A looming feeling

It took time for me to mentally go through this particular image. A rather heavy emotion...not in the way that 'Portal' https://www.deviantart.com/thebridgebeyond/art/Portal-833615032
turned out, but this one was much more somber. Nearly distressing until I had to put it at ease.
Thinking back on those who I no longer see, no longer can reach out for...it filled me with a deep sense of sadness, almost a feeling of emptiness. Those who have drifted, those who have turned in situations that could’ve gone another way. I needed to get away from it. Yet the more I ignored and ran, the angrier I got with it all--the more distant things seemed to get, until I was literally alone with my own thoughts...reclusive. I care too much- I care about others who I bond with because I do not get close to many people.

This type of vent art in this fashion (from negative feelings) is rare from me. However, it is not purely that- it is a drawing in which the same emotions were shared with a particular individual at a point in time.

When the Evreens split up as a family to cover ground and go their own ways, Rascal Evreen stumbled upon an area of Toumin Hills, tagging along with Moril and Sachi Evreen. Although the moons were bright with promise on their new home...Rascal felt very somber. What if he had lost contact completely with the other half of his family? What would happen in this new clan?

He was full of anxiety and understood that if he lost everyone, he might lose himself too. Rascal just wanted the familiarity of kinship to surround him once more. Yet here her was thrown into a new land he was not familiar with. It sat heavy on his mind many months after settling, trying to understand the new rhythm of the land, and the dynamics of a new clan.

(full drawing here...: https://www.deviantart.com/thebridgebeyond/art/New-Lands-853358640?ga_submit_new=10:1598568390&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1

Things have been rather turbulent in the kin/therian community upon my trips between forums. Certain conversations turned sour and it was one of the reasons for such strong feelings. It was not the only reason, of course, but it all came full circle.

I have now gotten a chance to recollect my mind and feel a bit better. Yet this is a looming feeling...and as an artist, I hope that anyone who looks at this can see and feel such uncertainty that is going through the zhuard's mind.
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