I Stand Alone

[shadowqueenofemoron]

Lately I have felt after several toxic experiences online in the last year that I ought to just be alone. There have been some people who have been kind to me (very few) and I, truthfully, don't want to try anymore. I just want to be left alone. My trust level has been broken on some level. I realize that it will take my mate to truly trust fully again. Time and again I have tried to open myself up to others, to be who I am, and to be honest. I feel no need to hide myself. I believe that, out there, somewhere my partner is waiting for me. I will leave it at that for now. I feel no need to search any longer and I find no point in it. I will simply remain open enough that I can defend myself if need be. I, truly, feel the need to simply say that I am not ready to be friends with anyone outside of a passing discussion. I must learn to be alone from now on because I know that I cannot truly connect with others on a level that they can comprehend me at. I tire of explaining that I am otherkin to many, so, for now, I will back off and let people live their own lives. I feel no need to interfere and help unless I am asked. Truly, I hope that someday soon I will simply be guided to a better place for me in this life. 

 

[Shezep]

There is a middle road for this rather than all or nothing. I've left pretty much all of the major social media platforms because I'm just tired of dealing with people's bull, but I've also got a Discord server on the side with a few people I've met over the years who I get along with. Look around for that core group of friends and make an effort to keep them around. If you're in a group, don't judge the whole group as one single entity. Take note of which people give you a hard time and which people are nice to you. They're not all the same. 

It's true even friends can have falling outs, but don't give up completely. Instead of having a hundred "friends" it's better to find just a few real friends. Not everyone is going to be inner circle material, and the inner circle might change as the years go by. Finding those few can take some time, so don't give up on it too soon. Also, don't pin everything on a mate. Expecting them to be your primary source of happiness is too much pressure to put on one person, no matter who they are. 

If you're feeling stressed and just need a break for awhile, that's fine too. Take the time to learn how to care for and love yourself. Develop your own center so you'll be more ready to deal with things next time. 

 

[shadowqueenofemoron]

I have tried many, many times now. I have a few close friends. I don't need a break. I need a permanent vacation and a hiatus. Once I go back to work and my life resumes it's normal pace I will go my own way. I am not interested in people anymore. I must support myself from here on out. I will find my own pathway one day, somehow, and I will figure out why I incarnated here to begin with. The internet is no longer a comforting and safe place for me. I no longer feel the need to put pressure on others unnecessarily. If I must I will find someone in the professional health field to talk with for a few months or a year. I go my own way now. I have tried this sort of balance before and it hasn't worked for me. I walk alone from now on.  

 

[Wolfwriter]

Thanks for sharing. So... I'm new here. What are some benefits you get from the forum?