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Head to toes

I've down a whole google doc of my shifts a while ago, so thought I'd archive it here as well.

Phantom Shifts

I don't actually feel very vivid and clear phantom shifts naturally, I have to provoke them to get something I can get informations out of. The only exception as far as I am aware is the zygodactylous feet, which are clear and appear rather often.

Zygodactylous feet (These ones I'm sure of being an actual shift. Appeared on my hands first, six fingered hands, one extra thumb. Then feet, two back toes. I don't actually feel the front two toes unless I provoke it I think.)

Claws (have them from time to time on my hands. Unsure if it's actually a thing or just some weird finger tingle.)

Teeth, Bared Teeth (one of the reason I struggle to make a drawing of my face that satisfies me. Beak and bared teeth don't work together ahah. Less wolfish and more bleeding heart monkey. It's some extreme teeth show y'all.)

Feathers (Unsure if it ever happened unprovoked)

Wings (Same, although I'd argue that I might have as a child, going from some memories. Placed on arms, unless my brain glitches and think my arms are legs, which happens rather often. In that case, either on back or kind of in superposition to the arms, but it's rare.)

Tail (Usually feels like a raptor like tail. I've felt roady tails a few time but I most likely provoked that. In any case, it's rather long.)
Total body roadrunner, Beak, Crest (unsure if happened unprovoked?), horns. (I think most of these only happened provoked)

Cameos : Snake tail, Bull horns I think?, Pandoran back set of eyes, xenomorph tail.

Missing body parts

Don't have a better way of explaining it, sometimes I put it under phantom shifts. Those are stuff I feel like I should or could have. A sort of noema.

Hackles/feathers/crest... (I feel like I can puff up to scare away things I don't want near me. Usually comes with snarling urge, and fight or flight. In my mind I tend to also puff up with my wings, kinda like an owl orb pose.)

Wings (I definitely have flight urges. Mostly when spooked or uncomfortable, wanting to get in a safer spot. Sometimes after flight dreams too, very frustrating. High places do that too.)

Pointy bits (Kind of vague, so I do feel like I should have,,, claws? Or something to stab with? Beak might fit in that too. In my daydream stuff the tail also does, I usually represent myself with a blade at the end.)

Eyes (There's something weird with my eyes not sure what is wrong but it's not right.)

Throat pouch (Crop was most likely thing I associated it with, although I never had the confirmation roadies had one. Mostly had that one as a kid, paired with mother instinct, bc I wanted to feed imaginary babies. I tried to swallow things really slow to not put them in my stomach and be able to give it to them. Obviously not compatible with human anatomy.)
No goddamn hair (no.)

Urges

Hunting/scavenging urges (Small preys, like songbirds and reptiles, which I sometimes caught as a child, but honestly also things like fish, roadkills, other humans, and objects moving in my peripheral vision. Definitely don't hunt by swooping down, I mostly feel like hunting on the ground. To be totally honest I am not completely sure how I would see myself hunting. I had questioned secretary bird for their stomps(?), and monitors for the whole bite and wait (?), but roadies never quite bothered me, since some parts felt closer than other. For some reason I feel like I should have a strong bite force though. Had that as a kid too.)

Diet (Like pointed at above, my urges mostly concern meat. I am able to eat raw meat and offals without being bothered by taste and texture, it actually feels quite right. I don't think I would be able to eat bone marrow, or scavenge very old carcasses, so I'm most likely not a pure scavenger.)

Territory (I feel rather territorial of my nest/room, and of my stuff, but I don't mind that much if people I trust are in there, as long as I can see them. I really don't like having people climb in my bed though, especially if I can smell their scent in there afterwards. Also applies to when I have to sleep at someone's house in a bed with a scent, or wear clothes that have a scent.)

Nesting (I definitely feel safer higher up. Climbing in trees has been a thing since I was a kid, and now I climb in club. I have a bunk bed, and have always felt more comfortable in tower bedrooms, like rehabilitated pigeon towers, or on a high floor. From being in New York, there is a height limit above which even I start to feel like wow this is maybe a bit high. (40th floor). Nesting includes rubbing my head on stuff bc it's the easiest way for it to smell like me. It's pretty ridiculous to witness.)

