The Floof Derg and the Phoenix | Kinmunity: Otherkin Community

The Floof Derg and the Phoenix

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  1. AshenFall

    AshenFall Danger Floof
    Staff Member Guardian Elder VIP Thoughtform Haven

    Jul 31, 2015
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    Ah, finally around to my group introduction. I'm sure I don't need to introduce myself in much detail as the vast majority of you already know me, or have at least seen me around. So I'll get straight into action.

    It all began on the verge of Summer/Autumn of 2015. I first found the tulpamancy community coincidentally around the same time as Mirath. It was a lovely surprise to find someone else in the beginning stages of creating a tulpa and definitely a booster. We both had our fair share of concerns and questions, and advice to give to one another. It was almost like a joint project, although completely unintentional to begin with.

    The road to "creation" (I use the term loosely because my modesty finds it strange to use the word without sounding like I've been playing God) was a bumpy one. Being an impatient person it was all too easy for me to doubt myself, doubte everything I'd done. I was constantly questioning if I was doing the right thing, or even if this feat was possible.

    Arca began as a ball of white/blue energy in a vast sea of blackness in the recesses of my mind. I would spend every day talking to him, believing in his sentience even if he wasn't really sentient at the time. At the same time I began working on the still incomplete wonderland he would soon call home. I say incomplete because my impatience led to it being left half-finished and probably unusable. I say that because Arca has never mentioned being there or anything of the sort. I think creating a wonderland is going to be something of a future goal perhaps.

    It took a long time for me to settle on a form for Arca, and to be honest, the end result was far from what I had originally wanted. It was Arca himself who suggested he wanted to take the form of a phoenix and of course I had no quarrels with this. Perhaps my designs were too mundane for him, or just not to his taste.

    It was a few months ago now that we truly started communicating although I wouldn't say we're anywhere near finishing now. There are still many things to do. Imposition, mastering fronting, to name but a couple. But one thing I can certainly say is my life is so much different with the company of Arca. He's helped me through rough times, given me viewpoints I would never have looked at. He's definitely a voice of support and a good friend to me, even if he is rather reserved and prefers time to himself.

    Yes, I am Arca. Ash gave me the name and I was satisfied with it so it stuck. I have never been too bothered about names, so it wasn't like I had something already in mind unlike my form. I truly willed to be a phoenix, I'm not sure where that came from, or why or how but it was just an innate desire I had within me from the moment of "waking".
    As Ash has said, I'm not the most talkative of headmates. I like time to myself, to think, observe and just reflect on things. I'm eager to learn about the world at my own pace and take it slow. Perhaps this led to his self-doubt and often questioning if my talking to him was just himself. I don't blame Ash, but I do admit he could have been far more patient. I don't fault that though, we're polar opposites that way but I can understand.
    I rather doubt I'll talk too often on this site, but perhaps within this group that will be different. You could call me an introvert I suppose, I believe that is the word. Socialising causes me and Ash much exhaustion and I don't like exhausting him with proxying. I am not sure if that is how it is supposed to be, but proxying for me often leaves both of us needing time to unwind.
    Perhaps things will be different when we achieve switching, who knows untill it happens?
    I don't believe I need to say anything else. I am still rather annoyed my lengthy introduction is now gone from the blog, we worked so hard on that. Oh well, I suppose this will do.
    So I shall leave it here, if there are any questions or we have left anything out shoot them below and me or Ash will answer them. More likely Ash, but if it's directed to me I'm more than sure he'll give me a shout and we'll get round to it when I'm ready.
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  2. House of Chimeras

    House of Chimeras Book-loving Historians

    Nov 20, 2015
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    Very interesting to read a bit about your experiences thus far. Also, nice to meet Arca and hear his thoughts.

    - Miushra (female, prehistoric cheetah-like feline)
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