Post retail stories! | Kinmunity: Otherkin Community

Post retail stories!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Raijun, Oct 29, 2015.

  1. Raijun

    Raijun Now with 40% less almond
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    Aaaah oh god, retail. Retail, retail, retail. What can't you do.

    We all have our bizarre stories about retail, especially if you actually work in some retail environment. For some reason, whenever 90% of the population walks into a retail store, they cease becoming humans and become customers. Somehow this ever-bewildering creature acquires this sense of self-importance as their money becomes purest gold and rarest of materials. It must be hoarded, rationalized, disputed, and judged within the hallowed walls of the building that now belongs to them somehow. Sale signs are subjective, expiration dates do not exist, and managers are a means to an end. Truly a bizarro-world of madness.

    I have a utterly tremendous collection of stories on www.customerssuck.com but I am loathe to share the links to them due to an account association. However, suffice it to say, they are horrific, unfathomable, unrealistic yet quite real, and wrought with despair and loathing.

    Or perhaps I'm just exaggerating and I meet a lot of people who are just naturally confused, thrifty, or are having a bad day. That is a possibility.

    Sadly, that possibility goes completely out the window when you think that the person behind the counter is less than human. Who hasn't made mistakes? How does a person forget that? Worst of all is the person who thinks they know better than the person who has spent years behind that counter. There is a story on notalwaysright.com who put a USB receiver from a wireless keyboard and mouse physically inside the computer rather than into a USB slot, and then completely berated the techs for not knowing a thing about computers.

    How can you defend a person like that? They wouldn't be techs for very long if they didn't know how USB ports work, and this 'customer' is the one who couldn't figure out how Tab A fits into Slot A despite there only being one slot that even remotely resembles it.

    Oh, I apologize; I seem to be ranting. I have much to rant about. :)
     
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  2. Shiro

    Shiro The foxy wolfeh ;p
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    I had two different retail jobs, and I have my fair share of stories from each. I worked as a computer technician and salesperson at Office Depot, and then as Asset Protection for Target.

    At Office Depot, we had a gentleman bring in his computer, which was in horrible physical condition (screen was partially cracked, and the plastic around the ports was shattered off, revealing part of the ports), for a standard malware removal service. I took in the computer and marked all of the damage under “Condition” as appropriate, and delivered the service successfully. After manually ensuring all the malware was removed, I called the customer to come and pick up his computer. When he arrived, he acted completely shocked to see his laptop and claimed that we must have dropped it and cracked his screen and damaged the plastic case. I was totally shocked that he’d try to pull something like that, so I showed him our condition notes and he accused me of fraud (which is what he was committing) and said that I should give his computer back free. After going back and forth, he paid for the service and was told both by me and the store manager not to come back. He called corporate, and got a 100$ gift card from them, which our store manager politely informed him he’d have to spend online because he was not welcome in our store.

    I could tell you many stories about working Asset Protection at Target, but the funniest one would have to be when a woman well over 300lbs tried to push out a TV. She comes into the store and begins loading her cart with merchandise from every isle. She gets my attention really quickly, because she wasn’t looking or browsing at all, reading a list, comparing prices, or doing anything someone on a typical shopping trip would do - she was just throwing items into her cart at seemingly random as she went down each isle. She finally reaches electronics, and starts to actually compare TVs before placing a very large flatscreen TV in her cart, then goes through p-fresh (Target’s Grocery Section) and tries to cover the TV with meat. She then placed a 12 pack of beer on the bottom of her cart for good measure. This woman then has the audacity to try and push this overflowing cart out of the door like nothing happened. The GSTL (Guest Services Team Leader) radios for Asset Protection, so the manager and myself arrive to apprehend her and she tries to hulk-smash us with the cart. Meat is all over the floor, the woman took off (she ran fast for her weight, in my opinion), came back into the store, grabbed the TV, and took off again. Although Target AP is authorized to detain, we had a ‘no chase’ policy, once she’s 10 feet from the door we had to let her go. She was picked up by police a few blocks later, brought back into the store, processed, and arrested. She was extremely rude and vulgar in the detention office, and I felt the need to wash the apprehension bench after she had been on it.

