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why are elfs such a f*tish?

!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!
!creeps and will be mentioned and explicated talk will be present!
When I was first discovering that I was an elf, one of the first things I noticed from people (spefically boys) was how much my ears were a "s*x appeal" to them. Like, for example: My boyfriend at the time (we'll call him Pat) , noticed I was wearing them every now and then. He would at first say things like "aww thats so cute". Innocent things like that...but then it turned into "If they were real I'd totally pull on them as I gave it to you from behind."

He sometimes would make these super weird and passive comments about how "Elf girls are useally the submissive types." or that "elf girls are good in bed." It was like he was almost mocking me in a way. Like, he wasn't taking what I was seriously and trying to turn it into a f*tish lifestyle. I felt like I was now his own personal h*ntai girl that came to life instead of his girlfriend....

I did not realize who I was because of some p*rno with elfs in it. My Lady Giladriel made me realize who I was and she was kinda bad*ss. Not even kinda, she was. So graceful and smart...by the gods I want to be her. He knew this too and still tried to s*xulize basically my soul and species. Being a goth girl is already hard enough...men wanting a big ti**y goth gf and thinking I'm gonna be some personal k*nk sl*ve to them...and now they think I'm some h*ntai waifu come to life and I'll do whatever "senpai" says...

I was 13 when me and Pat started dating. I was already kind of in the process of discovering who I was before we were dating, but it started to gradually get more and more as we dated. When I had offically figured out what I was and who I was, I told Pat. I told him this was NOT a f*tish thing and he needed to stop with that. He at first seemed legit in his appology but after a few months. He went right back to it...

That was one reason we broke up actually. I couldn't stand to be with someone who couldn't respect me and was basically f*tishizing both my lifestyle and species.

Me and Pat broke up at the very beginning of 2020. January I wanna say...when we did. I wasn't that upset about it. I was glad to have that D-bag out of my life. Throughout 2020 I couldn't really go out and date, but i did talk to people. I talked to a guy named Ian...He was also goth so I maybe thought he would understand the missuse of our lifestyle and how I felt about people s*xualizing both my gothness and elf ways. Fun Fact: No, no he did not.

He was so pressuring me into sending pictures and saying "hot elf stuff." Like he wanted me to moan lines that charaters from skyrim would say...? He would say he wanted to pull on my ears, make wear armour as we "did it", when I would have shifts infront of him (wich btw, i didn't even really do them infront of Pat) He would say he wanted me to talk/act like that when we got freaky...I again was being turned into a f*tish....

He actually later did admit he just wanted me for that. He admitted to it finally because I was refusing to do what he said (proud of myself for that). I'm gonna be honest, I cried about it for days. I thought I had finally found someone who liked me for me. Nope. Lies. All lies...

This was over the summer I wanna say...about mid august so I guess more into the fall....Ian now I believe calls himself "the dark vampire lord." Almost like he's mocking otherkins in a way...He would tell me maybe I was in a "phase" or this was an "act". Psh, you're an act. A fake vampire wannabe. Save your critism for someone else, "vampire boy". I didn;t say that....but i should've.

I will never understand why I am constantly f*tishized....what about my ears, the way I shift, the way I think of myself...what about that is "s*xy" to the human men? Now, for clarity...I do like attention in that way, but there comes a point to which you are placing a fantasy on me and expectations of me in a harmful way that is basically mocking me. If you wanna brag on how you have a hot gf who happens to be an elf. Cool. But when you're like "i've always wanted to know what elf felt like *Wink wink*." No. You should want to date me and be with me because I am me. Not because I'm an elf and "hot". I'm wired like a human girl...i'm not a h*ntai elf girl. I'm not gonna flash you whenever you want and moan your fake skyrim slang. I'm gonna set boundaries, exspect you to treat me like a lady, want to take it slow. This isn't an act or a f*tish. ITS ME.

Thanks for listening -Fahteyah

Comments

Finna Alsvartr
YES. Same with demon women (like the amount of porn involving succubi is disturbing considering they can and will literally kill you). Same with gods (partially due to fangirls of actors who play gods). We are not fantasy material, as much as some wish we were. Now, some people may be willing to do things like that with there partner (like Loki and I did it without me concealing my wings or horns in Astral once) but that is purely by choice.

