Fusion Shift

This blog entry originally was to document a notable experience that happened to me on June 5th 2019. Back then, I wrote the following:

"The title implies a new kind of shift, but I guess you could classify it under the "mental shift" umbrella. Only that in this case it's quite specific because of the circumstances of my kintype.

As you know, my physical body is (despite my disappointment) currently human and not dragon, but I've decided to accept and embrace my feeling that my consciousness and spirit are draconic. I believe that my human brain can not hold the full extent of this consciousness, and hence that only part of it is here while the major part resides at another place sleeping - maybe somewhere in what is usually called "astral plane". Since last christmas I've had four experiences which felt like these two parts were more or less fully fusing - the first one was involuntary and happened indoor. The next two were also involuntary, short and happened in the free nature. They were accompanied by astral and mental shifts as well as an eerie feeling of the world being unreal, feeling to look at the world from the outside and vastly increased nature energy sensing. During the last days I finally realized that I could voluntarily sense nature around me in a empath-like fashion, just by opening myself up and listening to my feelings, much like deactivating a mental protection shield. I found the sensations unusually intense when compared to similar ones I had before christmas 2018.

Today I took this one step further and removed more mental protections, sitting on the grass a few steps away from my house. As expected this resulted in the eerie feeling described above. Usually my body would freeze and I would stop breathing at that time, which would render me unable to keep this state for longer than a few seconds. But this time, knowing about what was happening, it would seem I somehow managed to mentally keep my "fused me" stable for a few minutes, and enabling it to control my body. This resulted in strange and surprising thoughts coming to my mind. First I got the feeling that what I see would be an illusion, I was not supposed to be here, my body was not mine and I didn't want to have this. It took me a few seconds to remember that this body was only meant for observation and this reality would be the world I protected. I was feeling like seeing the world through the eyes of an astral dragon who was confused to be physically here.
I think I never got closer to feeling to be myself out in the nature before. However the experience leaves a bit of a strange impression because my outer consciusness seems to be more far away from this world than I expected. The excercise didn't really make me tired this time, so hopefully I may use this type of voluntary shift in the future to do introspection without a classical meditation setting."


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