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Exploring My Connection With Water

I've always felt very connected to the element of water, but I'm not entirely sure why. It's always been the element that I associate with me. I have loved the ocean, and I've loved being in or by the water for as long as I can remember.

I felt strongly drawn to the ocean in particular when I was a child. I still feel some connection, but I wish it was stronger again.

I loved to be under the water. I have been better at swimming under the water than above the water for some reason. My parents used to call me a fish because I loved being under the water. I got good at holding my breath... I haven't practiced in a while, so I lost that skill.

My sun sign (the zodiac sign you know) is Pisces, so that's one explanation... But I don't think it's all of it.

There's no other water in my birth chart except for my MC (Midheaven). I did hear someone say that sometimes people are drawn to the element that they lack. My chart is mostly air dominant, and water is the weakest. Though my sun (which is usually the strongest part of a chart) isn't weak, so I don't feel like I am very lacking... At the moment I feel out of touch. I used to relate a lot more to pisces and water than I do now. Recently I have felt an urge to get back in touch with those traits.

The thing is that I used to strongly connect with and relate to that element. It was personally significant to me. I still feel that way, but a lot less now.

I wanted to be in the water. I wanted to be able to spend a long time underwater and like... breathe in there. It was super strong. I would get into water whenever I had the chance. I loved to be underwater.

I was really drawn to sea animals (especially dolphins) and mermaids. I don't think this is a kintype thing. I also don't know how to place another kintype into my self understanding, and into my history. I don't know when that life would occur in relation to this one, and my last one.

Maybe it's just because I like the ocean a lot, and it's common for kids to like mermaids... And to pretend. This stuck around into my earlier teen years, but without the pretending. I drew a lot of mer characters instead.

Kintype just doesn't feel quite right here. I wouldn't even put it as a hearttype or an otherlink.

I think it's just because of the connection I have to water. I don't know if that connects to my angel identity, or if it was only me being a little pisces kid. I find that I am heavily effected by astrological energy and transits, so that's probably at least a part of it.

I think it's normal for spiritual people who work with the four/five elements to feel drawn to one in particular. It probably reflects a lot about who I am, and what I could strive to embody. I felt like I should reconnect with the element, and reconnecting with it would help me heal.

Perhaps it's as simple as that. I'll understand it better as I work on strengthening the connection again. I feel less alive without my dreaminess, and I feel like I've lost a lot of my creativity. I have a harder time feeling and expressing emotion now. I feel so much, but I feel kind of dead at the same time. I've been through some trauma recently, and I've been feeling my Capricorn moon a lot more strongly.

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2-D
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