For about as long as I can remember, I've had a deep connection with nature/trees/wildlife. I remember sitting under the trees in my backyard as a kid and talking to them (I was lonely ok) and being sad when they were cut down later on. I feel drawn to magic and Celtic symbols and certain imagery that reminds me of something like Ireland. I've questioned many different kintypes throughout the nearly 10 years I've known about otherkin, but nothing I've found yet has quite fit. I never really questioned being an elf, though, because I was convinced that this kintype was something less humanoid, like some kind of nature spirit or beastly creature, maybe something that could shapeshift. Maybe it's possible I'm some kind of shapeshifting elf? Anyways, I thought I'd share my thoughts here, while I'm stuck on elf research (even tho I should be doing other things rn lol).
It's funny, though- I haven't seriously questioned a new kintype in quite a while, so now that I'm more mentally stable and in a better place where I feel like I'm less likely to cling to things out of escapism, I think it could mean something that I'm suddenly questioning being an elf.
I've tried to do some elf research but maybe it's just because I haven't seen LOTR since I was like 8 and haven't read/seen any other elf related movies/books/etc, but I've found it really hard to digest the information on elfkin I've found online. I just.. don't know where to start. Maybe I'm just dumb lol. What even defines an elf? Are elves just magical people with pointy ears? I still have a lot of questions that I feel like haven't been answered in the research I have done.
Anyways, I'm gonna start by making a list of traits this naturey kintype has or could have, just so I have a list to look at and compare things to. I hope this helps someone else out, as well
In no particular order
- feeling very connected to nature, deep respect for trees and wildlife
- I understand and respect the circle of life but I could never take the life of any living being unless absolutely necessary. I think as this nature being I was probably vegetarian/vegan? Either way, I'm vegan in this life and love it. veggies are amazing, my one kinda bad weakness is bread/pasta loool
- drawn to magic, potion making, and the concept of magical healing. also maybe water magic? maybe that's just my orca side talking tho
- big tree hugger. idk if I believe in spiritual stuff but trees have souls u can't change my mind I will protect them until the day I die
- I've had several dreams of this area, like a small country or something? like, different sections of this area in different dreams, but somehow I feel they're all connected, and I've even made a map of it before. I think I may have posted this map on TG somewhere, and I remember showing it to my ex several years ago, but I don't have it anymore. In all of these dreams, I felt like a human/humanoid. Like, a magical human. I imagine as an elf you wouldn't really "notice" your ears a whole lot, so maybe I was an elf in those dreams but didn't realize it?? Dunno.
- For a long time I've had this sort of imaginary version of "me": pretty girl with fair skin, long wavy black hair, freckles, bright green eyes. I started imagining "me" with elf ears and it FITS SO WELL and now I feel like it's weird to imagine her without elf ears, lmao. Could just be that I really like elves and am excited about potentially finding my nature-related kintype finally, but idk yet, obviously.
- Though I'm not a violent person, I've always wanted to learn martial arts, archery, and how to fight with a sword. These things feel powerful and sort of natural. I mean, I've never tried archery and have only tried a little bit of martial arts from youtube videos and would play fight with sticks, but still. Something to consider. I feel very protective of nature (and in general just am a protective person), and I think it makes sense that my "elf" (or whatever) self was some kind of warrior, defending something, probably nature?
- I didn't realize for a long time but the name I made up for myself as a kid, "Karashoo", sounds kinda Irish. And the name I go by now, Kara, is pronounced in the Irish way.
- I love climbing trees. I love heights. I love climbing. I love walking barefoot in the grass oh man I LOVE being in nature in general but the best things are: sticking my feet in water, climbing twisty trees, and the smell of rain. Absolutely love them.
- Feel very connected to big trees that seem like they couldn't exist on earth
- As far as a civilization/community goes, I'm not really sure. I definitely don't feel like I just lived alone in the forest or anything, maybe in a small village, maybe I lived part of my life in a larger city/castle/etc, idk.
