please help me explain this....

FoxChi

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I have not had the best weekend.  My parents found out about kinmunity…. I am not sure what to do….  I would rather not get into details because it stresses me out… However, I wanted to know what other people would say about this… 

My mother and father told me that being kin is a mental illness… NOT DISABILITY, illness.  They said it was called, “Clinical lycanthropy.”  Honestly, I do not believe this…. And normally I wouldn’t make a deal about it… however, they are threatening a Mental Hospital trip…

Can someone please help me explain this too them…?  Please...  i do not want to go to a mental hospital!

 
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Effervescent-Daydream

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There is definitely a big difference between the two that it might help to clarify. People with CL typically believe that they are a certain animal physically, and also believe this so strongly that it severely impairs their social life. You know that you are physically in a human body and you continue to function well in human society instead of doing anything "weird" like growling at random people in the grocery store or something. Maybe try to help them understand those distinctions.

Best of luck ❤

 
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bhiurd

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Building on the previous comment:

"Clinical lycanthropy is defined as a rare psychiatric syndrome that involves a delusion that the affected person can physically transform into, has transformed into, or is a non-human animal."

"Otherkinity is when a person identifies as a non-human animal on a non-physical integral, personal level."

Clinical lycanthropy is a delusion based on physical form, while otherkinity is a psychological or spiritual identity and is how you see yourself in non-human form. Otherkinity is perfectly healthy and sensible psychologists and therapists will say for a fact that it's fine, while clinical lycanthropy is a serious delusion that needs psychological care.
I'd explain that to your parents if possible.

 
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Velvet

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Personally I would just describe therianthropy to them as a belief in reincarnation, and and you believe you were a wolf in a past life.

That is not exactly true, and I'm unsure if it matches your personal beliefs or not, but reincarnation is an idea most are familiar with and is generally not too hard to wrap your head around. Of course certain people may have beliefs that clash, but even so, I feel explaining it in this way is easier then trying to get into all the technicalities. Identity is a very complex thing that many people never really explore and so don't understand.

I feel it's best to just stick to plain and simple concepts. If they accept that and show further interest you could begin to explain more in the future if you wish.

 

FoxChi

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There is definitely a big difference between the two that it might help to clarify. People with CL typically believe that they are a certain animal physically, and also believe this so strongly that it severely impairs their social life. You know that you are physically in a human body and you continue to function well in human society instead of doing anything "weird" like growling at random people in the grocery store or something. Maybe try to help them understand those distinctions.

"Clinical lycanthropy is defined as a rare psychiatric syndrome that involves a delusion that the affected person can physically transform into, has transformed into, or is a non-human animal."

"Otherkinity is when a person identifies as a non-human animal on a non-physical integral, personal level."

Clinical lycanthropy is a delusion based on physical form, while otherkinity is a psychological or spiritual identity and is how you see yourself in non-human form. Otherkinity is perfectly healthy and sensible psychologists and therapists will say for a fact that it's fine, while clinical lycanthropy is a serious delusion that needs psychological care.
I'd explain that to your parents if possible.

Personally I would just describe therianthropy to them as a belief in reincarnation, and and you believe you were a wolf in a past life.

That is not exactly true, and I'm unsure if it matches your personal beliefs or not, but reincarnation is an idea most are familiar with and is generally not too hard to wrap your head around. Of course certain people may have beliefs that clash, but even so, I feel explaining it in this way is easier then trying to get into all the technicalities. Identity is a very complex thing that many people never really explore and so don't understand.

I feel it's best to just stick to plain and simple concepts. If they accept that and show further interest you could begin to explain more in the future if you wish.
thank you guys so much.  I will definitely try all of theses ways! I really appreciate it ❤ 

 

elshara

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One approach, say it's a gaming interactive rpg forum. They won't be into the lifestyle so they won't really care if you say it's for entertainment.

But say that it helps build up mental mustles to react to different situations and be more artistic as well. If you think like you are going to survive, then it will help you facing future challenges in life by not giving up at the first sign of a struggle or conflict.

You can also say it helps with anger management. Not that you have it, but that you don't want to develop stress and that it's a coping mechanism or vice for you when you need to unwind.

 
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FoxChi

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@elshara  I would, however, they do not want me to have access to any form of media, where I can communicate to anyone.  And they browsed through kinmunity already, so they know that it is not....  but thank you anyway, i would use it f they did not know, and or that they didn't care that I was on a forum.

 

elshara

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@elshara  I would, however, they do not want me to have access to any form of media, where I can communicate to anyone.  And they browsed through kinmunity already, so they know that it is not....  but thank you anyway, i would use it f they did not know, and or that they didn't care that I was on a forum.
I'm sorry to hear that my forum suggestion was not taken at face value. Sounds like they're just all out abusing you. And if so, you need to get out of there. They're treating you like you don't matter, and that's not cool.

