So, I'm not sure how to word this, haha. But, it's something I've been thinking about all day yesterday and today, and I view it as somewhat of an important epiphany in my self-discovery.
I might not be a wolf. I think I am, instead, an eastern coyote, or possibly it might be another theriotype alongside my werewolf kintype.
I went for a walk yesterday, and I walked near the river and sat on a large rock, staring out into the water. My thoughts started to wander, and I thought about the things in my life that were most important to me. I thought about the things I wanted to learn, I reflected on my beliefs, on what I should do, and most prominently, I thought about my existence and my own personal identity. This isn't something I do regularly, so naturally, I spent quite a while sitting on that rock alone, staring out and just thinking. And, naturally, I started thinking about my therianthropy. As I sat there daydreaming, it suddenly dawned on me, sort of like I was shocked with a jolt of electricity. I might be a coyote, specifically an eastern coyote.
As I thought to myself about such an idea, I realized just how easily I was easily able to see and envision myself as a coyote inside my head, and see myself living the lifestyle of an eastern coyote. Ironically enough, even more strongly than my wolf kintype. I just undeniably feel like I'm a coyote.
The reason why I say it's likely I'm an eastern coyote specifically is because I feel a lot more at home in the environment in which that subspecies of coyote lives. Although, I'm willing to admit, this might be my personal bias, because I was actually born and raised in a semi-rural area in New England with a good coyote population. (I actually came face-to-face with a wild coyote last year!) So, it's likely that I may be biased because that is where I grew up. But at the same time, when I envision my theriotype, I imagine a coyote with a somewhat wolf-like build, very similar to that of an eastern coyote, as opposed to thinner and smaller like a western coyote. So, maybe I might not be biased after all, and it's possible my therianthropy may be a factor in why I feel so connected to where I grew up and currently live.
Even after this discovery, I still find part of me doesn't want to give up my identity as a wolf. While I've awakened as nonhuman many years ago, I've identified as a [were]wolf for a few months, and I admit I've felt at home calling myself wolfkin and werewolfkin. Part of me thinks the werewolf aspect of my identity is definitely still a thing. I do feel like I'm a werewolf. Just... not a regular wolf, if that makes sense. A coyote fits me better in that aspect.
I'll need to do more thinking and self-reflection. It's hard when you discover something new about yourself, especially when you discover that another part of yourself was false in the process. I do feel like a coyote, and I might look into the label "coyotekin" as I explore more of my identity. I'll try looking up guided meditations and other methods I can use to look deep inside myself for answers, as well as doing heavy research on coyotes. If I come up with any progress, I'll be writing a follow-up entry to this on my blog. Thank you sincerely to anyone who read this!
I might not be a wolf. I think I am, instead, an eastern coyote, or possibly it might be another theriotype alongside my werewolf kintype.
I went for a walk yesterday, and I walked near the river and sat on a large rock, staring out into the water. My thoughts started to wander, and I thought about the things in my life that were most important to me. I thought about the things I wanted to learn, I reflected on my beliefs, on what I should do, and most prominently, I thought about my existence and my own personal identity. This isn't something I do regularly, so naturally, I spent quite a while sitting on that rock alone, staring out and just thinking. And, naturally, I started thinking about my therianthropy. As I sat there daydreaming, it suddenly dawned on me, sort of like I was shocked with a jolt of electricity. I might be a coyote, specifically an eastern coyote.
As I thought to myself about such an idea, I realized just how easily I was easily able to see and envision myself as a coyote inside my head, and see myself living the lifestyle of an eastern coyote. Ironically enough, even more strongly than my wolf kintype. I just undeniably feel like I'm a coyote.
The reason why I say it's likely I'm an eastern coyote specifically is because I feel a lot more at home in the environment in which that subspecies of coyote lives. Although, I'm willing to admit, this might be my personal bias, because I was actually born and raised in a semi-rural area in New England with a good coyote population. (I actually came face-to-face with a wild coyote last year!) So, it's likely that I may be biased because that is where I grew up. But at the same time, when I envision my theriotype, I imagine a coyote with a somewhat wolf-like build, very similar to that of an eastern coyote, as opposed to thinner and smaller like a western coyote. So, maybe I might not be biased after all, and it's possible my therianthropy may be a factor in why I feel so connected to where I grew up and currently live.
Even after this discovery, I still find part of me doesn't want to give up my identity as a wolf. While I've awakened as nonhuman many years ago, I've identified as a [were]wolf for a few months, and I admit I've felt at home calling myself wolfkin and werewolfkin. Part of me thinks the werewolf aspect of my identity is definitely still a thing. I do feel like I'm a werewolf. Just... not a regular wolf, if that makes sense. A coyote fits me better in that aspect.
I'll need to do more thinking and self-reflection. It's hard when you discover something new about yourself, especially when you discover that another part of yourself was false in the process. I do feel like a coyote, and I might look into the label "coyotekin" as I explore more of my identity. I'll try looking up guided meditations and other methods I can use to look deep inside myself for answers, as well as doing heavy research on coyotes. If I come up with any progress, I'll be writing a follow-up entry to this on my blog. Thank you sincerely to anyone who read this!