    Then there's the funny stories that you only get to hear in LP/AP. "I forgot to pay for it." "I wanted to show it to my husband in the car before buying it". Or my personal favorite "It's really nice out today, I thought the checklanes were outside."
     
    #2 Shiro, Oct 29, 2015
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  3. Raijun

    Raijun Now with 40% less almond
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    Thank you for sharing. Those are both terrifying stories for assorted reasons. I'm actually surprised that the first tale hasn't happened to me myself yet, as that is my exact position at the moment.

    I work in a Hardware store in the early morning before I go to my second job fixing computers and doing data recovery. This happened seven years ago when I was there full time though. A fellow came in to the store, asked for a manager, and explained to the manager that he was going to sue the store for a biological contamination that an item had given him.

    The manager asked for more details to see if his case was worth pursuing. The manager actually was a very sympathetic person and wanted to help the guy out, though naturally he also wanted to persuade the person not to sue, of course. He was pretty good with words. Thankfully he didn't even have to try for this one.

    The customer explained that he had taken a single 6-32 2" machine screw from the loose hardware aisle, gone into the bathroom, and in order to ensure that his theft of the screw would go undiscovered, he somehow managed to stuff the screw into his umm...... well this is the part I can't say on television. Not up his backside, no. That would be too easy. So yeah, this guy got a hell of a rash in a really sensitive area.

    When the manager reached this point of this story, he was trying his hardest not to laugh, so he tells us. I know I wouldn't have lasted even that long. The manager told him that he may not have a case due to his not paying for the screw, and he would be far better off financially if he didn't have to hire a lawyer who would only laugh at him and recommend for him a rash cream.


    The guy even had pockets on his pants. Why would he be so afraid of getting caught stealing a single easy-to-hide screw but be so brazen as to admit to a manager that he had committed theft from the same store to a manager?

    Also, a two inch screw. Think about that for a moment. That's a lot of screw to stuff up there.
     
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  4. Shiro

    Shiro The foxy wolfeh ;p
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    We actually had a lot of craziness when I worked at Office Depot, more so than when I worked in Asset Protection which was rather surprising to me. There are computers that came in for repair that I felt the need to (and actually did) wear gloves while handling. We also had a guy who thought it'd be a good idea to shove all his manuals, assorted CD/DVD roms, and various dead roaches inside of his computer's casing. Then there was a time where somebody brought us an extremely poorly made unbranded Chinese laptop (in which a hard-drive from a brand I never heard of was quite literally duct-taped in place inside of it) for recycling, so we decided to disassemble it for fun.

    Another story really stands out in my mind, though. We had a man who would bring his computer in about once or twice a month for virus removal services. We finally recommended he purchase Kaspersky from our store and we'd install it for him, which we did, and I still saw him back next month. He would explain that his kids keep downloading free games from the internet and bypassing the anti-virus prompt. His kids were with him and he asked me to give them a lesson on internet safety, so I go through the browser history to try and see what types of games the kids were downloading so I could explain why not to use those particular sites, and the history was literally FULL of porn sites, very strange porn sites at that. His wife saw one of the site names, and stormed out of the store....
     
  5. Raijun

    Raijun Now with 40% less almond
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    I groaned. :p That must have been so embarrassing. I mean for everyone. We've had our fair share of people who actually ask to salvage their porn folders in data recoveries. We don't even bat an eye anymore. It happens too often. Only a fifth of them are women I guess. I never know what to expect.

    Actually what happens a lot in our shop is people who smoke a lot and just generally don't take good care of their computers in terms of ventilation. We've had people whose tower turned from white into brown. We've had people who had more animal hair gunking up their case fans and heatsinks than I could pick out with a tweezers or brush. We've had people call us because of "minor" fires inside their computers and then bring it in for data recovery, and the hard drive rails had melted and the drive was hanging loose by the cables with a surprising amount of tensile strength to them. We all raised our eyebrows at that one.

    Oh and we get a lot of companies that we support who yell at us because they can't send e-mails because their internal IT guy messed up something on their end, and our e-mail administrator has everything fine on his end.