Just curious, how old are you? I know this kind of abuse of the legal system and everything else would go down real well in courts if they did the whole extortionist thing if you were contesting your treatment.

I mean it's not like you're a child? Even if you are, from the age of 13 and onwards, you don't need parental permission to visit sites on the net accept if it's concerning porn then you need to be 18 and over. but that's actually something called the coppa system in America.

So bottom line being, if they don't like what you participate in, tell them to go shove their opinion down their own throats. No need for society to judge and riddicule you for being who you are. This site I'm sure if it came right down to it, if you needed somewhere to stay, someone'd happily come and get you if it was a choice beween your identity and what someone else wishes to dictate.

As for money, well, I read in some of your own posts that you even help them do some shopping and other things. Do what you got to do, and don't look back. Now's not a time to give up on you, it's when you push back against that whole christian attitude and bullying cult like way of life your folks tend to live. In fact I'd bet you 10 dollars that your family is very opinionated in other areas when it comes to sheltering you under their wing and acceptable behavior. I mean they want to judge you and they haven't even come on to talk to us? That's rich coming from them who isn't involved, and even registered schizophrenics have a fighting chance, and they physically are a right mess sometimes. They don't get treated like how that whole do as I say not as I do attitude tends to float around.

So if your parents are treating you like you mean nothing to the universe, I'd recommend you walk away from them and don't look back. I'm sorry if that seems harsh but I wouldn't put up with someone talking back to me like that, but I wouldn't be fighting them either. I'd just be walking away. I mean just by how they talk to you, I'd summize that in their eyes, they could do no wrong. So if they see wrong, they probably feel like they've been or done wrong by proxy. And that unfortunately reflects on you in ways that you don't deserve since you're as sane as anyone in fact more sane than a serial killer. Even they are trusted by their victims before they silently strike, and if the comparison shocks you, well they're striking out at you when you did nothing to harm them. So don't feel like you have to live under a shadow that isn't your own so to speak if you feel that strongly embraced by it, own it.

 

FoxChi

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Just curious, how old are you? I know this kind of abuse of the legal system and everything else would go down real well in courts if they did the whole extortionist thing if you were contesting your treatment.
I am 14... So I cannot move out yet....  And I would have run away a long time ago, but they scare me, and fill me with things about the world that I do not want to necessarily know...  My friend@thatdorkybabycat is offering me to come to their place... but my parents have their ways....  and like I said already, they scare me.   The way they talk is scary... and the way my mother acts is sometimes scary...  They treat my siblings differently then me, and don't get on to them for half the things I get in trouble for.... 

sorry vent moment

but honestly, I have a few years left...  so I guess, I can stay there.... until I am 17 or so...

 

Shezep

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Unless you have a genuine legal case of abuse happening there, that you are willing to go to the courts about, then sticking it out is the best option. You're still a minor, and it would definitely not be our place to encourage a minor to run away.

Four years seems like an eternity at that age, but it really isn't. I'd advise laying low for now. If you feel you are in legitimate danger, then definitely tell someone! Otherwise, you're their child and under their supervision. And no, there's no law that says they have to let you be online. That's just how it is. 

But yeah, lycanthorpy is something entirely different. Being otherkin doesn't interfere with daily life, and it does not cause you to be a danger to others or yourself. It's possible they might find a therapist who would take their side, because therapists can be just as flawed as anyone else. But from a professional standpoint, being otherkin is not a mental illness in itself. 

 

elshara

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I am 14... So I cannot move out yet....  And I would have run away a long time ago, but they scare me, and fill me with things about the world that I do not want to necessarily know...  My friend@thatdorkybabycat is offering me to come to their place... but my parents have their ways....  and like I said already, they scare me.   The way they talk is scary... and the way my mother acts is sometimes scary...  They treat my siblings differently then me, and don't get on to them for half the things I get in trouble for.... 

sorry vent moment

but honestly, I have a few years left...  so I guess, I can stay there.... until I am 17 or so...
Foxchi,

I feel your pain as well. I've had something very similar happen to me and unfortunately, it did get worse ... by the time I turned of age, the only thing stopping me from running away was my disability. Or perceived disability.

You if what scares you the most really does turn physical, there is other ways of saying no without having to talk back to family. I've learned that if you keep them preoccupied with other tasks, like with cooking dinner or hell even getting your actual brothers and sisters to tag team a prank, that might help you sneak off to the computer and be yourself for a little while.

I had to do that when mine started drinking and doing drugs. They'd get so sloshed out on those things that they could be standing at a stove and think it's a fire pit. There's been lots of times I had to bail them out of their own mess and get punished for it. But then I'd just lock them out on the patio and at the time, didn't realize they'd actually risk dropping down to the bottom to get inside the house that way as opposed to just calling a lock smith as the phone was out there. I would've let them in after awhile, but I took no flack back then from anybody. I mean you want to talk about escaping danger, I got so involved with saving my own self, welfare, the police, all those guys even friends of mine I made on the internet from Colorado got involved, and I'm in Canada. Western Canada at that.

