Cat Contemplations Entry 1: Who are "You"?

Hello everyone! (*・ω・)ノ Today will be the first of my Cat Contemplations blog entries. Many of my posts are fairly structured, such as An Explanation Of My Desk, but Cat Contemplations will be a bit more free-form. Think of it as similar to Effervescent's Experiences (The first of which can be read here), but instead of, well, experiences, these entries will just consist of my inner thoughts and whatever happens to be on my mind on a given day. Not only will this serve as a means for me to air my feelings to the world, but also to give you some more personal insights into my mind and thoughts that don't rely on a single event or occurrence as my experience-based entries do.

So allow me to crack open my brain like an egg and let my musings ooze out onto my keyboard.

These past couple of days I've found myself thinking quite a bit about my past. It started off as just a momentary recollection of a few details of my childhood, then quickly spiraled into a twisting, pandemonious maelstrom of nostalgia that dragged me in and kept me lying awake in bed for much of last night. Not only do I remember those times with fondness and sometimes wish I could return to them, but they serve as a reminder of just how much I've changed since my early years. Not only have I awakened as a therian, but things as small as my tastes in music and as large as my outlook on life and thoughts on society as a whole have changed drastically from what they once were. Not only has this lead me to consider where I've come between the past and present, but where I may be in the future. How, many years from now, will I have changed mentally and emotionally? Physically?

Indeed, not even this body was the same just a few years ago. Right now, as you read this, your body is shedding its atoms. With every second that passes, your skin turns to dust and blows away in the breeze, little pieces of you slowly but surely being left behind. Eventually, none of the "you" of today will be left, and "you" will have entirely returned to the earth. Despite being alive, the old "you" is long since dead. So what are "you"? What is the one constant that keeps you from being an entirely different person now than you were a decade ago? By the looks of things, human life is not unlike Pi: pieces of us, like digits, come and become a part of us for a fleeting moment before being overtaken by billions more, those of the past almost never repeating.

Perhaps such memories, while intangible, are the only solution to this problem. Even if we may no longer physically be the person that we used too, such recollections tie us to our old selves. If our past self is long since turned to dust, would our memories not have gone with them? The fact that we keep such recollections with us allows us to prove that we are one continuous being with a past, present, and future as opposed to splitting off into multiple beings, the "you" from the past being entirely different than "you" of today. They allow us to be able to say more than just "I am, in the present", but also "I was, in the past". But what about when those memories fade with time? What happens then? Will we never know?

Or perhaps, we already did know at some point, but no longer remember.


Note: This blog entry was made before the July 2020 site update that removed all blogs for a while. Though it had to be reuploaded at a later date, this entry was originally posted on April 8, 2019.

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