? Well then love that they can see! That kind of thing. You start to notice a change in your attitude and self image pretty fast and your body my even feel like a huge load was taken off. You start to feel a sense of personal power. That's how it was for me. Eventually it was like I woke up and I was back to my old body type. Now, no one would ever imagine I was overweight at any point in my life. Granted I worked out of course, but I doubt I would have stayed active if I had been overcome by the negativity. And because of that practice now I just have a naturally greater level confidence in myself.

    To give more detail I would do this before bed or upon waking up. When you wake up is best because then you start off your day with that attitude of love for yourself, but sometimes I wouldn't have enough time so I always did before bed. Do for as long as you want for as many parts of yourself that you can think of. Of course the longer the better. Just focus on that part and really try to send yourself some love. You deserve it. People may make fun but at the end of the day we are the hardest on ourselves and we need to cut ourselves some slack and give ourselves some credit lol. Anyway I hope this can help you at least some.
     
    #4 Cayto Ikooko Kan, Nov 23, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 23, 2015
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  5. St Claire

    St Claire Void Walker

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    I know this feeling well. I was officially diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was 16, but I still keep my problems and feelings to myself because it seems like other people always have bigger problems.

    When I was a kid I was always teased about my hair. I have very curly hair, and I was the only white girl in my school (possibly even the whole town) with hair like that. My mum tried her hardest to make me love my hair, always telling me it was beautiful and special, but her words were buried by those of my peers.

    Fast forward to now, and I constantly have people telling me that I must have lots of confidence or that they admire my confidence. I laugh at them, because inside my own head I'm not confident at all. So why do these people perceive me as being confident?

    I think one reason is my hairstyle. Earlier this year I had almost all of my hair shaved off into a masculine style undercut. People think this must have taken a lot of confidence, but really I just saw a pic of that style online and decided I wanted it. Another reason is the way I carry myself. Even though I'm very shy and unsure of myself I always stand straight. Because of my hair, and the fact that I was always the tallest person in class, I've always had people staring at me. My parents would say it's because I'm stunning to look at, and I agree but not in the same way they mean it lol. So now I think, fine, if they want to stare let them stare. I have actually stared people down in the past (my "resting ***** face" was legendary in my high school).

    As for the mirror thing, I do that. It's not like I'm going out of my way to say positive things about myself, but I do enjoy looking at myself and listing things that I like about my appearance. I will also usually list one thing that I would like to improve (improve, not change. When it comes to bodies improvement is possible, change is not). For example, I will think "I really love the chub on my belly, but I wouldn't mind building a bit more muscle on my arms". I think recognising and accepting parts of you body you are unhappy with is important.

    In conclusion, I don't know if it is possible to gain confidence, but from my experience appearing confident to others is 10% actual confidence and 90% faking it until you make it.
     
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  6. AppyHeart

    AppyHeart Equus Genus

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    You know, it's odd.
    I view myself as a very introverted horse who would much rather avoid the pressure of going against someone else.
    In most cases it is true.
    However, that is just how I feel.
    For you, do what I do with the other 85% of my personality and that is LOVE YOURSELF!!!
    Nothing SCREAMS louder in confidence then how you view yourself and honestly that is ALL that should matter. The rest can go suck an egg!....Well I like birds so maybe they can suck something else--the point is--Ahem!!-- That one is never going to gain the confidence unless they have the confidence in themselves first.
    Be quirk if you are, be silly, be ODD, a weirdo~~!! Do what makes you smile and shortly you'll find people around you will take interest and see that you KNOW you are special just as everyone else is but you can flaunt it with a spring in yourself because honey, You're worth it!!
    ;) <3 I was abused as a kid and was bullied for the way I ran but while I was upset and outcast, I at least know now they were the ones who were taking things out on me for fun or for problems of their own, so it's their loss for loosing a good loyal person they never gave the chance to meet. Their loss honey. Their loss.
    <3 You'll gain it soon <3
     
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  7. Silver Winter

    Silver Winter Burned in Ice, Rises from the Ashes
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    I can relate a lot to what you were and are going through. I also was teased and developed depression because of it along with other things. I've been actively finding ways to help myself feel better since none of the medications I've tried really do a ton. So far, though, what I've found helps me the most is being kind.
    I know that sounds really cheesy and all but it really does. I was always kind of rude to people and, I'll admit, I bullied some people myself. However, once I started to be a lot nicer and put a conscious effort into being kind to others, listening and helping people, and preaching love and understanding, I started to learn a lot about myself and developed really strong self confidence. It sounds really clique, I know, but it really does wonders.
     
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  8. Quxyun

    Quxyun Floppy floppy noodle dragon of the sea
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    Confidence is a tricky thing, but it isn't unattainable. I find that reminding myself of three good things that I have done for other people around me can help with that. I helped myself out of my depressive episodes a few years back by thinking of all the people that I have brought a smile or a laugh to. I love to make other people happy, I think that it is because I have a hard time being happy myself. But if I can be a light for a person then that idea is a light for me. I'm weird like that.
    Depression is tricky because you know that people care, it's just that it feel like they don't. You know things will get better, they just feel like they won't. Reach out to other people, the people that you care about or the people you know care about you, it doesn't make you a bad person to want help. More than likely, you will get a better outcome from doing that then festering in your pit of self-created misery.
     
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  9. Elvode

    Elvode Wyrmling

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    Thanks guys for your advice! I'm not really the best person at looking confident, 99% of the times I'm outside I look very unsure and worried, unless my dog is with me, he makes me shine of happiness and confidence, I definitely need some practice without him, but I also feel safer with him and unsafe without him.
     
  10. Magic

    Magic Netflix-blob
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    Alongside the mirror ideas, every morning, you can write one good thing down and put it in a jar? :) I know you can also write down things you hate in a journal, then burn it.
     
  11. Elvode

    Elvode Wyrmling

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    Thanks! I actually have a jar filled with water, I didn't know what to do with it, I'm just going to use it as a positive note jar! :D
     
  12. Dinocanid

    Dinocanid Living matryoshka doll
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    I have some confidence problems, mostly related to my art and how I'm never satisfied with it. It always needs to be better and when it isn't, it depresses the heck out of me lol. What helps me is hearing someone else's opinion since it makes me realize that my art isn't as bad as i think it is. It helps you're confidence if you aren't so hard on yourself, even if I'm not good at doing that ^-^;