So I guess, here's something you can do. Ask the admins if you can change your name. Don't tell your folks what it is, and hell, even borrow another members account. Or, get your brother or sister to register on here as well, and then just use their account. I'm sure given your situation and circumstances, that'd be okay. Since we know that you're having some troubles if your actual account itself somehow gets logged into.

Use incognito mode if you're in chrome, or private browsing if you're using Firefox. That way there's no cookies on your device so they can't just login to your computer when you're asleep and see all the things you've posted. Change your password and hell, if you're on the Discord, you could even ask a mod on there to give you a new password for your account and o you could login there and it would be our little secret. Well not mine specifically but if you wanted to go that route, it'd be understandable.

Don't let their fears be your fears is what I'm saying. You don't need to disobey them if you have a difference in lifestyle. True they are your parental guardians, and all, but if you get any of your brothers or sisters to be in on it to protect you, say you feel very strongly about who you are as a person, and just want breathing room. I think that might help your situation a little bit better. Get them to distract you if they're younger or older, then maybe tell them to skip homework or something from school so the parents notice it and get on their case a little bit for it. That way you are the updated family and they don't have as much hold over you and if things ever did turn physical, you let one of us know and I mean if we knew where you were, and such, it'd be a simple matter of sneaking out the window and getting in the car. The most they'd be able to file is kidnapping charges, but if anyone asks, say you're running away because they scare and bully you and you aren't putting up with it and you are growing to be a young man and won't take any flack from people. Your parents are worried that you'll lose touch with the real world, yet you're just aware of something more than it and that's no crime at all.

 
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Jahfari

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I would say its pretty easy. All you gotta do is to explain your Parents that you dont think youre an Animal for real. You just want to be a wolf, its your spirit animal. Know what i mean ? I think with this your parents wont have a problem. And if they ask why youre registered on Kinmunity. Just tell them having a spirit animal is somehow close to the otherkin community. And you like to talk about wolves with other people.

 

LunastreDraconis

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As someone who is diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder and is draconian, being otherkin has nothing to do with mental illness, though the mental illness can make discovering one’s identity harder. You can’t be admitted into a mental hospital because your parents say otherkinity is a mental illness, as it has to be more serious, (life threatening), to be admitted. I was only admitted in the mental hospital at your age because my situation was serious and life threatening, so I think you’ll be okay friend. The best thing you can do is to ignore your parents, and try your best to defend your opinions. Try to stay away from them as much as you can, and prevent fights from escalating, by being nice and doing some things that will make them happy. You’ll be okay, I promise, it’s only a few more years, I made it, and so can you. ^.=.^

I’m sorry that’s been happening, you are strong and you can make it through. Just be sure to take care of yourself, and don’t try anything risky. Take breaks if you need to, or hang out with friends to take your mind off of things. I wish you best of luck friend, all will be well in the end. ^.=.^

 

Red-in-Tooth

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Unfortunately this is a learning experience good and bad. Given things went not so well and they even read about this place using your profile, it might be a reasonable plan to tell them what your involvement and beliefs are in it. Better yet, it might even be worth suggesting they ask people here what it is really about.

If they are throwing around terms like "clinical lycanthropy", they are somewhat close for being totally uninitiated and in that mindset. Granted it is still wrong and isn't at all what any of this is about, but at least it can be discussed and explained as a system of belief and spirituality that has nothing to do with actual shapeshifting. In fact, as a new member and having read the community expectations, it might be wise to show them that and be honest with them.

Honesty is a potent weapon and so far it doesn't sound like anything wrong has actually been done other than parents being concerned. There is also the second element too that you call some of their actions scary, so I can't say for certain, but if they have been reading your profile and posts, there is no way to alter the narrative.

 

FoxChi

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. But then I'd just lock them out on the patio and at the time
Pfffft thats great!

thank you so much!   i am definitely going to do that...  I would also have my siblings do that, however, they are younger then me, and they are on my parents sides 24/7...  so they wouldn't do that sadly.  But the second account is a good idea.  Should I ask a anim if I can or...?

@elshara  imma PM you so we can talk, if you'd like, more about this. : )

 

Amber

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Much has been said here already, but I'd still like to offer some thoughts... to put it first, I don't have children and I'm not at all into education or child rights. However I've noticed that you have the strong wish to "externalize" your identity, e.g. by wearing a tail, playing with your dog or talking to others. I can understand that, and I think there's nothing at all wrong about it; however, I also reckon that - unfortunately - all in all this does not seem helpful in your current situation.