    ... someone else, post please? :|
     
  6. St Claire

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    I worked in a supermarket for a while back in my teens, but I'm afraid my stories aren't as interesting as the ones here. Just the standard "entitled customers verbally abusing vulnerable underage, underpaid, workers".

    The straw that broke the camels back came at the end of a 10hr shift. I was working the express lane (which I hated because the customers were meaner and the counters were too low for me) and I had quickly ducked over to the counter next to mine to clean up some meat juice, which was an h&s issue. My big mistake was glancing up to see how many customers were waiting, and accidentally meeting the eye of the customer at the front of the queue. She marched right up to my (empty) register and began unloading her stuff. I finished cleaning and went back to my register to ring her up. She then berated me for a good five minutes about how the customer comes first, the customer is most important, the customer is Christ on earth, I am a worm writhing in my own filth before the magnificence that is the customer, etc. Then she calmly paid for her groceries and went around to the smoke counter. I managed to serve one more customer (who was decent enough to not say a word) before completely breaking down. The woman was still as the smoke counter (directly behind the express checkouts) when this happened. She saw me run to the break room, completely humiliated, and instead of requesting for someone to bring me back out so she could apologise, she apologised TO MY MANAGER, who had come out to see why one of her employees was currently a puddle of tears. The woman's excuse was that she was "tired from driving all day", which usually means "I drove from the city 3 hours away". Remember, at this time I had been on my feet at that register for TEN HOURS! I stayed in the break room until my parents came to get me, cried in the car the entire way home, and then went in the next day to give my two weeks notice.
     
  7. Raijun

    Raijun Now with 40% less almond
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    Nobody deserves to be spoken to like that. I'm sorry that you had such an experience. :-/

    Would you have forgiven her eventually?
     
  8. St Claire

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    Hell no.
     
  9. tulpaesthetic

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    The hostess today worked from 7am to 3pm. Less than an hour into her shift, over the span of 20 minutes, two people tried to break $100 bills. Before 8 am.
    It's one thing if you're buying cartons of cigarettes to pay with $100 bills, but if you're buying like...$10 worth of things, my hostess (BLESS HER HEART) will hardly attempt to mask her irritation. Same thing if you're buying a $0.35 pack of gum and pay for it with a $20. Don't go into a gas station and do this.
    -- BILL CIPHER


    I generally try to be accommodating when someone hands me a large bill because like... IDK, i'm supposed to put every $20 i get in the safe under the register but when 5+ people in a row pay with $20 bills, and i'm on a roll and checking them out fast as can be, I don't have time to drop them in the safe, even one by one (bc the next person pays with a $20 and it's a steady flow.) so i sometimes have enough to break large bills, but today... it was before 8 am. 2 people before 8 in the morning. what are you doing at a gas station paying for things that aren't cartons/mass amounts of cigarettes with a $100. Why are you unloading this on me.

    today was actually the first time i said "do you have anything smaller" to a customer and i felt so bad about it but at the same time?????

    I don't have any funny stories, really. just creepy guys calling me pet names because i'm required to be nice to them and people ignoring my "closed register" sign that i wedge between my current customer and the open space after them, in hopes people won't ignore it. But then 5 people do because CLEARLY it doesn't apply to them.
     
  10. Elvode

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    When I was working last summer in a kiosk on a camping there was this one customer who got a spot with no electricity for his camper, I had not been informed that this specific spot did not have electricity, he then came back to the kiosk the next morning and was furious, he said it was cold and they didn't have any electricity and it was raining and storming and what not, I apologized for this happening and I had not been informed about this spot, he wanted money back for the electricity he never received, I said I would have a word with my boss about this since I can't make these kind of decisions.
    Another customer over heard our conversation and she said this person had been moving his camper around on different spots to take electricity from several places, she said "oooh I bet he was cold and freezing... not!"
    Some people think they have the right to demand and do anything they want, when I told the chairman about this he was going to call this guy and yell at him for being stupid, but he never answered his phone. I called the chairman my bodyguard, cause he was scaring away the mean people. :D