- I don't really believe in any gods and definitely don't feel the need to worship any, but I kind of have this believe that the earth itself is alive in some way, like, the universe created itself and everything is alive in a way, but not like, god kind of way. Not like a god who created "right" and "wrong" or has any set rules or anything like that, but just that the earth is alive and we all just kinda exist on it. Though, I feel the need to protect the earth, or do something to help. As a kid learning about native Americans, I really resonated with how (some at least) respected nature and only took what they needed and used everything. I feel like, in a way, I am apart of nature, but not like, some cool important spirit that guards the forest or anything, but more like, I belong to a species of creatures who feel the need to protect nature, if that makes sense.
- If nothing else, I really like the elven lifestyle and I could definitely see myself living like a modern elf, connecting with nature, practicing magic even though I don't expect results but because it's just something I enjoy, etc. And since seeing elf aesthetics from looking up cool bedroom designs, I've decided that I want my bedroom to be "cozy elf" vibes, lol. Wood, crystals, glass, big windows, flowy curtains, LOTS of plants and green. I'd totally feel comfortable in a room with that kind of decor.
- This could totally just be a human thing and it is a pretty common human thing, but I'd say I probably like music a bit more than the average human, as in like, it influences my mood a lot (which is why I now exclusively listen to pop LOL I need all the upbeat happy stuff I can get!) and makes me want to dance. And dancing- I've always enjoyed dancing or just moving my body in some way; doing physical things. I've read that elves are usually very into music/dancing and sometimes general art, which I very much am into, so it's something worth noting, I think.
- Almost forgot this! I feel like my body should be very light. Possibly inhumanly light? Just wanna be a light bouncy magical person n jump around through trees ngl. Really, though. I've had issues with being overweight since I became overweight, and as I get older I feel more like, this is not right. Absolutely nothing wrong with being big as long as you're healthy
Edit: looked at my old journal from another kin forum and I was right, I've never questioned being an elf or any humanoid kin aside from fae. A couple of my journal posts said I felt fae "made the most sense", but it clearly didn't feel quite right. I feel like the answer could've been there the whole time, I just didn't think to look into elves! lmao
Like elven clothes I really feel connected to, and the colors. Earthy colors, cloaks, the really cool elf crowns, stuff like that. Fae make me think of flowers and mushrooms, elves make me think more of trees and moss. Really vibe with trees n moss. Heck yeah.
I strongly feel that if I'm not an elf, I must be something very similar. I think I'm really on the right track here, I'd just have to find what specific kind of elf I am, or what similar elf-like creature I could be. Just, some kinda magical humanoid with a deep connection to nature.
Maybe I'm not an elf because for one, I often feel more animalistic, though that may just be because of my other kintypes. Or I'm a type of shapeshifting elf or something? Also, not sure if it's really related but I feel like, in this life, maybe it's not my sole duty to protect the earth, but I want to anyways. As much as I love nature, I'm shit at actually doing much to help the planet. I hate some bugs (but love others, like bees and fireflies <3) and the thought of going camping and having to pee in the woods and deal with bugs terrifies me, lmao. I try to respect nature and not harm any living beings if I don't really have to, but some bugs get less sympathy and if they get in my house I'll just kill them tbh. Spiders are chill and can stay, crickets and june bugs must d i e. Whatever my kintype is, I feel like I don't do a great job of being it in this life, lol. In reality I'm just a dumb bitch who has crippling anxiety but cares a little too much. Maybe this kintype is purely psychological and it doesn't matter anyways and I need to accept myself as I am and not try to live up to the standards or my magical nature guardian kintype or whatever. One step at a time, I guess.
Will update later if I feel the need to add more to this post. Anyways, here are some photos I really feel a connection with:
just googled "elf aesthetic" at one point but damn some of these hit HARD
I NEED this crown omfg (also what is this from??)
Welp, that's all for now. I think when I'm less busy I'll draw my "elf" self, like with cool elf clothes that I could see myself wearing. If it turns out I'm not an elf, at least I can live out my elf fantasy through art and cosplay, lol. I should rewatch LOTR if I ever get the chance. Feel free to recommend any elf shows/movies, maybe books but I prefer stuff I can watch while doing other things.
