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Need advice regarding my BF and how to tell my mother


Omg. He's the first person I've ever been in a strong relationship with. I've never felt this type of connection to somebody. He's also otherkin and is male androgynous. He has two main kintypes, bear and mutant turtle. Yes the latter like the TMNT. He's 26, I'm 25.

We've been friends for about three years on Facebook, and took things to the next level almost a month ago. He's sweet and one of the best things to happen to me. Earlier today, we PM roleplay-flirted for the first time. But this goes beyond sex.

I don't know how to tell my mom. I came out to her as alienkin years ago and bi as early as last October. She's cool with both.

The only problem is she might have the mentality to say this is something I'm being catfished into, because it involves online. I've known him too long and too legitimately for this to be something where it's a wall I'm talking to! And we have a lot in common! I'm an adult and know right from wrong. There were 3 occasions on FB where I got spam PMs and friend requests, and I blocked or deleted them all.

I'm willing to tell her, but I don't know how or when. 😞

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Astral skydancer
Staff member
Gold Donor
Asexual Pride
Forgive me for being a bit blunt but didn't you give the answer yourself?

I'm an adult and know right from wrong.
That's basically it, I think.. there's no obligatory reason to tell her, is there? I mean, if you feel that telling would be problematic for you or her, it might be more sensible not to. You shouldn't feel bad about it. You may want to wait a little while and further strengthen the relationship until she won't have a reason to suspect you're being catfished. That's totally ok.

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I think you should tell her when you feel it's the right time to. I know that's a little vague for an answer, but it's how I told my own mother when I'd met someone online. In my case, my partner and I had known each other for nearly a year at that point, calling each other almost every night and messaging each other all the time, and we decided to tell my mother on the 6-month anniversary mark, to kinda "prove" that it was worthy of her attention. If the relationship is real to you, then you'll know it, and your mother should respect your decisions. Because you are, as you say, a grown adult. These are your choices. No one can take that away from you. (But since she's cool with you being bi and alienkin, I think she'd probably be okay with this as well.)

Since it seems serious, I'd pick a time where neither of you have anything particularly important or stressful going on. Calmly ask her to listen to what you have to say, then simply be honest. She may need some time to adjust, but if it's this important to you, then I'm sure she'll come around to it eventually.

I wish you the best of luck! 💙



Heya sweet alien ❤️ ahh I love you so very much X3 it is really awesome to see you hear can't believe I just saw this on here I know we have spoken on it I still really hope she calms down and will be more accepting as time goes on but as I say I'm not going anywhere ❤️