Hence the wish to change that situation would also be understandable - but I agree to @Shezep that running away wouldn't seem to be a good option at this point. It's likely that you'll be found and brought back, which will only give your parents a hard reason to be very concerned. You don't want to give them such reason if it can be avoided. I think it would be better to not give them any more reasons to be concerned.

When it comes to them forbidding you to go out with the dog, to wear a tail, when they limit your online time: that is very, very annoying, but - I'm sorry to tell - as far as I know, allowed. What they surely can't do is keeping you from going to school, talking about wolf things with friends, roleplaying as a wolf, reading about wolfes in the library, or talking with us fellow kin using public internet access (e.g. at school). Also, telling you that your believe would be wrong is still allowed... however, it is up to you if you give any meaning to those words or not. What I mean to tell is that whatever they do, they can not take away your identity. You don't need a tail or a community to be a Wolf. This will not change your identity a single bit. I didn't have any of these, I didn't tell anyone when I was a kid, and I'm still a dragon. However, you have to somehow deal with the fact that you currently have a human body and live in human society. That will need some adaptations... mimic to be human, OK? I know it's hard. I'm doing the same, and it's hard for me too. Consider life a game, try to play well, and you win.

Finally, you say that they threathen you - as I understand, by wanting to visit a mental hospital with you, and they scare you. At that point I have to say... there we have a red line. If a minor tells me they're scared of their parents.. sorry, this rings an alarm clock. This can't be right. Hence, I would propose to prepare for the case that things get worse. Seek for external help. E.g. you could tell others (friends, maybe even teachers) that you're scared. And how about writing down a telephone number of a childhelp hotline? I don't know how good those are, but there seem to be several ones in the states. Make sure that if things get worse, you have somebody to talk to. Try to make people around you aware.

Just my 5 cents, I hope some of it is helpful... take care and good luck!

 

FoxChi

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@Amber  Thank you amber! i really appreciate that.  And I do agree; they cannot take my identity, and or what I am, spiritually.  Thank you again,  that helped 🙂

 

elshara

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Much has been said here already, but I'd still like to offer some thoughts... to put it first, I don't have children and I'm not at all into education or child rights. However I've noticed that you have the strong wish to "externalize" your identity, e.g. by wearing a tail, playing with your dog or talking to others. I can understand that, and I think there's nothing at all wrong about it; however, I also reckon that - unfortunately - all in all this does not seem helpful in your current situation.

Hence the wish to change that situation would also be understandable - but I agree to @Shezep that running away wouldn't seem to be a good option at this point. It's likely that you'll be found and brought back, which will only give your parents a hard reason to be very concerned. You don't want to give them such reason if it can be avoided. I think it would be better to not give them any more reasons to be concerned.

When it comes to them forbidding you to go out with the dog, to wear a tail, when they limit your online time: that is very, very annoying, but - I'm sorry to tell - as far as I know, allowed. What they surely can't do is keeping you from going to school, talking about wolf things with friends, roleplaying as a wolf, reading about wolfes in the library, or talking with us fellow kin using public internet access (e.g. at school). Also, telling you that your believe would be wrong is still allowed... however, it is up to you if you give any meaning to those words or not. What I mean to tell is that whatever they do, they can not take away your identity. You don't need a tail or a community to be a Wolf. This will not change your identity a single bit. I didn't have any of these, I didn't tell anyone when I was a kid, and I'm still a dragon. However, you have to somehow deal with the fact that you currently have a human body and live in human society. That will need some adaptations... mimic to be human, OK? I know it's hard. I'm doing the same, and it's hard for me too. Consider life a game, try to play well, and you win.

Finally, you say that they threathen you - as I understand, by wanting to visit a mental hospital with you, and they scare you. At that point I have to say... there we have a red line. If a minor tells me they're scared of their parents.. sorry, this rings an alarm clock. This can't be right. Hence, I would propose to prepare for the case that things get worse. Seek for external help. E.g. you could tell others (friends, maybe even teachers) that you're scared. And how about writing down a telephone number of a childhelp hotline? I don't know how good those are, but there seem to be several ones in the states. Make sure that if things get worse, you have somebody to talk to. Try to make people around you aware.

Just my 5 cents, I hope some of it is helpful... take care and good luck!
Law enforcement won't really help with internal struggles. In fact, the most they'd do is side with the parents. I've been down that road with teachers, councilors and it never went well, especially because all they care about is physical ailments, not psychological. In fact, they frown upon psychological diversity as much as possible.

Pfffft thats great!

thank you so much!   i am definitely going to do that...  I would also have my siblings do that, however, they are younger then me, and they are on my parents sides 24/7...  so they wouldn't do that sadly.  But the second account is a good idea.  Should I ask a anim if I can or...?

@elshara  imma PM you so we can talk, if you'd like, more about this. : )
 
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