I've seen some stuff about the "silver elves", who are a couple of older elvenkin, and on their website there's a little questionnaire thing you can do, similar to the typical "what kind of elf are you" quizzes you'd find around, except you email them your answers and they'll respond with what tribe of elves they think you're from. It says on the website that they'll also give you what they think your elf name is; they didn't do that for me, and I'm sort of curious what they'd say and kind of want to respond and ask. I'm surprised they even responded tbh, but they responded within a couple of days! Really cool if you're an elf/questioning and want to do this out of curiosity, though I'd definitely take their answer with a grain of salt.
I filled out the questionnaire pretty detailed, and here's what they told me:
"You are of The Baryndi (pronounced: bear - ren - dye) packs of the Wicrore (why - crow - ree) tribe are elven folk who love the wooded mountains, especially among the oak trees, but they love all trees, and they often establish their villages there. This is especially true if these mountains rest near the ocean or sea. They love to wander from the mountains to the sea and back again or sometimes just sit upon the rocky outcroppings of their forested heights and watch the sun set over the ocean. The Wicrore refer to this combination of mountain, forest and sea as Paradise for their kind. And what is their kind?
Besides being elves, these elfae folk are deeply related to dogs and there is some sense that they may have been elf dogs, which is to say dogs that lived with the elven and were thus also considered to be elves, even though in dog form, by their humanoid elf companions. There is a sense that they have taken on more humanoid elfin form in the course of subsequent lifetimes, but that they still hold a deep sense of connection to the canine world in their hearts and souls. And since elves are frequently shapeshifters, they can return to their canine form whenever they desire to do so.
It is known by the elven, at least if not by all peoples, that we carry all of our previous evolutionary lives within us. Therefore, our lives as ravens, crows, dogs, wolves, cats or whatever, still exist within our soulful spirits and we are able to connect to those forms in our current lives. So it is that so many folk feel a close connection to this or that animal or sometimes several animals and some folks still resemble those animals even while they have moved on to humanoid bodies. Of course, some of them still act in many ways like when they were animal kind as well.
Also, such connections often dispose us to have companions in those particular animals forms in our current lives that we lived in our past lives. This serves to help our kindred who are currently manifesting as dogs or wolves and so forth as they are progressing through animal form in their evolutionary development.
Thus, most Wicrore villages have lots of dogs and sometimes wolves in them. But you will also find crows and other animals that the Wicrore elves strongly relate to and associate with. They have become magical familiars surely, but more than that they are viewed by the Wicrore as friends and kindred, often as younger brothers and sisters of evolution.
The Wicrore are a democratic society that elect their leaders for set terms of office, although usually the term is not arbitrarily set as in a specified length of time, but dependent upon specific tasks the individual was elected to complete. Once the individual has accomplished what they have been put in office to achieve, they then give up their office or, in some cases, are given another or further goal, depending upon their success in their previous mission.
In this way, those elected become very clear that they are hired by their society to work on certain projects and there never develops a sense that they are more important than the rest of their community. They are truly servants of their people.
In relationship to Mankind and the people of the normal world, the Wicrore have been quite shy for ages and have sought to avoid them as much as possible; however, with the Earth being in so much danger from pollution, these elfin folk have determined thems'elves to come out of hiding for a bit and do what they can to influence Men toward a better and more respectful attitude toward the Earth and the creatures that share this world with him (and her also, but Men unfortunately often tend to discount the women among them).
For the Wicrore look upon the Earth as a living being and protecting the Earth and all upon it is at the core of their spiritual beliefs and their dedication to their path. As the Wicrore say, Nature Is the Way.
While it is true that the Wicrore see thems'elves as originating from another Earth dimension, they note that all the realms are connected and see it as their duty to protect Nature on every plane and dimensional world. Ignoring harm to the Earth to them is like ignoring the fact that one's house is one fire. Whether one is in the house at the time or not, one still wishes to put out the fire.
In helping you to understand what sort of elf, pixie, fae or other you may be and what your tribe is ...
... it is important to understand that we are doing the best with the information you gave us. But it is also important to consider that while these Silver Elves may say that you are from this or that tribe or group, that your own people may have a different name for yours'elves.
This is not unlike the fact that people commonly speak of the Celts, but it is quite possible that Keltoi is a name that originally came from the Greeks and was later taken on by some of the Celtic peoples, in particular, of France that they called Galli or Gauls.
