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Running low on serotonin

TW: all the normal negative stuff and cussing

I just got out of a really bad depressive episode, and I think its coming back.
WIth family issues, toxic friends, and school just being absolute shit I think im in pain again.
I wanna go back to the days when I just thought a bout a handsome prince rescuing me from myself, but now I realize I cant ever be in a relationship like that.
friends are as far as I can go.
I wanna go back to when it was quiet and I could just vibe in reality.
Im so fucking sick of slipping away. Of drifting in and out of reality.
I just want to feel real and stop feeling so aware.
I hate it I hate it!
I want someone to care for me but I just push those I love away.
I wanna be alone yet surrounded by people.
I WANT MY LIFE BACK
I want these scars to fade.
I want my claws back but I have been declawed.
How am I supposed to stand up for myself when everything I do depends on others.
I want to love someone who loves me
I keep bending backwards for people who stab me and tear me apart.
- Raemus

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The Royal System
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