The Let it All Out Thread

Kerguelen

Active Member
I'm watching as every private space I once had gets chipped away. I had a room to myself, and then I had to move into a one-room house. I had time to myself, now I've always gotta be somewhere to see somebody. I had these online spaces to be myself in a community I knew wouldn't judge me, and now people who are not in the community have found me and won't stop following me, because god forbid I have a space away from their prying eyes. What's next, the whole country goes full 1984---
---let's not go there.
 

Kerguelen

Active Member
I don't need your help. I don't need a savior. I don't need you to come into my life and tell me all the things I'm doing wrong. If you don't like me, if you think I'm broken and need fixing, just leave me alone. I'd rather be alone than have you try to wrestle me into your ideology.
 
Why is it that when I could potentially be A or B, I always turn out to be the most pretentious-, elitist-, and snobby-sounding one? I swear I'm not that much of an arrogant douchebag, why do I always wind up being the thing that sounds like it thinks it's better than everyone else?
 

Vintage

Active Member
copy/paste from my thread in a different forum..Something that is really bothering me at the moment..
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When you're not really fond of dogs? Or pets in general. (Not all people)

I suppose this is more of a vent.

I've browsed a few forums and blogs and as soon as someone says they don't like dogs- the comment section turns into a sh!t show. "You're heartless", "You should feel ashamed"...

Though to be fair, a lot of people agree that dogs shouldn't be humanized so much like they are today, and also to be fair, my own dogs (whom I didn't have a choice in getting) drive me up a wall and have mainly been a negative influence on my therianthropy...but I already had that rant.

I mean anyone has the right to not like anything, but if you mention you don't like dogs, it's on par with not liking babies (hence part of the 'we humanize pets too much'.) People begin to dislike you due to the one aspect of not liking their pet/species of pet. I think it's pretty ridiculous. Personally I think dogs are too demanding of attention and not too self sufficient like a bird or a cat can be. I've worked with both dogs and cats. I have my preference but this is also due to my lifestyle. In fact, perhaps people should research what pet is good for their lifestyle before getting one. Though this advice often falls through the cracks.

My question at the beginning isn't 100% my situation. I do like the right type of pet for me- I could be matched up to a dog that might actually fit me, or a cat, etc. I don' hate pets just because I'm having a very hard time adjusting to them currently. Though if I told that to any pet lover they (the non-reasonable ones) will act as if you told them to jump of a bridge. Ironically, I used to be an animal lover, and I still like animals, I'm just not keen on certain things. I'm not sure if part of my therianthropy made this aspect worse, but I'm a lot less tolerable of the social justice pet warriors (things like peta or the like).

Believe it or not, some countries think of it as absolutely heinous to let an animal in your house. This mentality wouldn't get far here in the states/north America where everyone and their mother seems to have a cat or dog. God forbid if I say 'I didn't form a bond with my dogs'. Because that is the truth. I find them-well one of them- very triggering to my therianthropy and other issues. Because of this, my family ostracizes me. If I have advice on how to train the dogs, they don't want to hear it. If I need a small mental break and I go in my room away from the dogs, they blame me for being anti-social...just because of two dogs.

Perhaps this is why I feel the way I do.
 
copy/paste from my thread in a different forum..Something that is really bothering me at the moment..
-

When you're not really fond of dogs? Or pets in general. (Not all people)

I suppose this is more of a vent.

I've browsed a few forums and blogs and as soon as someone says they don't like dogs- the comment section turns into a sh!t show. "You're heartless", "You should feel ashamed"...
If it makes you feel any better, I don't like kids. At all. I would never wish harm on a child, I want them to be safe and loved and provided for, I just want them to be far away from me. If I ever so much as mention that I don't want kids of my own, there's always a rousing chorus of "you'll change your mind, just wait and see!" from all sides. No, strangers who have no right to claim any say what happens in, around, or to my body, I'm NOT going to change my mind. If you hate snakes, you don't get a pet snake. If you hate kids, you don't reproduce. It's as simple as that. The idea of carrying a child resonates with me on the same level as having an entire colony of tapeworms in my bowels: vast quantities of DO NOT WANT. Yet total strangers feel completely entitled to tell me I will change my mind about those tapeworms and willingly house multiple colonies of tapeworms before my child-bearing years are over, making clear in their phrasing that I will change my mind about those tapeworms even if it's against my own will. Well, screw you, strangers, and screw your tapeworms, too!
 

Kerguelen

Active Member
I can't decide if I want kids or not, but I still hate it when people try and tell me that I do want them. I'll decide that for myself, thanks.
 
Wow that dog thing is no joke. My friend has a flat out phobia of them and many dog owners actively have triggered it when finding out or attacked it for it. The latest example I know: When getting medication at a Wallgreens someone had brought their dog in just because they love them (they had said so to another person who was also waiting for medication). It was a pretty big dog too. The worker was wondering why my friend kept seeming to move around and hide and so it admitted the phobia. So the worker pushed to get it's medication done first so it wouldn't have to stay there as long. The person with the dog ended up actively walking the dog past my friend multiple times whispering 'he won't bite' in this sassy way. Yeah good work. That will totally change my friend's mind about having a phobia over the animal. That totally won't just reinforce the fear even deeper. /Sarcasm.