Similarly, the ancient Romans referred to Ireland as Scoti, and the Scottish where tribal folk who migrated from Ireland to what became known in time as Scotland and integrated with the Pictist, Pict-Sidhe, Pixies of that land, as well as with the descendants of some of the Viking folk who had settled there. But originally they called thems'elves by their tribal names and took on the name 'Scottish' later.
In more modern times, we can observe this phenomena in the fact that in the sixties and seventies there were folk who referred to thems'elves as 'freaks' and would let their long hair or 'freak flag' fly and who were called hippies by outsiders. Now, it is common for those who were freaks in those times to refer to thems'elves as 'old hippies'.
So again we say to you that the name we are giving you for your people is our name for them and you and yours may have another name for yours'elves and your tribe. Trust you intuition on this. What is truly important is for you to use the information we have given you to look deeply inside yourself and refine your own narrative of who you truly are. This is not meant to limit you in anyway but to help you expand your own understanding of your ancient heritage."
I feel like they just took what I said and made up an elf tribe and names for it, honestly. Everything they mentioned matches what answers I gave them. I even mentioned at the end that I'm a dog therian, and I was a bit surprised at the whole "elf dog" thing. Though, I only briefly mentioned it (and in the animal totem question I answered with canines and avians), as well as that I'm an orca, so it's funny how they say I'm of this elf race that is part canine, but haven't said anything about orcas, or the ocean beyond that my "tribe" lived near the ocean, I guess.
This is about what I expected, though. I didn't expect the answer to like, reveal something about me that I didn't already know, just give a possibly made up name based on my answers. (Sorry if I sound disrespectful, I'm just very skeptical.) I'm not sure how I feel about the elf dog concept tbh, I don't think my elf kintype (if I am an elf after all) is like, part dog. Maybe a shapeshifter, maybe had a connection to canines, something like that; but I really feel like my elf kintype and dog theriotype are separate entities. Like, in a way I feel like all my kintypes kinda merge together to make me myself but they're still separate if that makes sense??
Anyways, beyond that, I've just been thinking about this elf stuff some more and here are a couple things I really resonate with:
-I think my elf kintype lived in trees. Like, treehouses probably. Maybe moved later on to a castle or something, idfk, but I am very drawn to the idea of little elven treehouses. Or big ones.
-I've just been wondering if my elf kintype died young or something?? Because I can't imagine myself growing old. Or maybe my kind doesn't grow old, like gray hair and wrinkly. I guess psychologically it would make sense because I didn't have much of a childhood or teenagehood and on top of that I really believed for a while that I wasn't going to make it to like my mid twenties or anything, so the concept of physically growing old is weird to me, and kind of scary. Maybe it's just that, and I'm projecting that feeling onto my elf kintype and that's why I can't see my kintype in her later years. Maybe I'm psychologically an elf because I'm just a big nature nerd who has an uncanny connection to elven aesthetics and magic. Who knows?
Anyways yeah, as you can tell, I'm really leaning towards being an elf. I've been so afraid in the past of labeling my kintype unless I was absolutely sure because I'm terrible with figuring out my own identity, but honestly, I just feel like this makes a lot of sense and feels right, and the more I look into it, the more I really resonate with elves and can see myself being one. Still- I won't officially call myself an elf until I'm totally sure. I'll give it some time.
I'm elf. That's it. That's the post.
Seriously, though. It just feels SO right that I can't ignore it anymore. Like, similar to when I discovered my dog breed. I am an elf, and it feels great saying that.
Here's the promised elf self drawing:
So I asked someone on tumblr for a tarot reading about my elf past life, and here are the results + my thoughts! (And a couple of interesting things that happened last night)
Pics of the white moth as well!
This is the THIRD white moth I've seen. Not sure what this could mean, if anything at all. Maybe it's just a coincidence, or there are for some reason an abundance of white moths near me, which is weird because it's not like white moths will blend in with anything here (I live in Oklahoma, we hardly get snow and don't have white trees or anything). If someone has any idea why I've been seeing so many white moths, please tell me!