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struggling with my image..

TW: Body dismorphia

people generally think that because i am seen as "skinny", i don't have self imagine issues. I'm here to break that misconsumption by saying, i do.

In US sizes i am a 2-4, i am sorta of slender but i hate myself and break down some days. My tummy sticks out, like a lot...it pokes at my shirt now and i litterally cry now just putting clothes on. I just feel so ugly. I dont feel confedint wearing tight clothes or shorts. Nothing. I just feel ugly. People at my work place always tell me that im so skinny and so pretty, i'll never have to worry about anything. I FUCKING DO. I hate my body so much, my tummy sticks out, my boobs aren't big enough and my ass isn't even there...

I've wanted to look like a barbie doll since i was little and never have...I don't even think i'm that pretty. I have thin hair, sagged eyes, small lips...i hate myself. To top it off, i have to wear silicone ears to be myself. Why couldn't my ears just be long and pointed like they're suppose to be....why...

I know that now body positivity is very common, but when i was growing up...skinny was the only thing that meant pretty. So, i still have that mindset. I'm constantly sitting here worrying if im eating too much or if i look appealing at all to anyone. Are my eyes too dark, does anyone notice how thin my hair is, do i look pregnant. The list goes on. My point is, don't sit here and judge someone and assume that they are happy. People think im "happy" because i am poytrayed as pretty and skinny. In relatiy, i wake up every morning and see an ugly elf. Thats it

Comments

I understand. I'm 16 with a BMI of 26. But I'm not even that fat, it's just the way I am built. My little sister is built like an Amazon which I dream to be, but currently I rely on baggy t-shirts and sweats just to get over gender dysphoria. It's not fun.
 
Were you a 90s teenager? I was and I remember the emphasis on being skinny and having to look a certain way to be okay. It was a very shallow decade.
 
Were you a 90s teenager? I was and I remember the emphasis on being skinny and having to look a certain way to be okay. It was a very shallow decade.
nope, i was a tween and lowkey emo kid tho in the 2010s. Right on the cusp on where we were ok with not just being skinny. But, it still stayed
 

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youtilla
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