Personal bubble (I don't like hugs from people aside from my parents, just makes me uneasy and feeling trapped. I don't usually like people getting to close in general, and someone I don't know bursting my bubble usually register as aggressive in my mind, and put me on my defensive. On the other side, I am an absolute nuisance to my friends and tend to annoy the shit out of everyone I can by poking and slapping stuff. I also have bitten, but in these cases never aggressively. I am surprised I still have friends but I am very happy to have them around.)

Social (Usually, I'm mostly a family kind of person, with a few people that I consider friends. It's difficult for me to trust people, and although it's most likely a human trait, it does impact how alienated I sometimes feel in human society. On the other side, I feel like I need a flock/pack/group during what I suspect some kind of nesting season? Which is what makes me think I may not be a monogamous creature. That, or mated couples probably change over the years. It's more of a temporary regroupment, I think. Funnily enough, that also goes as a person, I mostly have romantic attraction during summer, and sometimes early winter although it may be a seasonal depression thing? Unsure.)

Senses (I rely on smells a lot. I can't actually like, find things through smells or anything, but smells are something I use to help me with stress, and I find smell really important to whether or not I like being around someone, weirdly enough. I don't usually have a lot of smells I hate. I can also distinguish families from each other from scent, household all smell different. I have a few clothes that I could say belonged to so or so like that. I have shit eyes, so unsure if I'd have liked sight more if I wasn't near sighted. I love colors a lot though. It's one of the best things with being human, to see so much colors.)

Vocalizations (Lots of weird noises. They tend to change over time, I suspect that I mostly tend to pick stuff from my environment and repeat it. Currently, I know I hiss, and make things I'd best describe as a light throat rumble, remind of the french "a" kinda? Mostly when surprised. Also a rolling tongue noise to imitate clacking, I realized I did that one while playing with my dog. Some high pitched ones as greetings/I see you kind of stuff too. For some reason human screech feel weirdly right.)

Courting instincts (Hard to say, I don't think I actually fall in love easily. Bright colors and glitter I think are a thing, but I don't actually know if it's not just human. I feel the need to bring stuff to people I would wanna court tho, sometimes also friends. Food is an usual one. I'm pretty sure I had a thing were I got into a weird showing off pose that I had linked to wing display too. Weird bowing thing. I've also sometimes felt aggressive toward people I considered that way.)

Sunbathing (Also weird bowing t-pose, kinda similar.)

Parenting urges (Definitely not human way of reproducing, that's very alien and scary to me. Currently have a pregnant teacher and hh, it's creepy. I am not bad with kids tho, they are kinda cute, and they do trigger parenting instincts, as much as things like kitten, puppies, baby birds or baby insects do, but because I can interact more with them, it feels more important ig. One parenting instinct is definitely carrying around bb. But I think that's a general one, although maybe birds don't actually do that one? Also the crop thing I mentioned earlier. Preening too. Preening goes for most family kind of thing.)
Climate (Definitely warm. Preferably dry I think. Mediterranean is definitely very nice, but I very much enjoyed California too.)

Dreams + spiritual

Patron (My patron is the Serpent, so that might impact my whole dragonkith thing)

Flight dreams (Have them a lot, either the worst or the best. Often accompanied with really unpleasant stuff like violence, or nightmarish things.)

Shapeshifting (I took the form of a roadrunner at least once, and of a draconic monster at least once too. I don't remember taking other forms, although I probably must have been a dragon a few times as a kid. Monster hunter dragons appareared quite a few time as other people or me too.)

Daydream (Can't seem to get the pic to work, so basically I have had a sort of representation of myself since a while who is basically a black feathered six limbed drake with a skull like head with four protuberance. I sometimes represented it with wings were the second set of forearm was, or weird grabber things that I think I got from whip tail scorpions. Also my first character I slapped zygodactylous feet on. From researching Thanator, I think it's likely I meant the protuberance to be cartilaginous and not bony, since I showed them kinda moving sometimes. Also has a blade at the top of the tail, I remember fighting in daydream with that. Made a link with Seregios from MH, but Glavenus from the same source also is a good exemple, although in my case it's much smaller blade. Xenomorph like I'd say. Said representation is fading as I heal, so I assume it is linked to a coping mechanism, but some traits, like a beak, zygodactylous feet, a bladed tail, or draconic shape stay. Some more have appeared, and seemed to have been present before i prictured me as this, like bright colors, or a more tetrapodal body plan.)