It's terrifying how people can be to things like that sometimes and it does need to change no joke about that. And about the kid thing too.

-- -- --

I guess for my letting it out thing; I am so happy the weekend is over. I had a lot of stuff to do and it made me have to be on the opposite side of the clock of my usual to do it all. I just want to get back on my schedule and stop feeling constantly tired and confused of what time it is. I took so many naps trying to keep going. Hopefully it only takes me today to get fixed so tomorrow I'll be fully back to tip top liiiving.
 
Yet again, a thing I recently found out about that I qualify to be a member of turns out to be yet another asshole cult. I don't wanna hang out with the assholes, and they would get pretty sick of me once they figured out I don't do mindless obedience or conformity. Oh well, at least I found out before I actually got involved.
 
Well, shit. I somehow turned out to be a workaholic and I just now figured that out. It's been over a month since I've had more than one day off at a time, I keep staying late to help out and just get one last thing done all the damned time, I've been picking up extra shifts to help out. I'm exhausted, I need a vacation, and yet I can't even bring myself to put in a request for a three-day-weekend. I didn't even ask for my birthday off, all I asked for was an earlier shift that day! Some of my coworkers take a whole week off for their birthdays, and I wouldn't even take one day!

. . . How the hell did I get here?
 
Here goes some dang venting. I'm sure letting it out today.

I'm really trying to make an art style for myself, not for the probably expected 'I need my own style to become a true artist' kind of deal but because I need a style my mind can actually understand and draw out and it's so hard. It really sucks there's like no online guides to help that don't just go 'study first, copy people, and then you'll find one!' What no. Not everyone's brain even functions like that please. I just want something I can comprehend and don't tell me to study anatomy and color theory. No one would tell a kid to study those things to start drawing. So why do they always say that? And those shape ideas are just as confusing. Overly simplifying something to shapes makes it actually more confusing and complicated.

I know it's possible my brain just cannot work with art but I really want to find a way to make it work even if it is so impossible. I want to draw my comfort characters and stuff from my memories. I want to be able to bring my thoughts to life so I can see them, touch them, instead of trying hard to explain things and just getting confused looks. If I could draw them then I wouldn't have as much issue. But brain to hand? Yep there's some disconnect there.

Woo that was kind of nice to just vent out even if it's a nonsensical kind of whinny mess.
 
Um.. Hi.. I've..never done this before... But.. I am part of a DID system.. And I feel ignored cause..I'm the shyist.. Of the bunch.. *crawls into box* ....even on here I'm so not confident.. But..um..hi..
-Danny
 

Mirath

The Animus Master
VIP
Um.. Hi.. I've..never done this before... But.. I am part of a DID system.. And I feel ignored cause..I'm the shyist.. Of the bunch.. *crawls into box* ....even on here I'm so not confident.. But..um..hi..
-Danny
Hi there, I do hope you don’t mind me replying here (one of my OCs is called Danny too, funny how those things happen)

One of the best ways to say hi and meet new people on here is to make an introduction in our Scent Rolling forum. Things like hobbies, how you found this place, and so on and so forth.

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As for me... I should start looking for a new job, but part of me clings to the hope I can reapply for an internal role... And I’m nervous.
 
Hi there, I do hope you don’t mind me replying here (one of my OCs is called Danny too, funny how those things happen)

One of the best ways to say hi and meet new people on here is to make an introduction in our Scent Rolling forum. Things like hobbies, how you found this place, and so on and so forth.

-

As for me... I should start looking for a new job, but part of me clings to the hope I can reapply for an internal role... And I’m nervous.
Oh.. I..I don't mind..and thanks...ill try.. hope..things work out..for you..
-Danny
 
I told that stupid kid not to burn her bridges when she changes jobs. I told her! So what does she do? She blows them up with dynamite instead! Was I that stupid when I was her age? I know for fact I never left a job the way she just did. Every time she tells me she handled something like a grown-up, it turns out she actually handled it like a major asshole. She had already given her two-weeks' notice, things were going smoothly, and the day the big brass visits the store she decides to go on a tirade to them about how hostile the work environment has been and even went so far as to claim that she spoke for the entire team when she hadn't actually spoken to anyone else to see if they agreed with her. The pharmacy manager was deeply hurt, because even though he's a bit stupid he's been trying his hardest to be a good boss, and the store manager, who is one of the best bosses I've ever worked under, was outright shaken by the personal attacks she threw at both of them.

Maybe it will be easier to be friends with her now that we're not co-workers anymore.
 
> Be me. Be HJ.
> Find your daughter
> Memories and stuff all match up.
> Your daughter is part of a multiple system.
> Multiple system's host ends up committing suicide.
> Your daughter is pretty much dead. Again.

It's been months and I am still dealing with it.
 
I've been dealing with an ongoing series of migraines that started on Saturday and continue even now. Twice this week I've been sent home early because of how miserable I looked even though I was trying to tough it out and finish my shift. Today I was in literal tears. I have been exhausting my options for OTC treatment on a daily basis. This really fucking sucks.