who and what am I?

[skyldir]

From when I was very young I have always loved wolves and birds and animals in general. I used to play games with my friends where we would pretend to be animals, and I loved it, until I got older and moved schools and was separated from the people I would play with. For a good few years now I have been looking in the mirror and wondering if it was possible to be trans-species. I am a girl and I am happy with it, but I look in the mirror and think, This is not me. I stand on my balcony and wish with everything I have that I was able to just get out and run and not be stuck inside. I have spent my entire life wishing I was a wolf or a bird, and thinking I was just being stupid, childish, and cringy. I am very new to this community but I feel like I belong more than I have to anything before. But it's hard to find out information about this, from the internet or real life, so I'm asking if anyone can tell me a bit about what I am thinking and what I might be?

 

[Amber]

First of all, a warm welcome to Kinmunity, skyldir! It's great to see that you're open to your experiences to the point of wanting to find out what's behind. To open up the round of answers, I'd like to put forward that nobody can tell you who or what you are - it's finally up to you to find out. However, we'll be more than happy to provide help along the way.

I think it's quite obvious that you have at least a deep connection to birds and wolves. That's a good starting point. Combined with your feeling of having the wrong body it's a strong point to check the possibiliy of being a therian imo. Many therians I know would report very similar things as you did. You could also be what we call 'otherhearted'. Therians are (non-physically) identifying, in part or in whole, as one or more non-human earth animals. Whereas otherhearted people are humans identifying with or having an exceptionally strong connection to one or more non-human creatures. It's a bit fuzzy what "exceptionally strong" means, though.. in any case, it's more than just liking the animal. These are only very abridged definitions, though. I suggest to look up both terms by searching the site. There are plenty of reports and resources. This article may be a good start.

I'd like to add that therian and otherhearted are just terms. They in no way change your experiences, and you don't have to "qualify" for one or the other. Your personal experiences are the reference; it's actually the terms that have to qualify for describing them correctly. Hence, I also advice to consider additional personal experiences. Do you have any quirks, unusual mental states, physical-like feelings, dreams or visions that relate to the feeling of being non-human or being wolf or bird? I'm obviously talking of "shifts" here. Did others maybe even notice your interest in these animals? Do you have any idea about a specific species of wolf / bird you could be or most strongly relate to? Considering these questions should help you getting a clearer picture. It's a long journey, so I wish you all the best in advance!

 

[skyldir]

First of all, a warm welcome to Kinmunity, skyldir! It's great to see that you're open to your experiences to the point of wanting to find out what's behind. To open up the round of answers, I'd like to put forward that nobody can tell you who or what you are - it's finally up to you to find out. However, we'll be more than happy to provide help along the way.

I think it's quite obvious that you have at least a deep connection to birds and wolves. That's a good starting point. Combined with your feeling of having the wrong body it's a strong point to check the possibiliy of being a therian imo. Many therians I know would report very similar things as you did. You could also be what we call 'otherhearted'. Therians are (non-physically) identifying, in part or in whole, as one or more non-human earth animals. Whereas otherhearted people are humans identifying with or having an exceptionally strong connection to one or more non-human creatures. It's a bit fuzzy what "exceptionally strong" means, though.. in any case, it's more than just liking the animal. These are only very abridged definitions, though. I suggest to look up both terms by searching the site. There are plenty of reports and resources. This article may be a good start.

I'd like to add that therian and otherhearted are just terms. They in no way change your experiences, and you don't have to "qualify" for one or the other. Your personal experiences are the reference; it's actually the terms that have to qualify for describing them correctly. Hence, I also advice to consider additional personal experiences. Do you have any quirks, unusual mental states, physical-like feelings, dreams or visions that relate to the feeling of being non-human or being wolf or bird? I'm obviously talking of "shifts" here. Did others maybe even notice your interest in these animals? Do you have any idea about a specific species of wolf / bird you could be or most strongly relate to? Considering these questions should help you getting a clearer picture. It's a long journey, so I wish you all the best in advance!

Hi Amber!
Thank you so much for all of this information! I read the article you linked as well as other things on this forum and others, and I think I have a better idea of who I am now, however I can tell I still have a long way to go from here. It was nice to meet you

 

[Red-in-Tooth]

Another note of importance here, @skyldir, is that the "coping-link" type of behavior is not out of the question. Whereas therians and those who practice therianism identify their natures internally, that they believe for one reason or another they are ultimately an animal and feel manifestations of that experience in some fashion, those who develop "coping links" choose to identify as a species or at times several species or choose to emulate it because it holds a number of ideals they find worth admiring and wanting to be like. The difference being that one is in the former, that it is how they are and is unavoidable, whereas the latter is one identifies as or wishes to be. An individual with a coping link finds extremely personal kinship and personal pursuit, desire above just want, to be like and close to that thing and emulate it.

So wishing to just "run or fly away" might very well be those desires manifest. Coping links, regularly, never manifest altered states of consciousness or experience as therians report of "being" - this is the "shifting" colloquially referred to - that organism in some fashion in the same exact way. It is still possible, however, as individuals with coping links can still channel that sort of experience for themselves by being so intensely driven to bond to it that they gain a sort of sympathy. I mean this in the truest sense of the word, rather than what it means now, which makes it one step beyond empathy in that it means literally "to share an experience" whereas empathy would be in contrast as "to understand an experience".

Wanting to be an animal is nothing special to humans, so even if one is just ultimately a person, the idea is at least forty thousand years old and likely much longer as representative art only comes, in prehistory, well after established senses of culture and belief. Which is to say, there is nothing negative about a person who maintains a coping link with say, a wolf or a bird, rather than being "other" themselves; if anything having the courage and understanding to know the difference, then accept it, then live it is a power all its own.

The "hearted" quality of "other heartedness" is more like a bond of affinity and community with something else. It is neither the individual themselves, an adaption of something else by the individual to become part of their being, rather it is an awareness that it is removed from them but something they feel deeply for. It is probably, if we were being perfectly fair, the most common example of "otherness" in the world because of the extreme bonds people have with animals in many cases without being animals themselves - by their own admission at least - or living up to be that and live that animal as part of their life.