(Additional note, roadrunner appears in there, so it's most likely a mix. I don't think I have more than two creatures I may identify as)


Childhood stuff

Gonna add that here, found proof that I did indeed consider myself a dragon as a child, and found a ton of info from a part of my life I don't quite remember. Makes it likely my feelings are one of a wyvern.

Specifics

All that concern a specific creature

Roadrunner

Need to fly

General avian gait

Wings (elliptical)

Way of running

Semi terrestrial but can still fly

Zygodactyles feet

Crest

Predator

Sunbathing pose

Strike-me pose (hunting snakes)

Vocalization? (I do other, but most fit.)

Neck and face length

Crop (I don’t even actually know if they have one in the end. I think I could only confirm that old world cuckoo do.)

Desert habitat

Diurnal

I theoretically never felt feathers without provoking it, but I have a need to preen/clean myself, and I’m sure I don’t have fur.

i had a provoked full body shift, the body shape felt very right.

I had a few beak shifts, but less than snarls. Nonetheless, beak sometimes feel better than canine mouth. On the other side, monitors I had specifically researched for head shape.

I know I have a long tail. I thought I had the tail of a raptor a few times



I feel like I am not monogamous/change partner every year

I have felt as if I should attack with claws? See Secretary bird

No smell



Draconic

I hoard metal. I’m not sure if I would eat it?

Long reptilian tail

Monitor head

General dragon obsession as a child

See myself as a dragon in my head

Wings

Possibly affinity to air and fire

First confirmed kintype

More omnivorous than Roadrunners, would explain general carnivorous craving. I do not get cravings for bugs, but that could be bc of human culture.

It just,, makes a lot of sense

Dragon stuff spiritually

Ppl told me I have dragon vibes

The Stare(™)

Venom? Bleeding? Komodo hunting style

Head things can theoretically be horns

Smell

claws



Trouble with not real



Monster

Coping mechanisms mostly

Aggressive

Shapeshift

Black sclera reflective pupils

Hackles

Snarl

Mist

Smells fear or manipulate emotion or smth



honestly unsure I identify as this at all, mostly in bad mental health.



Other

Random stuff that makes me shifty.



Big bad wolf + Sick like me In This Moment

Roundtable Rivals

Ga'hoole obv, Age of Fire, secret of kells, doc The last dragon

One of my vest with sequins



Creature I looked up and/or questioned

Roadrunner (Confirmed in November 2018 I think. Lots of stuff that goes well with it, but monogamous, which doesn't, and the hunting style, which has good and bad. Other things seem right. Right now a paratype since February 2020.)

Monitors (Head shape, hunting style. Not much else. Draconic)

Secretary birds, burrower owls (Not right feet for first, not right head for second. Still pretty good contenders.)

Rooster, Peacock, Pheasants (Similar to above, terrestrial bird. Probably kith type)

Corvid (lots of stuff wrong. I just like 'em.)

Dragon (From new contact with dragons, seems like I do in fact feel like it could be my kintype indeed.)

Monster (Would explain a bunch of daydream stuff. Perhaps a copinglink.)

Cockatrice (Honestly makes more sense than it should, but I don't think I identify as one. Avian and draconic.)

Cat (Imprinting, not identity)

General Grievous, Envy (Sympaths. Six limbed, general body shapes, general mind, reminds me of copinglink. Envy frighteningly so. Monstrous. A bit of draconic?)

Thanator (Six limbs, snarl, general behavior. Pandoran biology probably doesn't fit though, and I thiiink they reproduce in a mammalian way which is a big no. Monstrous and a bit of draconic)

Xenomorph (Similar, general form and behavior but in depth it's less likely. Monstrous only)

Hounds of Tindalos (Honestly a good bet for monstrous feelings since we know practically nothing about their appearance. I don't particularly connect to the tongue and blue blood tho)

Seregios (It's basically a draconic roadrunner that flies more. Honestly extremely close to most of my stuff, It is a very likely candidate, If I'm not a roady I'm probably similar to that thing. I might even have imprinted the zygodactylous feet from it.)

(what a mess. Old blog)

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