Tell me what your job is without telling me what your job is!

[CosmicKen]

I'll go first!

I sit in front of two screens every day while some maniac screams at me because of the prices of our "high speed" internet. If I get him to buy it I get ...

 

[Shezep]

I used to teach old people how to not fall down and look good while doing it.

Now I stare into thin air when I'm supposed to be writing and babysit a stir-crazy old veteran who happens to be my wife.

 

[Kerguelen]

I write death certificates for lies.

 

[Lighter]

I update databases and check if various data is correct. Other things I am doing is testing, debugging and programming applications (plus helping out with customizing) of an ERP software that seems to be considered hard to understand by many people. One guy who was only a user (not developer or tester) of this ERP software said "My condolences!" after I told him that I have worked with it (this was between my first and second job). For me, this ERP software is sometimes hard to understand, but most of the time it is easy and I understand it very quickly (of course my colleagues explain things to me). Apps like Photoshop, Sony Vegas and Blender are a lot harder to get for me.

In short, I am sitting in front of a screen and using my brain.

 

[Lighter]

I write death certificates for lies.

So you search for evidence?

 

[Lighter]

I'll go first!

I sit in front of two screens every day while some maniac screams at me because of the prices of our "high speed" internet. If I get him to buy it I get ...

Why did you give everyone the negative "Mean" reaction? No one here was mean.

 

[Jethero]

@CosmicKen please use the reaction system appropriately. Thank you.

 

[CosmicKen]

What is the mean reaction? I was using this on my iPhone at the time and thought I hit the fire button which I assumed meant “fire” as in good. Maybe it’s just my local slang. Sorry didn’t mean to offend anyone. Now I feel like a jerk.

 

[CosmicKen]

@Jethero my ios browser doesn’t give me the names of the icons like desktop does.
Sorry.

 

[Naia]

I stalk my prey silently, following behind them at a safe distance, occasionally, when I have to, I get closer. I need to be sure of what my prey is doing, and I need to ensure they never leave my sight. When my prey is lulled into a false sense of security and thinks it can escape, I make my move, ambushing them from behind and dragging them off into the shadows.

 

[CosmicKen]

I stalk my prey silently, following behind them at a safe distance, occasionally, when I have to, I get closer. I need to be sure of what my prey is doing, and I need to ensure they never leave my sight. When my prey is lulled into a false sense of security and thinks it can escape, I make my move, ambushing them from behind and dragging them off into the shadows.

This is epic! I want this job. Your stalking skills must be on point. In all seriousness I heard the live about your job and I can only imagine how tense it is at times. You’re a savage.

 

[Velvet]

I listen to owners complain about their dog's bad behaviour, watch everything the owner does wrong with their dog, then show them the right things to do and hope they listen.
And occasionally I help a dog through a real issue.

 

[Timbrilsom]

I clean up the messes made by strangers as they try to not be fat

 

[Finna Alsvartr]

I write letters of congratulations and read a bunch of newspapers for free six hours a week. And some other stuff but that's the majority of my "job"

I swear nobody's going to figure out what this is lmao

 

[Jethero]

I solve people's problems and help create things for data to fit into.

 

[galaxy_horse]

I ship crap for people who complain about the price despite the fact that they’re shipping to California to get it there by tomorrow.
Then I have to explain to someone doing Amazon returns why their return needs to have a box and that yes, they have to pay for said box.

I stalk my prey silently, following behind them at a safe distance, occasionally, when I have to, I get closer. I need to be sure of what my prey is doing, and I need to ensure they never leave my sight. When my prey is lulled into a false sense of security and thinks it can escape, I make my move, ambushing them from behind and dragging them off into the shadows.

A dentist!