Personally I have never experienced being fetishized like this as I am only 16. But my first somewhat-boyfriend was a weeaboo (no hate to weebs, I'm one myself) but when I would innocently roleplay as a girl with wolf ears and a tail when I was on discord, it became somewhat sexual and I did not like it. I am only just old enough to date by my family's standards (which I am okay with. Guys my age tend to be gross and girls my age tend to be only acting lesbian because it's "hip" and people who claim they're someone in between tend to be only doing it for attention in my experience) so that's why I say D (we'll call him D) was a somewhat-boyfriend (purely online relationship. We held hands in public and that's it).

I think the biggest reason women (in particular, not saying men aren't fetishized either) of different species are fetishized is because we're portrayed in so many ways that there is literally something for everyone. Slender build, tall, muscular, busty, flat, you name it, it's out there. Plus most men I ever discussed sex with (aka D and some of my best friends who were more like annoying brothers than anything) like submissive women and hentai tends to pander to that role in my experience. Not that I mind, I just imagine myself in the position of the man (am myself dominant) because I am pansexual so generally "genderblind"

That's just my opinion. But honestly I never thought much of this until now. Thanks Fahteyah!

- Finna Alsvartr
 
youtilla
Finna Alsvartr said:
YES. Same with demon women (like the amount of porn involving succubi is disturbing considering they can and will literally kill you). Same with gods (partially due to fangirls of actors who play gods). We are not fantasy material, as much as some wish we were. Now, some people may be willing to do things like that with there partner (like Loki and I did it without me concealing my wings or horns in Astral once) but that is purely by choice.

Personally I have never experienced being fetishized like this as I am only 16. But my first somewhat-boyfriend was a weeaboo (no hate to weebs, I'm one myself) but when I would innocently roleplay as a girl with wolf ears and a tail when I was on discord, it became somewhat sexual and I did not like it. I am only just old enough to date by my family's standards (which I am okay with. Guys my age tend to be gross and girls my age tend to be only acting lesbian because it's "hip" and people who claim they're someone in between tend to be only doing it for attention in my experience) so that's why I say D (we'll call him D) was a somewhat-boyfriend (purely online relationship. We held hands in public and that's it).

I think the biggest reason women (in particular, not saying men aren't fetishized either) of different species are fetishized is because we're portrayed in so many ways that there is literally something for everyone. Slender build, tall, muscular, busty, flat, you name it, it's out there. Plus most men I ever discussed sex with (aka D and some of my best friends who were more like annoying brothers than anything) like submissive women and hentai tends to pander to that role in my experience. Not that I mind, I just imagine myself in the position of the man (am myself dominant) because I am pansexual so generally "genderblind"

That's just my opinion. But honestly I never thought much of this until now. Thanks Fahteyah!

- Finna Alsvartr
Click to expand...
I think honestly, no matter what...women have and always will be a s*x object to men. No matter what we are, its just a matter of now we can fight back and have our own voice.
 
Elluenda
Good riddance to those two, you are better off without them! It's honestly kind of annoying even just trying to look for ART of elves and half of the popular results are super sexualized, and of course with super unrealistic bodies.

I have a sort of blended approach to relationships and sexuality for myself that takes a bit from Tolkien's view on elves. I'm very reserved, polyamorous, and only really have time for people that give off "soulmate" vibes the way Tolkien's elves experienced it. Somehow I've managed to stay away from assholes, but Im not sure how exactly!

I hope better luck for you in the future as far as dude-people goes
 
youtilla
Elluenda said:
Good riddance to those two, you are better off without them! It's honestly kind of annoying even just trying to look for ART of elves and half of the popular results are super sexualized, and of course with super unrealistic bodies.

I have a sort of blended approach to relationships and sexuality for myself that takes a bit from Tolkien's view on elves. I'm very reserved, polyamorous, and only really have time for people that give off "soulmate" vibes the way Tolkien's elves experienced it. Somehow I've managed to stay away from assholes, but Im not sure how exactly!

I hope better luck for you in the future as far as dude-people goes
Click to expand...
I know! Finding my pfp was annoying...i have red hair irl and wanted to find a picture that represented me...this was the only i could find that wasn't sexual.
 

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